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Grand Poohbah
Member Since Mar 2018
Location: USA
Posts: 1,740
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#1
Dissociation in therapy is getting worse. It is starting happen more frequently and my t has to bring me back. So she talked to the protector and told them thanks for keeping me safe, asked them some questions. Then asked me what I was afraid of. Said that the goal would be integration. Talked about what that means and I dont want to integrate. I feel like if I have alters they are there for a reason. Why get rid of them?
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MickeyCheeky
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MickeyCheeky
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Wise Elder
Member Since Mar 2009
Location: 8CS / NYS / USA
Posts: 9,142
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#2
Quote:
example rainy was my alter than handled rain storms. with her separate from me I was afraid of storms. when she was combined together with me I know everything she knew, I could now do everything she could do. everything she was is still here just not in a dissociated way now. |
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Betty_Banana
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Magnate
Member Since Mar 2017
Location: Underground
Posts: 2,439
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#3
You really don't have to worry about integration right now. Just deal with the things that are happening for you now. You have enough to focus on there already.
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MickeyCheeky
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MickeyCheeky
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Feb 2016
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 4,457
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#4
This is just my thoughts.
All of our parts have been created and exist for a reason, whether it was for then or for now. They do their job as long as they are needed to do THAT job; the job they were created or needed for. For me, my work has been to help parts come into this present place and what their gifts are to me now. I’ve realized that some parts are still in the past and doing a job that I can do myself now. I’ve tried to encourage those parts to find a purpose that helps us in the now. I hope that makes sense and relates to what you were saying. __________________ "What is denied, cannot be healed." - Brennan Manning "Hope knows that if great trials are avoided, great deeds remain undone and the possibility of growth into greatness of soul is aborted." - Brennan Manning |
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FearLess47, MickeyCheeky
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FearLess47, MickeyCheeky, Rive1976
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Legendary
Member Since Jun 2016
Location: Italy
Posts: 11,817
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#5
I'm so sorry you're hurting so much, Dnester I'm not an expert, but I don't believe those parts of you are actually going to disappear as you may think. They're just going to reunite into one whole person. They're still going to be a part of you, they just won't be broken up into several different alters. I hope that makes you feel a little better. That's just my opinion though. I may be completely wrong. I hope other people here on PC who are much more knowledgeable than me will be able to help you. Please don't be scared about it. Take all the time you need. Take it one step at the time. Take baby steps. I'm sure you'll be able to get through all of this. Just try to do your best. That's all you can do after all. You can do this! You're strong, I know that. I believe in you. You're a strong, wonderful person. Please don't give up. Try to hang on. Remember that we're here for you if you need it. Feel free to PM me anytime. Let me know if I can do something to help you. Wish you good luck! Let us know how it goes. I'm so sorry you have to deal with all of this, Dnester. You don't deserve to suffer at all
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Rive1976
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New Member
Member Since May 2019
Location: Canada
Posts: 6
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#6
I think you need to process all your trauma before the integration happens. I wouldn't discount integration as it would help with the distress and problems with DID. You carry some dangerous ideas in my opinion about integration.
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Veteran Member
Member Since Jan 2019
Location: Pittsburgh
Posts: 570
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#7
I've been integrated for 5 years. It was a completely organic and natural process. We decided as a group we were ready. There had been years of consolidation ahead of the actual integration. I still have trauma to work through. Getting everyone's memories, even when you are ready to do so, still means trauma work. You just get through it with so many more internal reserves. There is strength in unity. Aside from the adjustment period after the integration, I don't for a moment regret integrating. Continuous memory is a miracle.
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Grand Poohbah
Member Since May 2017
Location: USA
Posts: 1,734
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#8
I don't think I'd ever say "the goal is integration."
Integration is a potential result of processing trauma and learning to work and communicate well with Parts. It might happen, it might not, and if it does, it won't be terrifying & it won't be against anyone's will. That's been my experience at least. |
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FearLess47
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Veteran Member
Member Since Jan 2019
Location: Pittsburgh
Posts: 570
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#9
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FearLess47
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FearLess47
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Magnate
Member Since Mar 2017
Location: Underground
Posts: 2,439
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#10
Just chucking my thoughts into the mix here...
I find the idea of integration much less frightening when I think of it simply as the dissolution of dissociation. Not a single thing is lost other than the dissociative barriers between all the parts. No-one gets killed off (it's impossible). No-one leaves (also impossible). Its just that the barriers between everyone come down and you are all there together, experiencing all the things together. That's what I imagine and hope for, anyway! |
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Member
Member Since Apr 2019
Location: U.S.
Posts: 219
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#11
Quote:
__________________ alone in a crowded room |
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Grand Poohbah
Member Since Mar 2018
Location: USA
Posts: 1,740
6 144 hugs
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#12
Im afraid if I integrated one I would not be able to keep that bad part from doing bad things.
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Magnate
Member Since Mar 2017
Location: Underground
Posts: 2,439
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#13
Quote:
I find it much harder when certain alters operate outside of my awareness, Once we begin to communicate and understand each other (that is, move closer, which is moving towards integration) it is much easier to have control over our total being rather than harder. |
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FearLess47, Rive1976
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