Is this depersonalization, dissociation or..?

Hi everyone,

I'm new on this site, and I know that this is not a place for diagnosing oneself or anything like that. And that is not what this post is about
But what I'm asking is just for some input and perhaps to hear whether others have experienced something like this as well.

First, let me say that I can occasionally get panik attacks with quite severe hyperventilation and feeling like it's difficult to "be in my body"/feel that I am in my body. But I feel that I handle this quite okay, and they do not cause any major issues for me I would say.
But what has begun to bother me is that I have started to get these episodes of not really knowing who I am/what to do. I mean, rationally I know that I am me, but I have no clue on how to be me. Does it make sense? I completely forget about the different things I have in my life and the habits I have, and what I normally like to do. It's like I am me but without any of what actually makes me be me. So this leaves me feeling somewhat confused, unable to know "what to do" in my normal habits, I forget what great things I have to look forward to in my life, I forget that I have people who are close to me. Its as though all of that has suddenly been removed from me and all I have is what I am doing right there in that moment.
So, it can be difficult for me, because if this occurs during the evening then I am left with not knowing what to do; is there something I need to take care of before going to bed, when do I go to bed, what is the plan for now or tomorrow, what do I even want to do... etc...
What then usually happens is that whatever thing I begin doing in that moment is sort of a thing I never stop doing until it is impossible or so uncomfortable physically that I have no choice but to stop, e.g. walking around in a supermarket for hours, watching something on netflix until the next morning, running until I begin crying from exhaustion, eating until I feel physically sick, driving around in my car until I feel like I almost can't see the road anymore...
This feeling of not knowing who "me" is and not knowing all of the regular things one knows about oneself is so unpleasant I can't even describe it...

So, I would really appreciate any thoughts, inputs, comments or whatever you might find relevant.

Br, F

my thoughts... like the disclaimer at the bottom of the page states you will need to contact your own treatment providers. the questions you are asking...

title question

is this depersonalization, dissociation or...?

only your own treatment providers can answer that based on your own individual symptoms, problems, life, medications, other accompanying symptoms your own physical and mental health and other factors that we on line are not privy to.

questions in post....

does this make sense... again we cant say whether this makes sense or not for you and your own health. for me what I can say is that yes your post made sense to me, good sentence structure, good vocab, I have had some of the same problems but in me they were called many different things by my own treatment providers based on my own individual things like my own meds, my own life, my own health issues, my own mental health issues, my cultural background, my religion.....

for example you mention difficulty being in your body. for me that's part of my bipolar with psychosis symptoms. its also part of my medications and its also part of my native America culture. my spiritual beliefs and practices also took that out of the running for being part of my dissociative disorders for having visions / OBE (out of body experiences) happens with religions native American cultures and others too and can also happen with medications / meditation and other common practices. the kind that fits dissociative disorders is vastly different than just my having difficulty staying in my body.

what did make it fit in was that the problem was trauma trigger related and the fix for my dissociative disconnection from my body was called grounding, relaxation and locating the trigger. fixing things in my life so that I was no longer triggered by what ever was causing the problem. these things took addressing and working with my mental health treatment providers

again we can not tell you what something is with in your body and whether something makes sense for you. for that you will need to contact your treatment providers. psych central cant do that for you. here all we do is the same thing as if you were sitting somewhere chatting with your friends. sharing your life and situations with your friends.

Hi amandalouise,
Thank you for sharing what you felt was relevant.
I absolutely agree that this site/my post isn’t meant to be anything that could or should lead one closer to any treatment-related conclusions or anything like that. And that is exactly the reason why I chose to write this as the very first thing. Thank you for reminding me of the importance of mentioning this - and that only leads me to (once again) be glad that I in fact did write this to begin with in my post...

I am glad that you share your personal experiences, and here I will - once again - Thank you for yet again letting me know that this site/message/post can not be used for anything that a professional treatment provider would otherwise be used for.
One thing I am quite sure that a professional treatment provider would not be able to contribute to is to share how/whether others (besides from his- or herself) have any thoughts about this that I am experiencing.

Hi and welcome. I can't say I can relate exactly to what you have written, but it does sound like a dissociative process of some sort, where you are dissociated from your sense of self. (I know you fully understand that I am not attempting to give you a "diagnosis" of any sort in saying that. )
Do you have a therapist?