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Member
Member Since Apr 2019
Location: U.S.
Posts: 219
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#1
I've been working with the same T for 4 years and things have only just recently started to "get real." I broke. I broke broke. My masks came tumbling down and there was no super glue left.. And the weeping dissociated mess she saw on her couch made my T seek additional education on dissociation, where she met someone who she thought might be a good fit for me.
Current T has referred me to a new therapist (who I will see in addition to her) who specializes in complex PTSD, trauma, EMDR, dissociation and DID. I just had a phone consultation with her, and we made a first appointment next week. I am excited. And I am nervous. And I only joined this forum a couple of days ago. But you guys have already given me hope and strength to go chin up and eyes open into this next chapter. So thank you. I am also in physical therapy healing from a spinal fusion, and my physical therapist has been very instrumental in getting me to this point. Another big deal. Where I am starting to be honest and allow the scary fear and desire to hide to just be. I mentioned to her that I am a "crazy puzzle" and she said, "Let's reframe that. What if, instead of a puzzle, you are a colorful mosaic? And this is just putting the colors together to create some unique art?" Mosaic building, FearLess47 |
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Betty_Banana, hope2010
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Amyjay
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Magnate
Member Since Mar 2017
Location: Underground
Posts: 2,439
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#2
That's awesome. A trauma /EMDR therapist with DID experience can make a huge difference. The T I see now has been the most effective one I have ever had. That's not to say I did not learn really important things from my other therapists. But I feel like the others prepared me for the work I need to do now with trauma/EMDR T. Its awesome that you are able to continue to see your regular T too.
Let us know how it goes! |
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FearLess47
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FearLess47
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Member
Member Since Apr 2019
Location: U.S.
Posts: 219
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#3
I will! I've had many therapists and psychs since age 15...so it is one of those things where I dread the "starting over" but in a more important it is like starting for a specific goal/purpose. I asked at the end of our phone call if she had experience with DID. She said basically dissociative disorders and trauma are her speciality.
First things first...got to see if I am fusing in my spine tomorrow. Agh. |
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hope2010
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Magnate
Member Since Mar 2017
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#4
Ouch... it sounds like you have a lot on your plate. Good luck for tomorrow.
You can't get much better than a therapist who chooses to specialize in trauma and dissociation. Especially when you get to stay with your established T as well. |
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Member
Member Since Apr 2019
Location: U.S.
Posts: 219
5 267 hugs
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#5
Quote:
I will also be seeing a new psych MD at the end of this month for a comprehensive evaluation of the medications I have been on, diagnosis, etc. So, lots of newness. Lots of unknowns. But I feel hope. FearLess47 |
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Amyjay
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Magnate
Member Since Mar 2017
Location: Underground
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#6
I eventually want to do EMDR trauma processing with my T too but she is taking it v-e-r-y slowly. For now we only use EMDR techniques for resource building and establishing stronger connections between alters. It works better for us than anything else we have tried. With processing we seem to make rapid progress that "sticks".
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Member
Member Since Apr 2019
Location: U.S.
Posts: 219
5 267 hugs
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#7
So good to hear. And I love that your T takes it slow. I have tried EMDR in the past but didn't understand the purpose. It was way too scary and re-traumatizing for me at the time.(7 years ago.) So I am looking forward to giving it another shot.
FL47 |
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Member
Member Since Apr 2019
Location: U.S.
Posts: 219
5 267 hugs
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#8
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Oh man. Scary. Nerve racking. But amazing. So different than what I have experienced in the past. I felt seen. Maybe it is just because I am somewhat ready to be seen. I have to allow it so save my own self. It will be a long road. But I feel hopeful. In 2012 I feel like I was somewhat thrown into the deep end with my first EMDR therapist. I didn't know how to say no. I didn't understand how much I dissociated allllllll my life. And I also felt so afraid of EMDR. In some ways it was just as traumatizing as other icky things in life. New T said we are not even going to contemplate EMDR or any other somatic type of stuff until we have gotten to know each other a little bit, and that I feel safe enough to move into the deeper end. Thanks for being here. FearLess47 |
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Amyjay
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amandalouise, Amyjay
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Magnate
Member Since Mar 2017
Location: Underground
Posts: 2,439
7 692 hugs
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#9
That's awesome! Slowly does it for sure... I've been over 18 months with this trauma therapist and she says we are still nowhere near ready to start trauma processing yet. I am eager, but it's a no-go still. In my experience seeing a therapist who is properly trained in trauma treatment and very experienced with dissociative disorders is a game-changer. For me it felt like this is when the "real work" started. However, I never would have been ready to do the work that needs doing without all the therapy I have had before.
How often will you see her? |
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Member
Member Since Apr 2019
Location: U.S.
Posts: 219
5 267 hugs
given |
#10
Quote:
I have the additional challenge of chronic pain and am recovering from spine surgery #4...so I also see an osteopathic physical therapist and my surgeon. For once, though, it feels like a collaboration. I know this will be important as I start to discuss the DID...I have been in a battle with myself for so long, trying to run from me. It is a relief to even imagine the possibility of healing. FearLess47 |
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