Threat Alarms

MtnTime2896 · Mar 25, 2019 at 10:25 AM

(Could trigger? Just be safe.)

We had a friend over past night. He needed a place to crash. I've never really been under the impression that he's even slightly a real danger, but the threat alarms never quiet. It doesn't matter that I'm a man (granted the body isn't), I couldn't sleep at all with him in the next room. I couldn't allow the body to stay asleep. He's still here, but leaving soon, and he really does seem like an alright guy. I just can't put my guard down. Will I always be like this?

-A

amandalouise · Mar 25, 2019 at 12:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Só leigheas

(Could trigger? Just be safe.)

We had a friend over past night. He needed a place to crash. I've never really been under the impression that he's even slightly a real danger, but the threat alarms never quiet. It doesn't matter that I'm a man (granted the body isn't), I couldn't sleep at all with him in the next room. I couldn't allow the body to stay asleep. He's still here, but leaving soon, and he really does seem like an alright guy. I just can't put my guard down. Will I always be like this?

-A

Im sorry but only you and your own treatment providers can say whether you will always be uncomfortable with over night guests.

for me I was never afraid of having over night guests, for me it gave me great comfort to have someone else around to help me get through the night.

my suggestion if this continues to bother you contact your treatment providers. they will be able to help you figure out whats what for you and make plans for if at some point in the future another friend or this one needs a place to stay how you can help your friend while at the same time honoring your own feelings.

one way someone I know handles this is they dont allow over night guests but they do have what they call a "guest fund" (money in a jar that they can pull out and pay for a few nights in a motel or hotel for their friends in need of a place. the few days worth isnt a perm. fix but it does give the one in need time they need to make their own arrangements.

Amyjay · Mar 25, 2019 at 12:55 PM

It depends if you do good therapy or not I think. At the moment in that situation I would respond similarly. But with therapy and widening the window of tolerance and using self compassion and communication etc I think it gets better. I am better than I was at threat-reactions, but still have a ways to go.

Apr 01, 2019 at 02:33 PM

In my experience, it changes. We've learned better how to identify safe & unsafe people. We ..rather recently!..learned to be ok with saying *no* just because we are uncomfortable. But we we aren't very trusting. Ah, an under statement! One person in the world we trust completely.

Calla lily12 · Apr 11, 2019 at 11:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Só leigheas

(Could trigger? Just be safe.)

We had a friend over past night. He needed a place to crash. I've never really been under the impression that he's even slightly a real danger, but the threat alarms never quiet. It doesn't matter that I'm a man (granted the body isn't), I couldn't sleep at all with him in the next room. I couldn't allow the body to stay asleep. He's still here, but leaving soon, and he really does seem like an alright guy. I just can't put my guard down. Will I always be like this?

-A

All you can do is trust your gut, Whatever you feel , you feel for a reason. Keep yourself safe and do what you need to do.

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Amyjay Magnate Member Since Mar 2017 Location: Underground Posts: 2,439 7 692 hugs given	Mar 25, 2019 at 12:55 PM #3 It depends if you do good therapy or not I think. At the moment in that situation I would respond similarly. But with therapy and widening the window of tolerance and using self compassion and communication etc I think it gets better. I am better than I was at threat-reactions, but still have a ways to go.
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Anonymous46969 Guest Posts: n/a	Apr 01, 2019 at 02:33 PM #4 In my experience, it changes. We've learned better how to identify safe & unsafe people. We ..rather recently!..learned to be ok with saying no just because we are uncomfortable. But we we aren't very trusting. Ah, an under statement! One person in the world we trust completely.
	Reply With Quote