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Old 04-16-2019, 04:20 PM #1
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Heart New trauma therapist

I've been working with the same T for 4 years and things have only just recently started to "get real." I broke. I broke broke. My masks came tumbling down and there was no super glue left.. And the weeping dissociated mess she saw on her couch made my T seek additional education on dissociation, where she met someone who she thought might be a good fit for me.

Current T has referred me to a new therapist (who I will see in addition to her) who specializes in complex PTSD, trauma, EMDR, dissociation and DID. I just had a phone consultation with her, and we made a first appointment next week.

I am excited. And I am nervous. And I only joined this forum a couple of days ago. But you guys have already given me hope and strength to go chin up and eyes open into this next chapter.

So thank you. I am also in physical therapy healing from a spinal fusion, and my physical therapist has been very instrumental in getting me to this point. Another big deal. Where I am starting to be honest and allow the scary fear and desire to hide to just be. I mentioned to her that I am a "crazy puzzle" and she said, "Let's reframe that. What if, instead of a puzzle, you are a colorful mosaic? And this is just putting the colors together to create some unique art?"

Mosaic building,
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Old 04-16-2019, 06:24 PM #2
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That's awesome. A trauma /EMDR therapist with DID experience can make a huge difference. The T I see now has been the most effective one I have ever had. That's not to say I did not learn really important things from my other therapists. But I feel like the others prepared me for the work I need to do now with trauma/EMDR T. Its awesome that you are able to continue to see your regular T too.

Let us know how it goes!
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Old 04-16-2019, 07:10 PM #3
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I will! I've had many therapists and psychs since age 15...so it is one of those things where I dread the "starting over" but in a more important it is like starting for a specific goal/purpose. I asked at the end of our phone call if she had experience with DID. She said basically dissociative disorders and trauma are her speciality.

First things first...got to see if I am fusing in my spine tomorrow. Agh.
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Old 04-16-2019, 09:03 PM #4
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Default Re: New trauma therapist

Ouch... it sounds like you have a lot on your plate. Good luck for tomorrow.

You can't get much better than a therapist who chooses to specialize in trauma and dissociation. Especially when you get to stay with your established T as well.
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Old 04-16-2019, 09:14 PM #5
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Originally Posted by Amyjay View Post
Ouch... it sounds like you have a lot on your plate. Good luck for tomorrow.

You can't get much better than a therapist who chooses to specialize in trauma and dissociation. Especially when you get to stay with your established T as well.
Yes, I am quite lucky and now at least I can re-try EMDR and other somatic methods with less fear of freaking my therapist out. Ever the caretaker...

I will also be seeing a new psych MD at the end of this month for a comprehensive evaluation of the medications I have been on, diagnosis, etc.

So, lots of newness. Lots of unknowns. But I feel hope.

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Old 04-16-2019, 09:23 PM #6
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Default Re: New trauma therapist

I eventually want to do EMDR trauma processing with my T too but she is taking it v-e-r-y slowly. For now we only use EMDR techniques for resource building and establishing stronger connections between alters. It works better for us than anything else we have tried. With processing we seem to make rapid progress that "sticks".
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Old 04-16-2019, 11:25 PM #7
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So good to hear. And I love that your T takes it slow. I have tried EMDR in the past but didn't understand the purpose. It was way too scary and re-traumatizing for me at the time.(7 years ago.) So I am looking forward to giving it another shot.

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Old 04-23-2019, 07:19 PM #8
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Amyjay View Post
That's awesome. A trauma /EMDR therapist with DID experience can make a huge difference. The T I see now has been the most effective one I have ever had. That's not to say I did not learn really important things from my other therapists. But I feel like the others prepared me for the work I need to do now with trauma/EMDR T. Its awesome that you are able to continue to see your regular T too.

Let us know how it goes!
For amyjay and anyone else interested in how my first visit with the new trauma therapist went....

Oh man. Scary. Nerve racking. But amazing. So different than what I have experienced in the past. I felt seen. Maybe it is just because I am somewhat ready to be seen. I have to allow it so save my own self. It will be a long road. But I feel hopeful.

In 2012 I feel like I was somewhat thrown into the deep end with my first EMDR therapist. I didn't know how to say no. I didn't understand how much I dissociated allllllll my life. And I also felt so afraid of EMDR. In some ways it was just as traumatizing as other icky things in life.

New T said we are not even going to contemplate EMDR or any other somatic type of stuff until we have gotten to know each other a little bit, and that I feel safe enough to move into the deeper end.

Thanks for being here.

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Old 04-23-2019, 08:31 PM #9
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Default Re: New trauma therapist

That's awesome! Slowly does it for sure... I've been over 18 months with this trauma therapist and she says we are still nowhere near ready to start trauma processing yet. I am eager, but it's a no-go still. In my experience seeing a therapist who is properly trained in trauma treatment and very experienced with dissociative disorders is a game-changer. For me it felt like this is when the "real work" started. However, I never would have been ready to do the work that needs doing without all the therapy I have had before.
How often will you see her?
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Old 04-23-2019, 08:41 PM #10
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Default Re: New trauma therapist

Quote:
Originally Posted by Amyjay View Post
That's awesome! Slowly does it for sure... I've been over 18 months with this trauma therapist and she says we are still nowhere near ready to start trauma processing yet. I am eager, but it's a no-go still. In my experience seeing a therapist who is properly trained in trauma treatment and very experienced with dissociative disorders is a game-changer. For me it felt like this is when the "real work" started. However, I never would have been ready to do the work that needs doing without all the therapy I have had before.
How often will you see her?
True. It is important to remember that none of it was a waste of time...and rather a stepping stone to today. I will see her weekly starting in May, and will likely not see my other therapist in the long run. I was wondering about this, and not sure how it would work to have both. I will see a new psychiatrist next week, to do a full assessment and review the medications I am on. I saw my primary care doctor yesterday and told him about all these changes. It is a lot of change, but I feel supported by a team.

I have the additional challenge of chronic pain and am recovering from spine surgery #4...so I also see an osteopathic physical therapist and my surgeon. For once, though, it feels like a collaboration.

I know this will be important as I start to discuss the DID...I have been in a battle with myself for so long, trying to run from me. It is a relief to even imagine the possibility of healing.


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