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elizathornberry
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Help Oct 05, 2019 at 02:56 AM
  #1
Has anyone had this experience of having black outs from even a low benzo dose?

I don’t understand how people take these and function.

I was given only .5mg and I was completely *gone*... is this a dissociative episode that’s happening?

Like the walls are down so the alters have ease of access to the front or something??

Because when I’m on them I am completely blacked out. I took one once just before going into target. I have memory of walking in the parking lot toward the store and then boom. Gone.

I was with my friend so I asked him what happened? And he said “you were just really happy and giggly, and having a good time with stuff. In a child like manner. You seemed like a child. Excited by, sparkly things and, stickers. You liked those a lot.”

And I have no memory of this no abolity to retrieve it ether. It’s completely not there.

This happens every time I take a benzo, but another time I filmed myself and said my name was Blake in the video.

My name isn’t blake. Lol

I’ve also had people approach me during my mental hospital stay after a black out, I woke up from a nap I don’t remember deciding to take.

And people were calling me Maggie.

And I said “my names not Maggie?” Confused

And they said oh, it’s you (my actual name). Glad to be back?

And I said what??? lol

I’m just so confused.

I’ve also had another friend tell me I introduced myself as Maggie to him. I brushed it off as like “oh that’s weird!!”

But... I think I must have actually done that and don’t... know.

Countless other examples of my dissociation but yeah...

I just wanted to ask abojt the benzos thing in particular if you find with DID it does the opposite of ground you but instead allows alters a much easier time with just taking over
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Default Oct 05, 2019 at 09:15 AM
  #2
Quote:
Originally Posted by elizathornberry View Post
Has anyone had this experience of having black outs from even a low benzo dose?

I don’t understand how people take these and function.

I was given only .5mg and I was completely *gone*... is this a dissociative episode that’s happening?

Like the walls are down so the alters have ease of access to the front or something??

Because when I’m on them I am completely blacked out. I took one once just before going into target. I have memory of walking in the parking lot toward the store and then boom. Gone.

I was with my friend so I asked him what happened? And he said “you were just really happy and giggly, and having a good time with stuff. In a child like manner. You seemed like a child. Excited by, sparkly things and, stickers. You liked those a lot.”

And I have no memory of this no abolity to retrieve it ether. It’s completely not there.

This happens every time I take a benzo, but another time I filmed myself and said my name was Blake in the video.

My name isn’t blake. Lol

I’ve also had people approach me during my mental hospital stay after a black out, I woke up from a nap I don’t remember deciding to take.

And people were calling me Maggie.

And I said “my names not Maggie?” Confused

And they said oh, it’s you (my actual name). Glad to be back?

And I said what??? lol

I’m just so confused.

I’ve also had another friend tell me I introduced myself as Maggie to him. I brushed it off as like “oh that’s weird!!”

But... I think I must have actually done that and don’t... know.

Countless other examples of my dissociation but yeah...

I just wanted to ask abojt the benzos thing in particular if you find with DID it does the opposite of ground you but instead allows alters a much easier time with just taking over
I have had some medication...…...side effects...…… but not because of my dissociative disorders... the diagnostics for DID are that the problems can not be because of medications, drugs or alcohol. so those things had to be ruled out before I was diagnosed with DID.

my suggestion is if your medication side effects continue to happen contact your treatment providers. they will be able to make changes/ adjustments so that this does not continue to happen for you.
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Anonymous42119
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Default Oct 05, 2019 at 06:55 PM
  #3
About 15 years ago, I was on Ativan/Lorazepam (dosages were 0.5, 1, and 2), and my dissociative symptoms worsened with every increase, but my anxieties reduced. I guess it helped one symptom but made the other worse. I've tried other medications as well, but they would have adverse effects, so my psychiatrist back then decided to wean me off of all of them, and I've been more stable ever since. About 10 years or so psychotropic-drug-free and simply using skills to help me manage. It's not easy though. Some people need medications, whereas others might be better off without them. I'm one of the ones who did better without them. A good and seasoned psychiatrist who isn't pill-pushing will help you determine what is best for you. Thank goodness I had a psychiatrist who recognized that I was better off with talk therapy than pill therapy.
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Parva
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Default Oct 06, 2019 at 03:29 PM
  #4
My psychiatrist just told me about a week ago that benzos are notoriously tricky with DD.

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Default Oct 07, 2019 at 10:45 PM
  #5
Yes! Years ago I took a small dose of Ativan. It so happened that my niece and I were attending a Native American festival that day. The last thing I remembered was the sound of the car doors slamming when we got out of the car to walk to the festival. Next thing I knew it was morning of the next day, I awoke in my bed, and never recovered anything of the festival we attended for several hours. My niece never said anything, so I assume I behaved normally.

I have been taking Klonopin for around twenty years and it has caused me to lose so much time in my life. Just complete black-outs. It makes me sad.

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