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Rive1976
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Trig Mar 13, 2019 at 07:43 PM
  #1
Dissociation in therapy is getting worse. It is starting happen more frequently and my t has to bring me back. So she talked to the protector and told them thanks for keeping me safe, asked them some questions. Then asked me what I was afraid of. Said that the goal would be integration. Talked about what that means and I dont want to integrate. I feel like if I have alters they are there for a reason. Why get rid of them?
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Default Mar 13, 2019 at 07:58 PM
  #2
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Originally Posted by Dnester View Post
Dissociation in therapy is getting worse. It is starting happen more frequently and my t has to bring me back. So she talked to the protector and told them thanks for keeping me safe, asked them some questions. Then asked me what I was afraid of. Said that the goal would be integration. Talked about what that means and I dont want to integrate. I feel like if I have alters they are there for a reason. Why get rid of them?
integration isnt getting rid of them. its combining together.

example rainy was my alter than handled rain storms. with her separate from me I was afraid of storms. when she was combined together with me I know everything she knew, I could now do everything she could do.

everything she was is still here just not in a dissociated way now.
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Default Mar 13, 2019 at 10:55 PM
  #3
You really don't have to worry about integration right now. Just deal with the things that are happening for you now. You have enough to focus on there already.
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Default Mar 13, 2019 at 11:16 PM
  #4
This is just my thoughts.

All of our parts have been created and exist for a reason, whether it was for then or for now. They do their job as long as they are needed to do THAT job; the job they were created or needed for.

For me, my work has been to help parts come into this present place and what their gifts are to me now.

I’ve realized that some parts are still in the past and doing a job that I can do myself now. I’ve tried to encourage those parts to find a purpose that helps us in the now.

I hope that makes sense and relates to what you were saying.

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Default Mar 14, 2019 at 11:18 AM
  #5
I'm so sorry you're hurting so much, Dnester I'm not an expert, but I don't believe those parts of you are actually going to disappear as you may think. They're just going to reunite into one whole person. They're still going to be a part of you, they just won't be broken up into several different alters. I hope that makes you feel a little better. That's just my opinion though. I may be completely wrong. I hope other people here on PC who are much more knowledgeable than me will be able to help you. Please don't be scared about it. Take all the time you need. Take it one step at the time. Take baby steps. I'm sure you'll be able to get through all of this. Just try to do your best. That's all you can do after all. You can do this! You're strong, I know that. I believe in you. You're a strong, wonderful person. Please don't give up. Try to hang on. Remember that we're here for you if you need it. Feel free to PM me anytime. Let me know if I can do something to help you. Wish you good luck! Let us know how it goes. I'm so sorry you have to deal with all of this, Dnester. You don't deserve to suffer at all
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Default May 02, 2019 at 01:41 PM
  #6
I think you need to process all your trauma before the integration happens. I wouldn't discount integration as it would help with the distress and problems with DID. You carry some dangerous ideas in my opinion about integration.
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Default May 08, 2019 at 02:37 AM
  #7
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I think you need to process all your trauma before the integration happens. I wouldn't discount integration as it would help with the distress and problems with DID. You carry some dangerous ideas in my opinion about integration.
I've been integrated for 5 years. It was a completely organic and natural process. We decided as a group we were ready. There had been years of consolidation ahead of the actual integration. I still have trauma to work through. Getting everyone's memories, even when you are ready to do so, still means trauma work. You just get through it with so many more internal reserves. There is strength in unity. Aside from the adjustment period after the integration, I don't for a moment regret integrating. Continuous memory is a miracle.
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toomanycats
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Default May 08, 2019 at 08:08 AM
  #8
I don't think I'd ever say "the goal is integration."
Integration is a potential result of processing trauma and learning to work and communicate well with Parts. It might happen, it might not, and if it does, it won't be terrifying & it won't be against anyone's will. That's been my experience at least.
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Default May 08, 2019 at 02:29 PM
  #9
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I don't think I'd ever say "the goal is integration."
Integration is a potential result of processing trauma and learning to work and communicate well with Parts. It might happen, it might not, and if it does, it won't be terrifying & it won't be against anyone's will. That's been my experience at least.
You can't force integration. It is an evolutionary process. Not scary at all when it happens naturally. It's a kind of rebirth. You learn to know who you are on a completely different level.
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Default May 09, 2019 at 05:23 AM
  #10
Just chucking my thoughts into the mix here...

I find the idea of integration much less frightening when I think of it simply as the dissolution of dissociation. Not a single thing is lost other than the dissociative barriers between all the parts. No-one gets killed off (it's impossible). No-one leaves (also impossible). Its just that the barriers between everyone come down and you are all there together, experiencing all the things together.
That's what I imagine and hope for, anyway!
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Default May 09, 2019 at 08:07 PM
  #11
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Originally Posted by Amyjay View Post
Just chucking my thoughts into the mix here...

I find the idea of integration much less frightening when I think of it simply as the dissolution of dissociation. Not a single thing is lost other than the dissociative barriers between all the parts. No-one gets killed off (it's impossible). No-one leaves (also impossible). Its just that the barriers between everyone come down and you are all there together, experiencing all the things together.
That's what I imagine and hope for, anyway!
Me too, @Amyjay!

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Default May 12, 2019 at 05:05 PM
  #12
Im afraid if I integrated one I would not be able to keep that bad part from doing bad things.
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Default May 13, 2019 at 01:02 AM
  #13
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Originally Posted by Dnester View Post
Im afraid if I integrated one I would not be able to keep that bad part from doing bad things.
If it was integrated it would be you, so you could choose how you act for yourself.
I find it much harder when certain alters operate outside of my awareness, Once we begin to communicate and understand each other (that is, move closer, which is moving towards integration) it is much easier to have control over our total being rather than harder.
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