advertisement
Reply
Thread Tools Display Modes
Rive1976
Grand Poohbah
 
Rive1976's Avatar
Rive1976 has no updates.
 
Member Since: Mar 2018
Location: USA
Posts: 1,740
5 yr Member
144 hugs
given
Trig Apr 29, 2019 at 07:52 PM
  #1
*********Trigger Warning******( talk of religion, homicide, death) So I have been having some thoughts that Thorne ( a part of me that I named many years ago but first noticed when I was in my 20s) may be a demon. She seems to pop up at horrible times when people are talking about deadly fires, homicide, etc. She smiles and gets excited by these things and then I feel horrible for it. I am technically between therapists and have no priest to consult and they usually shy away from this stuff anyway. The reasons I think Thorne may be a demon is because she is evil, she makes me feel horrible about myself. I tried to cast her out but she wont go. This is the only advice my therapist had and it wadnt helpful in easing my anxiety because I definitely believe in demons. Here is our conversation.

Me:

Sorry to bother you again but I am having some major anxiety that Thorne may be a demon. I know that sounds teally strange but thats what I am dealing with right know and I am extremely anxious. I am have some thoughts about harming someone linked in with this all

Her: Notice where you are feeling this in your body - go to that place and breathe in thru that space. Notice: does it have a color, shape, size? What happens when I give calming, soothing strategies, peaceful thoughts to Thorne? Can she let go of harmful feelings?

Me: I just have alot of anxiety in my body. I have tried my grounding techniques. I took a nap, and a shower. I read this stuff a couple of weeks ago about demons and alters and I didnt dwell on it any. Then today something triggered me to remember that stuff and I started thinking about whst if Thorne is really a demon and then I started having some harm thoughts related to my dad and Thorne maybe being a demon and I am stuck here until tommorow. Last night I had another flashback and was able to breath with that and finally fell asleep. Nothing seems to be helping this.

Her: I do not happen to believe in demons. Until you become more confident in yourself and who you are I would suggest that you do not read such books or other similarly disturbing material.

I dont even know what she means by until I am more confident in yourself and who you are. I am scared.
Rive1976 is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
Anonymous43209

advertisement
amandalouise
Wise Elder
 
amandalouise's Avatar
amandalouise has no updates.
 
Member Since: Mar 2009
Location: 8CS / NYS / USA
Posts: 9,133
15 yr Member
884 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Apr 29, 2019 at 09:33 PM
  #2
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dnester View Post
*********Trigger Warning******( talk of religion, homicide, death) So I have been having some thoughts that Thorne ( a part of me that I named many years ago but first noticed when I was in my 20s) may be a demon. She seems to pop up at horrible times when people are talking about deadly fires, homicide, etc. She smiles and gets excited by these things and then I feel horrible for it. I am technically between therapists and have no priest to consult and they usually shy away from this stuff anyway. The reasons I think Thorne may be a demon is because she is evil, she makes me feel horrible about myself. I tried to cast her out but she wont go. This is the only advice my therapist had and it wadnt helpful in easing my anxiety because I definitely believe in demons. Here is our conversation.

Me:

Sorry to bother you again but I am having some major anxiety that Thorne may be a demon. I know that sounds teally strange but thats what I am dealing with right know and I am extremely anxious. I am have some thoughts about harming someone linked in with this all

Her: Notice where you are feeling this in your body - go to that place and breathe in thru that space. Notice: does it have a color, shape, size? What happens when I give calming, soothing strategies, peaceful thoughts to Thorne? Can she let go of harmful feelings?

Me: I just have alot of anxiety in my body. I have tried my grounding techniques. I took a nap, and a shower. I read this stuff a couple of weeks ago about demons and alters and I didnt dwell on it any. Then today something triggered me to remember that stuff and I started thinking about whst if Thorne is really a demon and then I started having some harm thoughts related to my dad and Thorne maybe being a demon and I am stuck here until tommorow. Last night I had another flashback and was able to breath with that and finally fell asleep. Nothing seems to be helping this.

Her: I do not happen to believe in demons. Until you become more confident in yourself and who you are I would suggest that you do not read such books or other similarly disturbing material.

I dont even know what she means by until I am more confident in yourself and who you are. I am scared.

only your own treatment provider can say what she means by until you are more confident in yourself and who you are you shouldnt be reading those kinds of books...

what I can tell you is that when I had a demon alter a few years ago it actually ruled out that it wasnt part of my having a past diagnosis of DID and present diagnosis of OSDD... because the diagnostics for dissociative disorders says the problems can .........not..........be part of religious practices (demons/ spirits and the like are part of religious practices)

my demon type alter was part of my psychosis symptoms not dissociative. adjusting my meds solved the problem.

my suggestion is contact your treatment provider and ask them what they meant about it in you.
amandalouise is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Amyjay
Magnate
Amyjay has no updates.
 
Member Since: Mar 2017
Location: Underground
Posts: 2,439
5 yr Member
692 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Apr 30, 2019 at 01:41 AM
  #3
I think she means that you might feel less anxious and distraught if you stop reading books about alters, DID, demons and all that kind of stuff, because right now they are really upsetting you and causing you problems. If you hadn't read that book you wouldn't be worrying about demons right now. When people are unsure of their own self and reality they can be very susceptible to outside influences, like - prime example - reading a book about demons and alters and then beginning to think you have demons and alters.
Sorting out your own truth is much harder when it becomes influenced by other people's experiences. It makes things messier and murkier rather than clearer.
Amyjay is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Thanks for this!
FearLess47
Rive1976
Grand Poohbah
 
Rive1976's Avatar
Rive1976 has no updates.
 
Member Since: Mar 2018
Location: USA
Posts: 1,740
5 yr Member
144 hugs
given
Default Apr 30, 2019 at 06:42 AM
  #4
I am worried about demons right know and dont know what to do because Thorne seems like a demon.
Rive1976 is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Amyjay
Magnate
Amyjay has no updates.
 
Member Since: Mar 2017
Location: Underground
Posts: 2,439
5 yr Member
692 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Apr 30, 2019 at 02:47 PM
  #5
Well, since Thorne has been with you for many years and you are still here you probably don't need to do anything right now except for work on grounding skills and calming your anxiety. Once you get with your new T you can begin to work on it. You can address your fears about it then.

I don't believe in demons personally, but if Thorne was a demon she has been a demon for many years, so nothing has really changed except for your thinking about it and being very anxious about it. So it is safe to "hang in there" until you meet with your new therapist, and just concentrate on calming your anxiety and staying grounded i nthe meantime.
Amyjay is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Thanks for this!
Rive1976
Rive1976
Grand Poohbah
 
Rive1976's Avatar
Rive1976 has no updates.
 
Member Since: Mar 2018
Location: USA
Posts: 1,740
5 yr Member
144 hugs
given
Default Apr 30, 2019 at 02:57 PM
  #6
Quote:
Originally Posted by Amyjay View Post
Well, since Thorne has been with you for many years and you are still here you probably don't need to do anything right now except for work on grounding skills and calming your anxiety. Once you get with your new T you can begin to work on it. You can address your fears about it then.

I don't believe in demons personally, but if Thorne was a demon she has been a demon for many years, so nothing has really changed except for your thinking about it and being very anxious about it. So it is safe to "hang in there" until you meet with your new therapist, and just concentrate on calming your anxiety and staying grounded i nthe meantime.
I see my new therapist tommorow so everybody send good thoughts for that please.
Rive1976 is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
Betty_Banana, FearLess47
Rive1976
Grand Poohbah
 
Rive1976's Avatar
Rive1976 has no updates.
 
Member Since: Mar 2018
Location: USA
Posts: 1,740
5 yr Member
144 hugs
given
Default May 02, 2019 at 01:45 PM
  #7
I saw her she suggested I buy her book on DID when I told her I think Thorne is a demon. She said it talks about spirituality. I read it as it is thin. It was a train wreck. She also suggested I see her twice a week for a internal session (parts work) and a external day ( everyday stressors) so I dont know how I feel about that other than her making money off me. My insurance pays it but still. Then she told me to take 2 online tests the 6 types of ADD test to see if that would hinder or work. She tells everyone to do this btw and a health test and bring back the results next week so if she needed to she could write my PCP a note to check for certain things in tests / bloodwork. I dont know what to think of her. We didnt talk alot about anything else because it was a intake session. Getting history etc.
Rive1976 is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
toomanycats
Grand Poohbah
toomanycats is taking it one day at a time
 
Member Since: May 2017
Location: USA
Posts: 1,734
5 yr Member
542 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default May 08, 2019 at 08:15 AM
  #8
So, I generally operate from the perspective that all Parts -- even ones that are suicidal or appear to be "evil" -- are there to protect the system. Suicidal parts, for instance, are trying to protect in the most ultimate way they know how: by literally ending everything... that is the ultimate protection.

Parts that appear "evil" are, I believe, still there trying to protect the system in some way. For instance, perhaps by embracing violence & disconnecting from empathy, they believe they are stronger and, thus, safer from other violent people.

Even parts that reenact trauma or cause physical harm tend to be doing it for some sort of protective reason -- either in an attempt to "undo" the trauma by reenacting it and bringing it to a different conclusion or by trying to take control of the trauma by owning it and making it their choice. Stuff like that.

I do not believe in demonic or evil Parts anymore -- I think your feelings towards this Part should be examined. Your view of it as evil is important -- it shows an area where you both could grow in communication with one another. Keeping in mind that this Part may actually WANT you to view it as evil, because being viewed as "evil" could make it feel strong, which makes it feel safer, which is, again, a form of protection.
toomanycats is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Thanks for this!
Rive1976
All times are GMT -5. The time now is 08:34 PM.
Powered by vBulletin® — Copyright © 2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.



 

My Support Forums

My Support Forums is the online community that was originally begun as the Psych Central Forums in 2001. It now runs as an independent self-help support group community for mental health, personality, and psychological issues and is overseen by a group of dedicated, caring volunteers from around the world.

 

Helplines and Lifelines

The material on this site is for informational purposes only, and is not a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment provided by a qualified health care provider.

Always consult your doctor or mental health professional before trying anything you read here.