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possum220
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Default Jan 19, 2019 at 07:54 PM
  #1
Does anybody else here go to group therapy? I have been going to a DBT group. At times I feel very triggered and have to stop the other voices from coming out. Sometimes I need to leave the room. I dont wan't to scare others and neither do I want to embarrass myself.

How do other people manage?
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Default Jan 20, 2019 at 10:34 AM
  #2
I tried DBT twice, and since it was a group of borderlines that wanted to only talk about themselves in a very emotional borderline fashion... dp/dr set in and switches happened a few times so much it was over as fast as it started.

I just crawled in and said nothing to the entire group.

Besides...I hate groups and fear all the sets of eyeballs focused on me and the jarble that I know is coming out of my mouth.
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Default Jan 20, 2019 at 11:15 AM
  #3
I'm so sorry, possum220 Perhaps group therapy just isn't the right approach for you? After all, it doesn't work for everyone. Different methods work for different people. Have you already tried individual therapy? Maybe that could help. Perhaps you could try to talk privately to your therapist and talk to him about this. I don't know if it is possible, but if you can, I think it's worth trying. I hope you'll be able to find the right method for yourself. Don't give up! Keep looking. I hope you'll feel better soon. Wish you good luck! Let us know how it goes. Sending many hugs to you
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Default Jan 20, 2019 at 12:06 PM
  #4
I was worried about this too right after I received my diagnosis of DID. I told my therapist I had then. their reply was spot on for me... I was told ....

getting the diagnosis doesnt change anything. it just puts a name on what has already been happening. That mean every time I participated in any group activities.....

example being in a school classroom is being in a group of people, going outside on the playground is being in a group of people, participating in sports or other school events is being in groups, going shopping is being in groups of people, ....groups are not just for therapy, every day life is full of having to participate in groups. And every day life is full of triggers...

then the therapist had me look back in my journals and calendar for the past month and count all the different group settings I have been in and have participated in...and whether I was so triggered during those events that I dissociated and my alters said or did something. then look back on my whole life time since before I was 5 and see how what I was afraid of was and has been happening all my life time and for me that was my normal.

No one in those events and situations in my whole life time of being DID suddenly got scared of me, showed any fear of me and I was never embarrassed because of what was my life time of what was my normal.

Heck I made it all the way to my twenties and even then no one would have been the wiser if I hadnt taken that class that required the students to take a psych eval and attend therapy for one semester to show the students not only what it was like to be a treatment provider and a client.

in all that lifetime of alters taking control, saying and doing what was their sense of agency no one knew it wasnt me, no one was afraid / scared or reacted with any fear of me, and I was never embarrassed, ..... because that was my normal.

after that I went to the groups and lived my life just like I had before I got the diagnosis, just like I normally would have. I went to my yoga groups, my swim groups, my DBT/CBT/PTSD and other therapy groups, my church groups, I went to parties, and broadway shows, work related events.....

my suggestion is look back on your posts here on psych central, notice all the different things you have done in your life since joining psych central. Did having DID, the alters taking control, doing and saying their sense of agency prevent you from participating in your life time of events and being in group settings.

then look back on your whole life time from before you were 5 on to the present....did having alters take control doing and saying their sense of agency prevent you from going to school, joining in on school events, sports/ chorus, band what ever was happening with your school events... did and does having DID prevent you from going to family functions, work, grocery and other shopping, planning for holidays, church, church and church events and well you get the picture... in every day life there are many "groups" and group settings that we are apart of / attend or encounter just by living out lives.... in all those life time things did any one actually shrink back in fear of you just because you dissociated and said something funny or obnoxious or off track of the discussion.....

taking a guess here when you look at your life time of being DID you may see many, so many you probably cant count when you have had to be in group settings and groups of people and no one reacted in fear of you,

I really think you can relax, and be your self in the DBT group and if you still have this worry talk with your treatment provider, they can help you set up plans that will work for you.
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Default Jan 20, 2019 at 01:29 PM
  #5
I was in group therapy many years ago,back before I ever knew I had DID and it went ok,nobody said I acted weird or strange or anything.I'm sure if I had been in group after being diagnosed it would have been much different because I would have been self conscious,worried about switching,etc.But really,it would have been the same as before the diagnosis,with nobody knowing what was going on inside of me.The only difference would have been that I knew I had DID.

Could it be that since you know you have DID you're worrying unnecessarily? Even if you do switch do you think anyone in group would know what's going on?
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Default Jan 20, 2019 at 10:06 PM
  #6
Quote:
Originally Posted by AlwaysChanging2 View Post
I tried DBT twice, and since it was a group of borderlines that wanted to only talk about themselves in a very emotional borderline fashion...
It's like I am going to the group you left in regard to this scenario.

I spoke with my p'doc last week and he said I didn't have to go any more if I didn't want to. I don't mind when the voices come out in a one to one with my p'doc. I know he is used to it. Or with people I know but strangers not so much.

When I switch my voice/thoughts change. Some of the voices are very loud when they come out of my mouth. I know it is noticeable. When I mentioned my struggle last time I was in this group I saw the look on one ladies face. She looked scared.

Maybe it is time to stop going. Two years on a weekly basis and then on year on a fortnightly basis is maybe enough.
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Default Jan 20, 2019 at 11:18 PM
  #7
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Originally Posted by possum220 View Post
It's like I am going to the group you left in regard to this scenario.

I spoke with my p'doc last week and he said I didn't have to go any more if I didn't want to. I don't mind when the voices come out in a one to one with my p'doc. I know he is used to it. Or with people I know but strangers not so much.

When I switch my voice/thoughts change. Some of the voices are very loud when they come out of my mouth. I know it is noticeable. When I mentioned my struggle last time I was in this group I saw the look on one ladies face. She looked scared.

Maybe it is time to stop going. Two years on a weekly basis and then on year on a fortnightly basis is maybe enough.

I can tell that the therapeutic value just didn’t apply to my situation and world living process. Just being in a group causes me to segregate and be apart.

Just me...so take it as a salt value.
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Default Jan 21, 2019 at 03:14 AM
  #8
Quote:
Originally Posted by amandalouise View Post
I was worried about this too right after I received my diagnosis of DID. I told my therapist I had then. their reply was spot on for me... I was told ....

getting the diagnosis doesnt change anything. it just puts a name on what has already been happening. That mean every time I participated in any group activities.....

example being in a school classroom is being in a group of people, going outside on the playground is being in a group of people, participating in sports or other school events is being in groups, going shopping is being in groups of people, ....groups are not just for therapy, every day life is full of having to participate in groups. And every day life is full of triggers...

then the therapist had me look back in my journals and calendar for the past month and count all the different group settings I have been in and have participated in...and whether I was so triggered during those events that I dissociated and my alters said or did something. then look back on my whole life time since before I was 5 and see how what I was afraid of was and has been happening all my life time and for me that was my normal.

No one in those events and situations in my whole life time of being DID suddenly got scared of me, showed any fear of me and I was never embarrassed because of what was my life time of what was my normal.

Heck I made it all the way to my twenties and even then no one would have been the wiser if I hadnt taken that class that required the students to take a psych eval and attend therapy for one semester to show the students not only what it was like to be a treatment provider and a client.

in all that lifetime of alters taking control, saying and doing what was their sense of agency no one knew it wasnt me, no one was afraid / scared or reacted with any fear of me, and I was never embarrassed, ..... because that was my normal.

after that I went to the groups and lived my life just like I had before I got the diagnosis, just like I normally would have. I went to my yoga groups, my swim groups, my DBT/CBT/PTSD and other therapy groups, my church groups, I went to parties, and broadway shows, work related events.....

my suggestion is look back on your posts here on psych central, notice all the different things you have done in your life since joining psych central. Did having DID, the alters taking control, doing and saying their sense of agency prevent you from participating in your life time of events and being in group settings.

then look back on your whole life time from before you were 5 on to the present....did having alters take control doing and saying their sense of agency prevent you from going to school, joining in on school events, sports/ chorus, band what ever was happening with your school events... did and does having DID prevent you from going to family functions, work, grocery and other shopping, planning for holidays, church, church and church events and well you get the picture... in every day life there are many "groups" and group settings that we are apart of / attend or encounter just by living out lives.... in all those life time things did any one actually shrink back in fear of you just because you dissociated and said something funny or obnoxious or off track of the discussion.....

taking a guess here when you look at your life time of being DID you may see many, so many you probably cant count when you have had to be in group settings and groups of people and no one reacted in fear of you,

I really think you can relax, and be your self in the DBT group and if you still have this worry talk with your treatment provider, they can help you set up plans that will work for you.

I have never been a social butterfly. Hated school and being forced to be with others. Pretty much isolated most of my life. Fear has been or is a major controller. I always knew something wasn't right but never talked about it. I did go to church, kind of an outsider, shy. When the others showed up they decided I was possessed. No mention of mental illness. Years of exorcisms did me no favours and did more harm than good. I felt like some freak. People did things and said things. According to them I was not normal. Back then there was only the church. Haven't been to church for nearly twenty years.

Some of those with DID are high functioning. I have not been able to work for the 20 years. My life is small. I have started to go to a craft group and there are no triggers there. If I sense that things are going to shift I hide away so that others wont see. DBT has triggers in it. I want to have control of my behaviour. If I go to a supermarket I figure that strangers can come to their own conclusions as they don't know what my normal is.

When I see my p'doc I will often leave his office with a different voice than I went in with. The receptionists don't bat an eyelid. My sister and her husband and my brother have seen changes. They don't say anything. Like others here I could go on.


I suppose the bottom line is that I am ashamed of what happens. Acceptance? Maybe not.
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