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Old 05-14-2020, 10:10 AM   #1
cptsdwhoa
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Default Nervous Tics

Hello everyone.

I was searching for some information on how trauma affects the brain since I've been having a hard time lately and I came across this paper.

https://www.rachelsvineyard.org/Downloads/Canada%20Conference%2008/TextOfBrainPP.pdf


There's a section that says:



Dissociation is a separation of the elements of the traumatic experience, which REDUCES the impact of the experience. Floating above body Traumatized people are used to dissociation, not feeling their bodies; the memories cause them to shut themselves down, go numb, blank and frozen in order not to feel anything. Trauma can be intrusive. It can interpret and dictate your current life.


I didn't understand that all of these years I was experiencing dissociation.


I'm struggling lately, and have gone numb again. I know it will eventually lift, and I will be ready to face things again. I'm trying to not stay in this place too long. But lately I've developed a nervous tic any time I start to think about things I don't want to deal with or are struggling to work through.


Has this ever happened to you? How did you work through it?



It was so bad one day I talked with a stutter. Mostly, it's body twitches and vocal grunts
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Old 05-14-2020, 10:33 AM   #2
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Dear cptsdwhoa,

I am so very sorry you are suffering these things you describe. It is really heartbreaking what you are going through. I wish I knew what to say that would help but I haven't experienced the things you describe. . Hopefully you will get many helpful responses to your post from people who have experience. My heart goes out to you!

Sincerely yours, Yao Wen
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Old 05-14-2020, 12:26 PM   #3
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@Yaowen

Thank you for your care and concern.
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Old 05-15-2020, 05:21 AM   #4
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Hey cptsdwhoa,
I am going through something similar as you are. I am actively facing the consequences of the repetitive trauma I suffered when I was a child, and this active process has been going on for 17 months now, but it has been 3,5 years in total, since I first started suffering from trauma-related symptoms.
I had eye and nose twitches and blinks since June last year, aggravated when thinking about things I found unbearable to think and to feel. I also had terrible headaches on the right side, and I had and still have really troubling and sometimes debilitating pains in my pelvic region, that spread across my groin area to hips and lower back. I know these are all somatic, because the resolution of certain thoughts and emotions alleviates them.
I do not have as much twitches in my face any more, and it coincided with my depersonalization subsiding. For 3,5 years I was dissociated a lot, and seriously depersonalized for chunks of time, often several months in a row. This last depersonalization spell lasted since January, as I was badly triggered at the time. However, it lifted completely beginning April, and I do not feel depersonalized for more than a month now, and suffer less from twitches. I think the twitches stopped with yet another realization and resolution of a certain emotion that I was able to articulate and to express out loud in confronting one of the people I hold responsible for some of the trauma I survived (as enabler).

However, my pelvic pain is getting worse by the day, and I find it hard to stand up some days, but it lasts only for an hour most, and can happen a few times during the day, and the difference between being in pain and not being in pain is sudden, and drastic, as when the pain starts I honestly feel I want to die, as it is excruciating. Still, my experience so far has shown me that it takes a lot of self-care work, and that it is possible to get out of the pain and other uncomfortable bodily sensations. I know my body is giving me clues as to where I should focus my attention to right now.
I found that physical activity helps me - I make sure that I walk every day at least half an hour. However, what proved to help me most were some body movements that I have almost forgotten I am capable of, like rollerblading or rollerscating - you know these activities that make you feel as if you are using your whole body, and you get some kind of rush from it, as when we were children? It goes for even more static activities (than rollerblading), such as engaging in the game of billiard or darts, or something that is an activity where body has to have coordination to achieve some precision. It feels as if my attempt to maintain balance and precision, as well as the rush from such activity, do something very positive to my general feeling of connectedness to self.

Besides body movements, I found that talking about the stages of healing (not necessarily of trauma any more, as I do not want to traumatize people around me any further with details - even though it was kind of necessary at one point, as I could not hold back), as well as articulating verbally one's thoughts, feelings and sensations with precision, makes me feel grounded. If it is mentionable, it is managable
Take care, and know that you are not alone on this road.

A.
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Old 05-17-2020, 11:10 AM   #5
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@Alatea

Thank you so much for sharing. It is a great comfort that, while incredibly sad that anyone would know what this is like, I'm not alone. It also is of great comfort that you've found some relief so maybe it's not impossible for me. Thank you again for sharing. I have a dear friend that is further down the path of recovery, and she was explaining how my body is probably doing what it can to deal with the trauma while I face it in order to heal through it. It's coming out in weird ways.


I'm starting to come out of the fog that I was in for the last two months. I've noticed that they aren't so bad when I verbalize my thoughts and feelings. Some issues are still too difficult and "compartmentalize" things in my head (if that makes sense) in order of readiness to deal with it. That has helped me to take baby steps and stop most of the tics.

You mentioned that you're experience has shown you that it takes a lot of self-work care. I do believe that you're right. That was one of the biggest issues with which I was struggling. It it still, admittedly, very difficult to accept at the moment that I'm not (insert toxic self criticism here) but am healing right now. Embracing that is proving difficult, but once my therapist mentioned we should work on my self-care (not just what you do but how you view yourself with compassion) a lot of the tics stopped when I could finally listen to what she was saying. So, I see that's a lot of what I need to learn. Thank you again.
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Old 05-22-2020, 10:03 AM   #6
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Old 05-25-2020, 06:28 AM   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Fuzzybear View Post

Thank you
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