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Old 10-15-2019, 05:36 AM   #1
Anonymous42119
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Confused Will I ever see myself as a singleton?

Will I always see myself as a multiple, if I integrate, or could I finally see myself as a singleton?

My identity remains multiple at the moment.
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Old 10-17-2019, 05:17 PM   #2
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Default Re: Will I ever see myself as a singleton?

Quote:
Originally Posted by lillib View Post
Will I always see myself as a multiple, if I integrate, or could I finally see myself as a singleton?

My identity remains multiple at the moment.
IDK if you will or not,I guess time will tell.

For me personally, no I don't see or consider myself multiple at all since integration
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Old 10-18-2019, 12:24 PM   #3
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Default Re: Will I ever see myself as a singleton?

Is not good guidance to not relate to any singleton no matter what! Unless you just accepting the diagnoses. I would be very concerned for you if all you relate to is multiplicity. Accepting the dx it comes in phases and level as your treatment provider according to you individual situation maybe about 6 months and less than that if you aren't scared to mixed it up. You know with your environment and who you get out with.
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Old 10-18-2019, 10:42 PM   #4
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Default Re: Will I ever see myself as a singleton?

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Originally Posted by vultureculture View Post
Is not good guidance to not relate to any singleton no matter what! Unless you just accepting the diagnoses. I would be very concerned for you if all you relate to is multiplicity. Accepting the dx it comes in phases and level as your treatment provider according to you individual situation maybe about 6 months and less than that if you aren't scared to mixed it up. You know with your environment and who you get out with.
@vultureculture

Thank you! I've heard DID get described many ways. One T described it as "multiplicity" because they didn't believe in DID. Another T described it as "ego states," since that was their institution's orientation. Another T described it as "parts" of the self that were "fragmented." Another T described it as "dissociation." Another T described it as a "lack of integration of the self during certain times of development." Other T's assert that DID doesn't exist and/or is extremely rare if it does exist. Still, other T's assert that it is an iatrogenic effect of poor treatment, which involves highly suggestible clients, false memory syndrome, somatoform disorder, a personality disorder, a combination of multiple personality disorders, a factitious disorder, and the list goes on.

When the psychiatric community fails to have consensus on what DID is, and what treatments are required, and how it should be assessed, etc., the clients with DID will doubt, will learn from the arguments within the psychiatric community, and will feel disbelieved and perpetually hidden, never having received proper care for a diagnosis that truly exists.

This push on being a "singleton" post "integration" was also an issue with some. I tried my hardest, and I still do. I cannot seem to identify as anything other than "multiple." "Singleton" and "multiplicity" are terms that undermine my struggles and my DID, it seems. So, yes, you're right. THANK YOU!
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Old 10-19-2019, 12:43 AM   #5
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Default Re: Will I ever see myself as a singleton?

I (that is, this alter that is writing now, as opposed to others in this system) come at it from the point of view that DID develops from an unintegrated sense of self due to trauma during the stage of development of the formation of the self-identity. Although I still cannot fathom how I could ever be able to see the abuse that happened to this whole person as something that happened to ME personally, I do believe that one day that will indeed happen. I understand the theory behind the phenomenon of dissociated states of identity and understand that although it does not feel like it in any way shape or form, the abuse and trauma happened to the whole person of which I myself am only one dissociated aspect.
I hold blind faith that I will one day see myself as a singular integrated sense of self with the other dissociated alters of this single individual.
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Old 10-19-2019, 12:50 AM   #6
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Default Re: Will I ever see myself as a singleton?

@Amyjay alter peraon, thank you for explaining it to us. It is hard to think of the abuse in any other way than what happens to alter persons because maybe that is how our memories stored them. It still feels like the body host person is having a trauma transfusion between us alters and her, and that we all remaining ones are still trying to help her. The body host person is more scared than the rest of us.
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Old 10-19-2019, 02:36 AM   #7
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Default Re: Will I ever see myself as a singleton?

Is integration a trigger? Do I need trigger warnings?
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Old 10-19-2019, 04:58 AM   #8
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Default Re: Will I ever see myself as a singleton?

Quote:
Originally Posted by lillib View Post
Is integration a trigger? Do I need trigger warnings?
I wouldn't think so.
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Old 10-19-2019, 05:25 AM   #9
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Default Re: Will I ever see myself as a singleton?

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Originally Posted by Amyjay View Post
I wouldn't think so.
@Amyjay

Thank you! I was so afraid that I triggered you or others with the "I" word. I didn't know what to say. I'm glad that you answered my question.
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Old 10-19-2019, 08:42 AM   #10
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Default Re: Will I ever see myself as a singleton?

Quote:
Originally Posted by lillib View Post

. This push on being a "singleton" post "integration" was also an issue with some. I tried my hardest, and I still do. I cannot seem to identify as anything other than "multiple." "Singleton" and "multiplicity" are terms that undermine my struggles and my DID, it seems. !
Whenever I see the term singleton it kinda makes me laugh.It's a silly word to me.Nobody is really a singleton,everyone wears different hats.My therapist explained it as in when he's at work he has on his therapist hat,with his wife his husband hat,grandpa hat with his grandkids, etc.

If you see yourself as multiple I think that's perfectly ok.Im not sure where that push is to be a singleton post integration,is that what you personally have experienced?

I don't think a person needs to or even should try their hardest to identify with something they feel they're not.If you feel you're not then you're just not and nobody else has the right to tell you to think or feel differently.

I reached complete integration and I no longer have the DID diagnosis.I no longer think or feel I am a person with DID or with a dissociative disorder.It was something I could never imagine happening or imagine what it would be like before it happened. What I think and feel about it all now are are based on my own personal experience and my own truth and reality.It's not wrong,it's just what is.And that's the same for everyone, it is what it is and no right or wrong.

I have been a member here for quite a few years.I don't really post that much,mainly because I know that although I can share some of my experiences the fact is it's just MY experiences and I don't ever want anyone to think or feel anything I say is how things should be for anyone else or that they are wrong in what they say or experience.

So if you identify in that way,that's your own personal experience and it's ok.
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