advertisement
Reply
Thread Tools Display Modes
PapoPez22
Member
PapoPez22 has no updates.
 
Member Since: May 2013
Location: Florida
Posts: 37
10 yr Member
17 hugs
given
Chat Dec 01, 2019 at 07:16 PM
  #1
As my NYC anniversary approaches, I've been reflecting a lot about my life here. I've been thinking a lot about how most of the time I feel like an outsider, like there's a veil that separates me from my surroundings, like all of this is just a really long, foggy dream.

Suddenly, I remembered the term "dissociation" that came across last year when I was in therapy for Generalized Anxiety Disorder. I finished my treatment in January and I haven't had any panic attacks since then, but this feeling of not-quite-feeling-like-my-life-is-real has been there almost daily.

I dug up some info and I feel like I can relate to some of the symptoms for some kind of dissociative disorder. I also took a test online and my score was slightly above the minimum for a possible dissociative disorder.

Here's the thing: when I go back home (in the Caribbean), everything goes away. I feel like I belong again, and everything feels so real: the sand between my toes, the sun against my skin, the sounds of insects singing in my backyard, my family's embrace, the light that floods my room, the breeze in the morning... I just wanna soak it all in before I leave. Then I come back to NYC, and everything feels unreal all over again.

Has anybody felt the same way? I don't quite feel like I have a disorder,... maybe it's just my body doing this as a coping mechanism to the fact that I can't move back home yet. But I'm not opposed to the possibility that I might have to go to therapy again if I need to (I actually loved my therapy process).

Anyway, just sharing my experience in the hopes I can understand better my feelings and what's happening to me.

Cheers
PapoPez22 is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
Fuzzybear

advertisement
Anonymous32451
Guest
Anonymous32451 has no updates. Edit
 
Posts: n/a
Default Dec 02, 2019 at 07:37 AM
  #2
I relate.

I have always lived in england, but I've moved cities a few times.

my wish is to go back to the city I was born in and I spent most of my time, because it just feels like home. like you: the other cities just don't feel right.

their are also cities where I was abused and hurt, so I totally avoid those. they make me fixate on all the bad stuff that happened to me
  Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
amandalouise
Wise Elder
 
amandalouise's Avatar
amandalouise has no updates.
 
Member Since: Mar 2009
Location: 8CS / NYS / USA
Posts: 9,133
15 yr Member
884 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Dec 03, 2019 at 10:26 AM
  #3
Quote:
Originally Posted by AlexCL0730 View Post
As my NYC anniversary approaches, I've been reflecting a lot about my life here. I've been thinking a lot about how most of the time I feel like an outsider, like there's a veil that separates me from my surroundings, like all of this is just a really long, foggy dream.

Suddenly, I remembered the term "dissociation" that came across last year when I was in therapy for Generalized Anxiety Disorder. I finished my treatment in January and I haven't had any panic attacks since then, but this feeling of not-quite-feeling-like-my-life-is-real has been there almost daily.

I dug up some info and I feel like I can relate to some of the symptoms for some kind of dissociative disorder. I also took a test online and my score was slightly above the minimum for a possible dissociative disorder.

Here's the thing: when I go back home (in the Caribbean), everything goes away. I feel like I belong again, and everything feels so real: the sand between my toes, the sun against my skin, the sounds of insects singing in my backyard, my family's embrace, the light that floods my room, the breeze in the morning... I just wanna soak it all in before I leave. Then I come back to NYC, and everything feels unreal all over again.

Has anybody felt the same way? I don't quite feel like I have a disorder,... maybe it's just my body doing this as a coping mechanism to the fact that I can't move back home yet. But I'm not opposed to the possibility that I might have to go to therapy again if I need to (I actually loved my therapy process).

Anyway, just sharing my experience in the hopes I can understand better my feelings and what's happening to me.

Cheers
here where I am and in my native American culture this is not called dissociation. here where I am and in my native American culture this is called culture shock...

kind of like a person who gets on an airplane and flies across country they will feel a bit out of it from crossing time zones and from the mountains to the desert and its called jet lag.

when someone from one location goes to another location and feels like things are strange and unreal its because the brain is trying to use the old location as a reference point, since the old location and the new location doesn't match theres a feeling of somethings not right here, I don't fit in, this just doesn't feel like "Home" to me, doesn't feel real.

the difference in dissociation and culture shock here where I am is that dissociation doesn't just happen because someone has moved to another location, it affects all areas of a persons life...

example I know that its dissociation and not culture shock when I am traveling or moving from the city to our country vacation home by the fact that not only am I feeling the vacation home feels unreal but so do the people who are normally in my life (my wife and children) not only am I feeling the location is detached from me but my service animal who is with me on a daily basis feels strange to me, like she is far away from me or her usual walk is like slow motion, that usual tooth paste that I use on a daily basis has no flavor or texture to me today.

where as its a culture shock for me not dissociation when there is no triggering factor that is causing me to feel numb and spaced out disconnected.
amandalouise is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
vultureculture
Account Suspended
vultureculture has no updates.
 
Member Since: Oct 2019
Location: Philadelphia
Posts: 144
3 yr Member
Default Dec 07, 2019 at 04:40 PM
  #4
Such a relatable experience, I had the thought of me moving back to the south then the north. It wasn't what I needed it seemed so quiet and just not really ready. I think though as you really master what it means to stay presence and appreciative it will go away. Try reintroducing yourself to the area that you really need to remain.
vultureculture is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
just2b
Veteran Member
just2b deleted
 
Member Since: Nov 2009
Location: SpACE
Posts: 597
10 yr Member
141 hugs
given
Default Dec 19, 2019 at 03:08 PM
  #5
Think anything can make you dissociative and you can or not be aware
just2b is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Fuzzybear
Wisest Elder Ever
 
Fuzzybear's Avatar
Fuzzybear has no updates.
 
Member Since: Nov 2002
Location: Cave.
Posts: 96,300 (SuperPoster!)
20 yr Member
81.2k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Jan 18, 2020 at 10:48 PM
  #6

__________________
Fuzzybear is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
All times are GMT -5. The time now is 12:48 PM.
Powered by vBulletin® — Copyright © 2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.



 

My Support Forums

My Support Forums is the online community that was originally begun as the Psych Central Forums in 2001. It now runs as an independent self-help support group community for mental health, personality, and psychological issues and is overseen by a group of dedicated, caring volunteers from around the world.

 

Helplines and Lifelines

The material on this site is for informational purposes only, and is not a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment provided by a qualified health care provider.

Always consult your doctor or mental health professional before trying anything you read here.