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Anonymous42119
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#1
I have been staring at the titles here. I have started and stopped myself from posting. There are too many things sometimes. Fear of saying too much. But happy about other things in my life. Scared about tomorrow's interview. Constantly checking the date to make sure I did not dissociate. Trying to be whole and face my fears through posting about myself and thinking it will speed my healing but it sped my triggers. I am grounded and here and somewhat focused. I cannot sleep. I will sleep. I may meet my potential mentor tomorrow. I spoke with my old mentor today. I have so many mentors for research or professional development. They have NO CLUE I am DID.
The one clinical psych mentor I disclosed DID to did not believe in it. We ended our mentor mentee relationship. I will not make that mistake ever again. Everyone else I get along with. I just need to be all there. I keep telling myself and parts, I can do this. Please let me do this. No worries. I will do this. I trust me and my system. The worst that can happen is rejection. We can handle that. It is worth trying. I am not a complete basketcase. I am seeking help at the VA so I should be good. I hope the CFS does not flare up. |
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Amyjay
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Member Since: Mar 2017
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#2
It sounds stressful. Best wishes for your tomorrow-thing.
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Anonymous42119
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#3
@Amyjay
Thank you. I'll eventually get sleep tonight. I need to be tired to sleep though. I'm exhausted and fatigued, but not sleepy (yet). I'll get there. |
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