Keep coming across this

One thing many people say to me and my Psychologist says all the time. Every session we have is go inside and ask your alters. If you are an adult and just now aware of your system how do you know how to talk to them and see what they say when its thoughts and it basically feels like you are talking back and forth to yourself. I always tell my Psychologist I dont hear any different people in there. It's all like my thinking thoughts and she always dismisses that and says they dont have to sound different. It feels made up to me because it doesnt sound like different people to me.

When I talk with my alters there is never any question in my mind that they are not "me". There is never any question in my mind that they are not them. It "sounds" like a conversation in my head with different voices and characters, but they are always discretely and distinctly themselves and each of them is consistent over time. I come to know them as individuals that are definitely "not me".
When I try to go inside and talk to an alter they may or may not "be there" and they may or may not answer me. But if they do answer I can carry on a conversation with them as easily as could carry on a conversation with someone outside of myself (unless we were talking about a topic that either one of us is still dissociated towards). As much as I try to deny the DID from time to time I can't deny the "realness" of the alters. They are just undeniably not me and undeniably real. Which is a real sticking point for my denial at times.
Maybe instead of trying to analyse what they sound like you could try to see what they feel like? The feeling of who we are as individuals is what makes our host accept us as real, because she can't deny that we are here and we are real.

Dnestor try something...

look at your keyboard that you are typing on to make a post.

now pick one letter. Im going to pick the letter E.

now imagine that E had a mouth and voice and could talk what would it say if I asked it questions...

Me... Hi letter E do you have a name

now Im imagining the letter E is answering me...

E ... my name is just E.

now Im imagining me talking to just E

Me ... its nice to meet you Just E how are you feeling

now Im imagining Just E is telling me what their feeling / Emotion is

E... Im a bit angry and tired.

now Im imagining asking Just E another question

Me .... Just E what do you look like?

now Im imagining Just E answering...

E... If I could be any object I would say I look like an Elephant sitting on their behind.

this is what go inside in IFS means. you sit quietly and notice what parts (thoughts, emotions, images) are there and then ask the IFS questions.

IFS for some people with DID, Schizophrenia and other mental disorders where there is Chatter and alters works the same way.

my suggestion is do what your therapist wants you to do.

I will try that. I know there is someone angry because sometimes I get Stop that I told you about that when I am doing something and someone doesn't like it. It's not the normal self talk when you do something that annoys yourself it feels like it's coming from somewhere else. Just wish they sounded different other than just me thinking. I can't comfort anybody because I dont know them apart. I have 5 that I feel but dont speak. My psychologist keeps telling me to do a family tree of alters when they came and why and how old they are. They dont tell me. That's why I question my diagnosis alot.

Ok, for someone reason whenever you post I never see it until later even though you wrote before me. So sometimes it may seem like I am not interested in what you but thats not true. It only happens with your posts. I dont know why. Maybe something to do with my phone.

Don't worry, it's not your phone, all of her posts have to wait to be approved by a moderator, that's why they don't show up until later.

I was in a similar situation as you've described. I knew there was someone else but I didn't know who he was. I had come to realize that missing time and other realities of my life were not things everyone experienced. So I made a commitment to talk to whoever this 'other' was for fifteen minutes every day for a month. I chose just before going to sleep. I was twenty-seven years old. The first night was challenging because I didn't know where to focus my attention. I wanted to talk to this 'him' whoever 'him was, but it felt like I was talking to myself. So, I grabbed a stuffed animal I had been given as kind of a gag going away gift a few months earlier and placed it in front of me - giving me something to focus my attention on.

Long story short, twenty-nine days came and twenty-nine days went and there was nothing. I felt pretty stupid talking (as it seemed) to myself. Then, on the last day, I was saying good-bye and talking good-naturedly about what a monumental waste of time this had been, said good night for the last time and turned out the lights. And then she screamed. I instantly knew that he was a she and that she was scared of the dark.

That was the beginning of the most important relationship of my life. I'm fifty-four now and so I've known her for twenty-seven years - exactly half my life. I just dedicated my second book to her. Anywho, since then, I've discovered three more alters and I have great relationships with all of them (although it wasn't always the case). That first method of discovery though was powerful. One last thing...perhaps I can save you some time...

It took a bit of time for us to go from us hating and resenting each other to us loving each other. Once I started treating her the way I would want to be treated, things got better. For instance, she was scared of the dark. How hard is it to get a nightlight for her? But I rebelled because I was a big, bad, black belt wearing combat vet - I wouldn't be caught dead with a night light. Once I recognized and allowed for her autonomy,, and respected our differences without taking it personally, things got way better in a hurry.

Been journaling like my Psychologist asked. Trying to do the tree. Where I draw branches and put who were and why they came. Asking them questions 15 to 20 minutes out of the day. No one is answering which is why it's so hard to believe this diagnosis.

Imagine, for a moment, that you are the alter. Imagine you have lived a lifetime being ignored by the 'other'. You may have wanted to speak once, but he or she has ignored you now for how many years? How many decades? Personally, I know that if someone ignores me long enough, I'm going to put up walls. I might block their number and e-mail. I might move and leave no forwarding address. Now, if this person ever decides they want to get in touch with me, how could they?

Patience, Grasshopper.

maybe remembering what therapy program you are doing will help (IFS)

sometimes they don't talk when doing IFS, sometimes they "talk" in IFS way and are just the images, thoughts or emotions that you may feel and discover.

maybe when you ask the questions you can pay attention to how you are feeling, what feelings show up about that question, pay attention to what images you are getting when you ask those questions. what thoughts come to you when you ask those questions. and journal about those thoughts emotions and images.

Yeah I mean they think (I say think because they are like thinking not voices) Like when I was wondering if one named Luna was real. The thoughts said I snuggled Luna. I am they just aren't telling me anything useful right now. I was reading some schizophrenia material and had the thought please help which made me think I had have schizophrenia. I have had some magical thinking and the thoughts of course but I dont know if that's enough for that diagnosis. My psychologist always says I have child alters and child alters have magical thinking.

Are there journals in the home? Associate to plurals s's and thing you've done unconsciously for example several people in wall art. Everyone have favorite people they compare themselves too, who takes to who and why just make it up until you connect a little more. 'Thoughts" are what alters share it doesn't have to sound all different. Especailly if just starting out in therapy. If you write and communicate a lot switching should be easy to pick up in journals at your place of employment and while in college.

Im not understanding the first paragraph? I live in a group home but I work here for some pocket change so I buy notebooks. Am I supposed to be free association writing? I think thats what its called.

there is no right or wrong way to write when a person is doing journal writing...

some people free write as in they do not have a topic or question to write about, they just write with out thinking of what to say. this type of writing is taught in college writing courses along with other forms of writing too...

here is an example of free writing......

the birds are singing out side my window, I can hear one of the childrens snores, did I remember to get the milk last night I hope so when angel wakes up shes going to be hungry (angel is my youngest child who is still asleep and snoring) the other three are already awake I can hear them playing and talking. eagle has a school event tonight, whoa what was that noise out there, didnt sound like any birds....

thats free writing ( just writing and not thinking about every detail of what you are writing) I like writing this way in my journals but sometimes when I have a problem I an trying to work out I do more formal organized writing.....

example...

why am I so moody today, all I seem to be doing today is complaining and nit picking everything. not even the children have made me smile today. alright one step at a time..
meds..... check no skipped dosage

meals .....check meals have been right on schedule this week and I ate healthily.

Fluids ....check I have been getting enough fluids not dehydrated.

Doctors.. when was the last time my meds where checked on, lab work done and a basic physical...probably time to schedule this so that my doctors can figure out what is going on. time to make a list for my doctors ...

Other times in my journals I write down songs, poems, favorite tv shows, favorite books and talk about those...

and sometimes in therapy my treatment providers have a set topic or question for me to write about me, our sessions or confusions related to my sessions. then we work on these things during my sessions.

see there is no right or wrong way to journal. its your own space and time to do what you want with it.

just keep following your treatment providers and your IFS program in the order and way that your treatment provider is doing it and things will slowly make sense to you as you go along. it takes time and taking things one step at a time.

As for missing my posts, Dnester like I told you before Im using translators and english is not my primary language therefore to prevent confusion and problems for everyone on psych central I prefer to send my posts to a moderator first, so that we can catch any problems before they get posted for all to see. this sometimes takes time because the moderators are not always online right when I send them my posts, and they may be dealing with other things at the moment, So sometimes it takes time for my posts to appear on the boards. the trade off, of my being a perfectionist that I choose to live with.