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Old 05-01-2020, 01:21 PM   #1
Fuzzybear
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Default Put it back

Papa bear (my husband) and I have been having a lovely meal

Something unwelcome just intruded on our meal. It was my “mistake” not being more mindful of all my boundaries..

Papa bear’s first words were “put it back”

(this is not about anyone on pc or the current “situation” in the word. I offer my deepest respect and appreciation to all those who respect my boundaries, since I think all who read here have more understanding and appreciation of boundaries than many other people, especially “family” and “professionals” in this forest irl. If anyone wishes for “clarification” or is confused, there is no requirement to respond to this message )

Respect and appreciation to all
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Old 05-01-2020, 07:21 PM   #2
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When I saw your title, it made me think of the items I took from my T's office over the last year, and then read more of your post mentioning boundaries. Maybe I need to just put it all back too. Thanks for hint of what I need to do. I was going to tell her Thursday but I could not bear to do it.
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Old 05-01-2020, 07:37 PM   #3
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Quote:
Originally Posted by just2b View Post
When I saw your title, it made me think of the items I took from my T's office over the last year, and then read more of your post mentioning boundaries. Maybe I need to just put it all back too. Thanks for hint of what I need to do. I was going to tell her Thursday but I could not bear to do it.
That reminds me of when I opened a cupboard a few inches only (or less) which was right next to where I was sitting in the T's office. I didn't get to see what was in there. Maybe my cub thought there might be some toys in there.
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Old 05-01-2020, 07:43 PM   #4
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Other people's boundaries, in particular a therapist's boundaries are an interesting question. One therapist might think a client had done something ''wrong'' opening a cupboard a few inches which is right next to them. Another therapist might want to explore why. That therapist didn't have anything in her room I would have wanted to take home with me. If she had had something.... I wouldn't have taken it.
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Old 05-01-2020, 10:50 PM   #5
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I have taken a small red stress ball, a pen, and post card. I was going to take a small rock, but she had not given me the opportunity to do so before the this all started. I took the stress ball in Feb, start of March. Pen and post card last year or so. Over the 6 years she has given me things, a shell, a river rock, and a warm comfy blanket. I think I sometimes get mad at her and decide to take things, as a way to deal with feellings. Teenage thing.
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Old 05-02-2020, 09:39 AM   #6
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I have often experienced this phenomenom myself. When a cub's boundaries are not taught to him as he grows up, he does not learn respect for boundaries, his own or those of other people. He doesnt respect them because he doesnt even SEE them. He cant read the signs!

This becomes tiresome to the other bears and they ignore him. The bear feels bad being ignored and tries tries again. What else can you do but try to learn from your mistakes.

But also, figure out where your own boundaries are and Smokey T. the heck out of those!
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