Remembering the past me not - Forums at Psych Central



advertisement
Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 11-13-2018, 01:56 PM #1
Anonymous48690
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Anonymous48690
Guest
Anonymous48690 has no updates. Edit
 
Posts: n/a

Default Remembering the past me not

My mother keeps reminiscing about when I was a kid up through high school and I barely have any fragments of memories of those times. Hereís a 70 year old person who is forgetful remembering tons of things with details and names from eons ago.

I feel defective.

Donít get me totally wrong, every now and then I would get a snippet of a visual memory for a second or a ďhey I know thatĒ then gone again.

A lot of these multiples on Facebook groups have really good memories it seems like they know all their alters names, places, inner world construction, their past....and I lucky to remember this morning.

Just saying...this is just how I think (or lack of I suppose)- this is our normal.
  Reply With QuoteReply With Quote

advertisement
Old 11-13-2018, 02:07 PM #2
MickeyCheeky's Avatar
MickeyCheeky MickeyCheeky is offline
Wise Elder
 
Member Since: Jun 2016
Location: Italy
Posts: 9,573
MickeyCheeky MickeyCheeky is offline
Wise Elder
MickeyCheeky's Avatar
MickeyCheeky My echo is the only voice coming back
 
Member Since: Jun 2016
Location: Italy
Posts: 9,573 (SuperPoster!)

2 yr Member
31.8k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Re: Remembering the past me not

((((AlwaysChanging2)))) I'm really sorry you're going through this. It's not your fault, though... but yes, I understand your frustration.
MickeyCheeky is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Old 11-13-2018, 10:48 PM #3
Amyjay Amyjay is offline
Grand Poohbah
 
Member Since: Mar 2017
Location: Underground
Posts: 1,985
Amyjay Amyjay is offline
Grand Poohbah
Amyjay has no updates.
 
Member Since: Mar 2017
Location: Underground
Posts: 1,985 (SuperPoster!)

2 yr Member
535 hugs
given
Default Re: Remembering the past me not

It's not a good feeling, is it. I don't like to come face to face with our lack of memory like that. We avoid it as much as possible (by not being with people - ha!)
Amyjay is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Hugs from:
"Thanks for this!" says:
Old 11-16-2018, 06:52 AM #4
Anonymous48690
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Anonymous48690
Guest
Anonymous48690 has no updates. Edit
 
Posts: n/a

Default Re: Remembering the past me not

Quote:
Originally Posted by Amyjay View Post
It's not a good feeling, is it. I don't like to come face to face with our lack of memory like that. We avoid it as much as possible (by not being with people - ha!)
Weíve spent the last lifetime apart from family and have no friends. Some of these parts are just going to have to deal with all this....not everyone is going to be pleased.

Iím just grateful that every bad moment quickly isolates and fades away in our mind.

The lack of memory part doesnít really bother me, itís hearing the stories of like it was us doing these things that she talks of....the disconnect, the unbelievable based on how we feel....

Itís not an all the time thing, I guess that she can see that it makes us uncomfortable....how bad it bothers us (she now knows about our multiplicity).

It all just ties in with the low self-esteem. Itís so scary hearing about the past when so comfortable in the present not remembering.
  Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Hugs from:
"Thanks for this!" says:
Old 11-16-2018, 10:55 AM #5
dlantern dlantern is offline
Poohbah
 
Member Since: Feb 2017
Location: Logan
Posts: 1,039
dlantern dlantern is offline
Poohbah
dlantern has no updates.
 
Member Since: Feb 2017
Location: Logan
Posts: 1,039

2 yr Member
8 hugs
given
Default Re: Remembering the past me not

Seeking support is an important first step, and you are not alone
dlantern is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Hugs from:
"Thanks for this!" says:
Old 11-16-2018, 09:06 PM #6
Anonymous48690
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Anonymous48690
Guest
Anonymous48690 has no updates. Edit
 
Posts: n/a

Default Re: Remembering the past me not

Quote:
Originally Posted by dlantern View Post
Seeking support is an important first step, and you are not alone
Thanks. Here in the US support costs money.
  Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Old 11-18-2018, 10:33 AM #7
Gr3tta_0's Avatar
Gr3tta_0 Gr3tta_0 is offline
Grand Member
 
Member Since: Apr 2017
Location: United States
Posts: 956
Gr3tta_0 Gr3tta_0 is offline
Grand Member
Gr3tta_0's Avatar
Gr3tta_0 Now with more "0"iness!
 
Member Since: Apr 2017
Location: United States
Posts: 956

2 yr Member
832 hugs
given
Default Re: Remembering the past me not

Quote:
Originally Posted by AlwaysChanging2 View Post
Weíve spent the last lifetime apart from family and have no friends. Some of these parts are just going to have to deal with all this....not everyone is going to be pleased.

Iím just grateful that every bad moment quickly isolates and fades away in our mind.

The lack of memory part doesnít really bother me, itís hearing the stories of like it was us doing these things that she talks of....the disconnect, the unbelievable based on how we feel....

Itís not an all the time thing, I guess that she can see that it makes us uncomfortable....how bad it bothers us (she now knows about our multiplicity).

It all just ties in with the low self-esteem. Itís so scary hearing about the past when so comfortable in the present not remembering.
I can't tell you how often I've argued and insisted "no i didn't, i wasn't there, i didn't go to that, that wasn't me," etc. etc. Now at least i know why, but it's still frustrating.
I don't know what specific fb group you're referring to because i don't use that site. But i just mean in general. For myself i try to never compare my life or my experiences to others. Different doesn't mean wrong, or bad, or worse, for myself or anyone else.
I hope you feel better soon!
Gr3tta_0 is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Old 11-18-2018, 11:07 AM #8
Betty_Banana's Avatar
Betty_Banana Betty_Banana is offline
Veteran Member
 
Member Since: Oct 2011
Location: USA
Posts: 544
Betty_Banana Betty_Banana is offline
Veteran Member
Betty_Banana's Avatar
Betty_Banana has no updates.
 
Member Since: Oct 2011
Location: USA
Posts: 544

5 yr Member
237 hugs
given
Default Re: Remembering the past me not

It wasn't until I was in therapy and diagnosed with DID that the whole lack of memories thing bothered me.I guess ignorance is bliss sometimes.

Before knowing,I guess i didn't really think twice about it.It was normal to not remember things.Not just the pst but things that were going on in the present.Like I went to a baby shower and afterwards my mom was telling me things I said and did while I was there and I didnt question it at all or even womder why she(or other people) would do that to begin with.I didn't know any different and that's just how life had always been for me.

But yeah,when you do know what your issue is,that it's DID,it's a whole different ballgame isn't it?

Hugs
Betty_Banana is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Old 11-18-2018, 11:43 AM #9
Amyjay Amyjay is offline
Grand Poohbah
 
Member Since: Mar 2017
Location: Underground
Posts: 1,985
Amyjay Amyjay is offline
Grand Poohbah
Amyjay has no updates.
 
Member Since: Mar 2017
Location: Underground
Posts: 1,985 (SuperPoster!)

2 yr Member
535 hugs
given
Default Re: Remembering the past me not

Quote:
Originally Posted by Betty_Banana View Post
It wasn't until I was in therapy and diagnosed with DID that the whole lack of memories thing bothered me.I guess ignorance is bliss sometimes.

Before knowing,I guess i didn't really think twice about it.It was normal to not remember things.Not just the pst but things that were going on in the present.Like I went to a baby shower and afterwards my mom was telling me things I said and did while I was there and I didnt question it at all or even womder why she(or other people) would do that to begin with.I didn't know any different and that's just how life had always been for me.

But yeah,when you do know what your issue is,that it's DID,it's a whole different ballgame isn't it?

Hugs
Yes, exactly this! Once I knew those gaps in time were other parts of me that were acting without my control I felt so many, many emotions about it, none of them good. I felt betrayed by myself, embarrassed, ashamed, and so powerless. I also felt defenseless. When other people tell me I have done or said things I have absolutely no defense to offer them. I hate it so much.
Amyjay is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Hugs from:
Old 11-18-2018, 06:30 PM #10
Betty_Banana's Avatar
Betty_Banana Betty_Banana is offline
Veteran Member
 
Member Since: Oct 2011
Location: USA
Posts: 544
Betty_Banana Betty_Banana is offline
Veteran Member
Betty_Banana's Avatar
Betty_Banana has no updates.
 
Member Since: Oct 2011
Location: USA
Posts: 544

5 yr Member
237 hugs
given
Default Re: Remembering the past me not

Quote:
Originally Posted by Amyjay View Post
Yes, exactly this! Once I knew those gaps in time were other parts of me that were acting without my control I felt so many, many emotions about it, none of them good. I felt betrayed by myself, embarrassed, ashamed, and so powerless. I also felt defenseless. When other people tell me I have done or said things I have absolutely no defense to offer them. I hate it so much.
Reading that gave me anxiety because I felt the same way.I would actually lose sleep from thinking about it.

I still feel all those things now after full integration.Just knowing that's what was going on with me my whole life without even having awareness of it is still pretty humiliating tbh.And it's still hard to wrap my head around at times.
Betty_Banana is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off



All times are GMT -5. The time now is 01:56 AM.

Powered by vBulletin® — Copyright © 2000 - 2019, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.



 

advertisement

Psych Central Forums

Psych Central is the leading mental health website, overseen by mental health professionals since 1995.

 

Helplines and Lifelines

The material on this site is for informational purposes only, and is not a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment provided by a qualified health care provider. .

Always consult your doctor or mental health professional before trying anything you read here.
Please read the full disclaimer.