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Chat Moderator
Member Since Feb 2016
Location: Doing donuts in the parking lot
Posts: 4,270
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#1
(Could trigger? Just be safe.)
We had a friend over past night. He needed a place to crash. I've never really been under the impression that he's even slightly a real danger, but the threat alarms never quiet. It doesn't matter that I'm a man (granted the body isn't), I couldn't sleep at all with him in the next room. I couldn't allow the body to stay asleep. He's still here, but leaving soon, and he really does seem like an alright guy. I just can't put my guard down. Will I always be like this? -A __________________ "Give him his freedom and he'll remember his humanity." |
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Fuzzybear, kecanoe, MickeyCheeky
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MickeyCheeky
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Wise Elder
Member Since Mar 2009
Location: 8CS / NYS / USA
Posts: 9,142
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#2
Quote:
for me I was never afraid of having over night guests, for me it gave me great comfort to have someone else around to help me get through the night. my suggestion if this continues to bother you contact your treatment providers. they will be able to help you figure out whats what for you and make plans for if at some point in the future another friend or this one needs a place to stay how you can help your friend while at the same time honoring your own feelings. one way someone I know handles this is they dont allow over night guests but they do have what they call a "guest fund" (money in a jar that they can pull out and pay for a few nights in a motel or hotel for their friends in need of a place. the few days worth isnt a perm. fix but it does give the one in need time they need to make their own arrangements. |
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MickeyCheeky, MtnTime2896
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MickeyCheeky, MtnTime2896
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Magnate
Member Since Mar 2017
Location: Underground
Posts: 2,439
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#3
It depends if you do good therapy or not I think. At the moment in that situation I would respond similarly. But with therapy and widening the window of tolerance and using self compassion and communication etc I think it gets better. I am better than I was at threat-reactions, but still have a ways to go.
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MickeyCheeky, MtnTime2896
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MickeyCheeky, MtnTime2896
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Guest
Posts: n/a
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#4
In my experience, it changes. We've learned better how to identify safe & unsafe people. We ..rather recently!..learned to be ok with saying *no* just because we are uncomfortable. But we we aren't very trusting. Ah, an under statement! One person in the world we trust completely.
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MickeyCheeky, MtnTime2896
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MickeyCheeky, MtnTime2896
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Grand Member
Member Since Jul 2018
Location: a place far away
Posts: 830
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#5
Quote:
__________________ Once you are real, you can't become unreal again. It lasts for always.... |
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MtnTime2896
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MtnTime2896
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