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elevatedsoul
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Default May 19, 2019 at 11:36 PM
  #1
If there are things in front of me that i have all the information i need to have an understanding but not able to?

Such... feeling inside that there is an understanding but i cant pull it forward?

Like when you are trying to think of a word or name but unstable to recall asst that moment but you feel it inside and know you know but don't know?


You know?


Is this part of dissociation..?

Maybe my mind is locking itself up as a means of self preservation

Unlocking it may cause dramatic shifts and pain...

But that's ok right now, i just need to have a safe way to survive and start my life [even if im 29 years late getting it started]

I be scared really bad sometimes as my attempts seem to be futile

🤔

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Default May 20, 2019 at 12:59 AM
  #2
Quote:
Originally Posted by elevatedsoul View Post
If there are things in front of me that i have all the information i need to have an understanding but not able to?

Such... feeling inside that there is an understanding but i cant pull it forward?

Like when you are trying to think of a word or name but unstable to recall asst that moment but you feel it inside and know you know but don't know?


You know?


Is this part of dissociation..?

Maybe my mind is locking itself up as a means of self preservation

Unlocking it may cause dramatic shifts and pain...

But that's ok right now, i just need to have a safe way to survive and start my life [even if im 29 years late getting it started]

I be scared really bad sometimes as my attempts seem to be futile

🤔
here where I am dissociative confusion (being spaced out, disconnected and unsure of ones identity) is not the same as academic confusion (not understanding information)

here where I am dissociation confusion does not cause someone to have problems understanding information.

here where I am whether someone understands information or not is called cognitive abilities and learning disorders, IQ level, and also goes hand in hand with how someone learns and what they learned in school and how they learned in school. (reading, writing , math and interpreting what they are reading and writing and learning about.)

my suggestion if you feel you are having problems understanding material and information contact your medical doctor. they can help you get set up with special tests to see why you are suddenly having problems with understanding things people tell you or that you are reading about.

your doctors can also get you in contact with special agencies like literacy volunteers and other special agencies that work with people who have trouble understanding information.

also if you are having this problem and need to fill out recertifications and so on ie SSI, food stamps and so on let those agencies know, they can supply caseworkers to sit down with you and help you fill out any forms when you need to do these things.
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Default May 20, 2019 at 02:22 AM
  #3
I suppose sometimes those things can be dissociation related, but it can also be quite normal to have memory blanks like that. It can also be associated with lack of sleep and a whole host of other things.

But yes, sometimes it can be due to dissociation. One of the negative symptoms of dissociation are Schneiderian rank symptoms where thoughts or feelings are "removed" or dissociated from consciousness. (It happens to me quite a lot).
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Default May 20, 2019 at 12:58 PM
  #4
Many things can cause confusion.I noticed on your profile it says you have ADHD and I know that for my son who has it sometimes even simple things,simple decisions,etc are hard and confusing for him

But if you think yours might be from dissociation it might be a good idea to get a professional opinion
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Default May 20, 2019 at 09:37 PM
  #5
If i can get gas money i am going to see my dr...

Somethings not ok and my ability to express it lessens;i cant yse the phone at all anymore ... i feel something i felt before i started improving..

I seem to be fughting against my conscious desires, choices.. subconsciously..
Im trying to scream out but by time the reverberations echo the surface the thoughts, or words, feelings? My desired informational transfer is casi caught, boxed, locked and hidden .. the feeling of being empty, and the disappointment of incompletion without being helped, scared, alone...


No one will ever find me... i just want to have a life :'(

I keep reaching out, please reach me

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Default May 21, 2019 at 04:58 PM
  #6
Confusion is confusion. There isn't enough connection verbally to give its author or title. I think it really something that has to be reshared stabilized and spoken in order to think of it as not so much of confusion but clarity.
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Default May 21, 2019 at 07:02 PM
  #7
I think im just in a heavy fog .. im asleep..
Its really difficult to do things like this

im scared and ashamed...
And cant get help because im too afraid of talking on the phone..

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Default May 22, 2019 at 11:01 PM
  #8
I just want to ask 1 more question

i feel so avoidant, as in i feel like i know what i need to do; but i cant, not in a procrastination way.. but in a mentally incapable way?
Like anxiety, but more than that? Like getting locked up inside my head and sedated just enough to be able to watch this craziness goin on wandering wtf is wrong with me and why i cant make this madness stop

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Default May 22, 2019 at 11:12 PM
  #9
elevatedsoul...I think you mentioned in a previous post that you might be willing to seek professional counseling?

Maybe have someone walk you through about this struggle you're having will help.


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Default May 26, 2019 at 09:11 AM
  #10
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Originally Posted by elevatedsoul View Post
I just want to ask 1 more question

i feel so avoidant, as in i feel like i know what i need to do; but i cant, not in a procrastination way.. but in a mentally incapable way?
Like anxiety, but more than that? Like getting locked up inside my head and sedated just enough to be able to watch this craziness goin on wandering wtf is wrong with me and why i cant make this madness stop
there is a dissociative problem called depersonalization / derealization but its not like avoiding doing things because of being mentally incapable.

you see here avoiding means to purposely keep away from someone, something and purposely not doing things, there is a word here in america for this avoiding.... its called dis - associate. (spelled with an A between the two S's)

this is different than dissociating (notice there is an A in the first one above and no A in this one between 2 s's)

With Dissociation (no A between 2 S's) means a person isnt avoiding anything. in fact this allows a person to do more things with out feeling, multi task with out emotions getting in the way.

let me show you what I mean....

its memorial weekend. I felt so stressed out emotionally that I purposely avoided going out yesterday (Dis - Associated)

Today I feel nothing, a special kind of mental numbness and this is allowing me to get the salad made for tomorrows family function, dress the children for their sunday school activities, make plans with my wife, do the days housework in just a few hours, come on line .... Im able to do all this with out my emotions from interfering all because I have this mental numbness/ mental sense of being detached from everything. (Dissociated/ depersonalized/ derealized )

my suggestion is if this continues to contact your treatment providers. they will be able to help you to "re associate" if its Dis associate and get grounded if its dissociation.
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Default May 27, 2019 at 07:21 AM
  #11
Maybe im just purposely destroying myself, sabotaging my progress, and ensuring my defeat and failure... 🙁

I just am struggling to understand why i am doing this to myself

Im ready to give up though... just let go and let my chaos win.
Apparently ill be fine either way, either out here, in the hospital, jail, or dead

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Default Jun 26, 2019 at 07:09 AM
  #12
I get so confused! Words and writing have always been something I'm great at, but since my DDNOS really made itself known sometimes I can barely remember how to spell. Everything can feel confusing and just off. Someone will say something and the sentence makes no sense for a couple of seconds. I get confused between 'there/they're' etc which I never did before. So I totally get it!
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Default Jul 01, 2019 at 02:24 PM
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We have ones we call Erasers. They (Don't know how many) literally erase. Be driving home. suddenly nothing seemed familiar. Didn't know where we were, how to get where we were going. Have a regular appointment, didn't know how to get there. Had to buy OnStar!! Scary, frustrating, embarrassing. Learned some doing it intentional cuz they didn't want to go. As more were coming forward they really didn't know. Interrupted conversations, train of thoughts, Embarrassing in our field. We started waking early & defining exactly what absolutely had to be done that day. Say doc appointment. Asking who's to be responsible for that. We learned more about parts as the doc turned out to be a particular ones responsibility. Down to who'll drive, who decided what to wear. As we got more co-con we had to be considerate of everyone. Coloring was as important to one as paying bills to another. We got to the point we could ask them to leave cuz it was work time. And promise them time later. Not as simple as it sounds! Recently was getting my blood pressure checked, a young one wanted to hear what the Doc was listening to in our arm. Honesty no one had ever heard it. Just jumped out and ask. Listened & left.
We don't panic when it happens anymore. We ask who inside can help solve , ask them to leave until we're done, promise time later. They are now learning to *listen* to others, come and go without interrupting. But can definitely lead to not understanding what one was reading. Also rewatching movies! Several times until one gets the entire story.!!
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