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Old 04-12-2019, 10:41 AM #1
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Default My friend

I have an online friend who I trust...

I also trust some other friends but they donít know me as well as Friend1 does ...

Iíve known this friend for about 11 years.

They arenít a therapist. But they are more understanding of me than any therapist Iíve spoken to irl in more than a decade.

I donít tell them every single thing about me. There is one topic .. not related to dissociation.. I sense they donít want to talk about much. It isnít a topic I think I need to talk about much and if I did I could talk to a therapist or counsellor.

Has anyone found person centred therapy helpful?

How long has it taken for you and your different parts to trust a therapist?
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Old 04-12-2019, 11:18 AM #2
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Default Re: My friend

Quote:
Originally Posted by Fuzzybear View Post
I have an online friend who I trust...

I also trust some other friends but they donít know me as well as Friend1 does ...

Iíve known this friend for about 11 years.

They arenít a therapist. But they are more understanding of me than any therapist Iíve spoken to irl in more than a decade.

I donít tell them every single thing about me. There is one topic .. not related to dissociation.. I sense they donít want to talk about much. It isnít a topic I think I need to talk about much and if I did I could talk to a therapist or counsellor.

Has anyone found person centred therapy helpful?

How long has it taken for you and your different parts to trust a therapist?
yes I have been to therapists who sit and listen and do the mmmmm, yes,, mmmm I see, and then? that must have felt... and me do all the talking, they are just agreeing and mirroring back to me what I said I have felt and thought ... having me be the one to bring up topics and lead the way...

its had its pros and cons with me but I prefer a more equal partnership from my therapists. I find when the therapist is just there to agree, mmmmm and so on gets very boring and I run out of things to say. eventually it ends up being something like hey this or that then oh yea already told you that, and did I tell you this ...oh I did didnt I, then it ends up with therapist and I just sitting there my having to pay hundreds of bucks for looking around the room because this kind of therapy approach doesnt allow a therapist to bring up topics, basics of this is the old therapy from the 1940's lay on the couch kind of stuff is what it reminds me of.

I prefer when a therapist actually does tell me what they think about what I am talking about not just do the agree with me thing. if I wanted someone to just agree with me and mirror back to me my words and feelings and postures I could do that for free in a mirror at home. I like it when my therapist is honest with me, not afraid to bring up topics for discussion or ask me questions that make me think beyond what I am telling them. example if Im upset I want to know why Im up set by working together not just be told that must have been upsetting to you.

Im glad its working for you though.

if you mean person centered therapy in the way of talking with a friend no. I dont allow my friends to become my treatment providers. I see too many ways that can go wrong and make the friend feel used and abused their self. actual treatment providers have been trained in how to not let listening and helping clients hurt them emotionally and physically.

example I wouldnt call a friend and unload on them and expect them to be able to hang up the phone and be perfectly fine and not have my issues bring them down. but with a treatment provider I know that no matter what I tell them, they are not going to end up having my problems impact their self and life. also with a treatment provider I dont have to worry about hiding anything from them to save their feelings and such.
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