dissociative disorders check in thread #4

Dec 09, 2020 at 07:06 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Amyjay

I really don't want to see my T tomorrow. I am feeling very over it. I want to cancel and just live my life as a "normal" person!

I feel like that too sometimes.

then I think if I was normal, what would I actually do with myself

I don't have a life plan, and I'm so used to living like this. it might be a bit of a shock

Dec 09, 2020 at 07:07 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Breaking Dawn

My voices are arguing loudly, yelling at each other. I feel so sad. My heart is crying.

my grownups like to swear

natalie especially is very good at that

stahrgeyzer · Dec 09, 2020 at 01:10 PM

There're some alters/parts who are devastating to my life but I'm thankful they don't take over the body that often. I know they're in a lot of pain and hard trying to defend the system. On the other had there're lot ones, mostly littles, who are crying for therapy.

Dec 11, 2020 at 06:54 AM

I am annoyed because I can't have an amy doll for christmas since they stopped selling them a few years back

I'm going to check ebay just in case, but if not I guess I need to find a suitable alternative- that, or just not have a new doll

Amyjay · Dec 25, 2020 at 10:14 PM

Christmas day was full of disgusting flashbacks.
Yay, trauma strikes again.

Dec 26, 2020 at 05:44 AM

our christmas day was spent alone, so we're glad it's over. nothing jumped out at us and screamed christmas really, though the littles watched 2 televised pantomimes which they enjoyed. we got a grand total of 3 christmas cards, all of them from charities- so not even people we knew.

Dec 26, 2020 at 05:45 AM

we're also feeling pretty sick.

our christmas dinner yesterday was. well. far from nice. we'll just leave it at that

Breaking Dawn · Dec 27, 2020 at 12:45 PM

I keep learning.

Claritytoo · Dec 29, 2020 at 07:39 PM

I just had a very difficult time logging on. WTF!
WTF!
I barely get through the day and now I have to fking remember s@#t. Not good not good. I need help but I can't find a t who knows anything about DID. It's fked up. very fked up. I need help. I NEED HELP! I need need need need need need need need......

Claritytoo · Dec 29, 2020 at 07:46 PM

I don't have for ever. I don't know what to do to get peace of mind. Just someone to help us. Where the fk do I find someone to help us

Amyjay · Dec 30, 2020 at 04:24 AM

I don't know, Claritytoo, I wish there was help for you.

Dec 31, 2020 at 11:12 AM

I wish we could sleep through the depression fest that is new year's eve. we're ending it on such a low that all we can think about is our failing health

plus the littles (well all of us really), hate fireworks and we know they'll be some tonight. we live next door to a lot of kids, so..

Breaking Dawn · Dec 31, 2020 at 11:35 AM

Recently I seem to be in a constant state of dissociation. I'm aware (at least most of the time), but I feel like I'm halfway here & halfway somewhere else.

Taylor27 · Dec 31, 2020 at 03:45 PM

I feel like these days it's easier to dissociate and harder to stay present all day even though im aware of my surroundings. I have accepted the fact that this is something that I have had for a long time and ingored. I am glad that I have a good therapist and a good treatment plan going forward. Happy New Year everyone

Amyjay · Jan 02, 2021 at 03:39 AM

I am trying super hard to keep track of "being triggered" and to backtrack and find out what caused it. It's super hard to do! But interesting. I am learning things from it... I guess?
I am definitely seeing patterns, at any rate.

Fuzzybear · Jan 02, 2021 at 12:03 PM

Taylor27 · Jan 02, 2021 at 12:49 PM

Feeling more productive today. I did some journaling,and slowly catching up on things that I neglected for the past two weeks.

Jan 03, 2021 at 06:05 AM

feeling in pain. still struggling with basic tasks

a lot

Breaking Dawn · Jan 03, 2021 at 07:34 AM

I guess I dissociated yesterday. This morning I found something new pinned to my cell phone browser's top sites. It's about fantasy prone personalities & it fits me, so I'm considering what it says. I don't know why I googled it in the first place. Did I run into it accidentally? Did I learn about it from someone else's post here?

Breaking Dawn · Jan 03, 2021 at 06:44 PM

This is the only place where I feel safe enough to reveal what seems to be unraveling about myself, after all these years. I am old & a child at the same time. I love so much & so many things. I feel so blessed to have the privilege to be here. I am a loner, always protecting myself. But I love you so much! If you only knew how important all of you are.

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dissociative disorders check in thread #4

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stahrgeyzer Magnate Member Since Feb 2018 Location: literally hell Posts: 2,347 6 5,654 hugs given	Dec 09, 2020 at 01:10 PM #143 There're some alters/parts who are devastating to my life but I'm thankful they don't take over the body that often. I know they're in a lot of pain and hard trying to defend the system. On the other had there're lot ones, mostly littles, who are crying for therapy.

Anonymous32451 Guest Posts: n/a	Dec 11, 2020 at 06:54 AM #144 I am annoyed because I can't have an amy doll for christmas since they stopped selling them a few years back I'm going to check ebay just in case, but if not I guess I need to find a suitable alternative- that, or just not have a new doll

Amyjay Magnate Member Since Mar 2017 Location: Underground Posts: 2,439 7 692 hugs given	Dec 25, 2020 at 10:14 PM #145 Christmas day was full of disgusting flashbacks. Yay, trauma strikes again.

Anonymous32451 Guest Posts: n/a	Dec 26, 2020 at 05:44 AM #146 our christmas day was spent alone, so we're glad it's over. nothing jumped out at us and screamed christmas really, though the littles watched 2 televised pantomimes which they enjoyed. we got a grand total of 3 christmas cards, all of them from charities- so not even people we knew.

Anonymous32451 Guest Posts: n/a	Dec 26, 2020 at 05:45 AM #147 we're also feeling pretty sick. our christmas dinner yesterday was. well. far from nice. we'll just leave it at that

Breaking Dawn Legendary Member Since Sep 2019 Location: USA Posts: 16,689 (SuperPoster!) 4 42.2k hugs given	Dec 27, 2020 at 12:45 PM #148 I keep learning.

Claritytoo Poohbah Member Since Dec 2011 Location: Long Island NY Posts: 1,272 12 11 hugs given	Dec 29, 2020 at 07:39 PM #149 I just had a very difficult time logging on. WTF! WTF! I barely get through the day and now I have to fking remember s@#t. Not good not good. I need help but I can't find a t who knows anything about DID. It's fked up. very fked up. I need help. I NEED HELP! I need need need need need need need need......

Claritytoo Poohbah Member Since Dec 2011 Location: Long Island NY Posts: 1,272 12 11 hugs given	Dec 29, 2020 at 07:46 PM #150 I don't have for ever. I don't know what to do to get peace of mind. Just someone to help us. Where the fk do I find someone to help us

Amyjay Magnate Member Since Mar 2017 Location: Underground Posts: 2,439 7 692 hugs given	Dec 30, 2020 at 04:24 AM #151 I don't know, Claritytoo, I wish there was help for you.

Anonymous32451 Guest Posts: n/a	Dec 31, 2020 at 11:12 AM #152 I wish we could sleep through the depression fest that is new year's eve. we're ending it on such a low that all we can think about is our failing health plus the littles (well all of us really), hate fireworks and we know they'll be some tonight. we live next door to a lot of kids, so..

Breaking Dawn Legendary Member Since Sep 2019 Location: USA Posts: 16,689 (SuperPoster!) 4 42.2k hugs given	Dec 31, 2020 at 11:35 AM #153 Recently I seem to be in a constant state of dissociation. I'm aware (at least most of the time), but I feel like I'm halfway here & halfway somewhere else.

Taylor27 healing from trauma Member Since Dec 2017 Location: Alberta Posts: 30,425 (SuperPoster!) 6 24.3k hugs given	Dec 31, 2020 at 03:45 PM #154 I feel like these days it's easier to dissociate and harder to stay present all day even though im aware of my surroundings. I have accepted the fact that this is something that I have had for a long time and ingored. I am glad that I have a good therapist and a good treatment plan going forward. Happy New Year everyone

Amyjay Magnate Member Since Mar 2017 Location: Underground Posts: 2,439 7 692 hugs given	Jan 02, 2021 at 03:39 AM #155 I am trying super hard to keep track of "being triggered" and to backtrack and find out what caused it. It's super hard to do! But interesting. I am learning things from it... I guess? I am definitely seeing patterns, at any rate.

Fuzzybear Wisest Elder Ever Member Since Nov 2002 Location: Cave. Posts: 96,331 (SuperPoster!) 21 81.2k hugs given	Jan 02, 2021 at 12:03 PM #156 __________________

Taylor27 healing from trauma Member Since Dec 2017 Location: Alberta Posts: 30,425 (SuperPoster!) 6 24.3k hugs given	Jan 02, 2021 at 12:49 PM #157 Feeling more productive today. I did some journaling,and slowly catching up on things that I neglected for the past two weeks.

Anonymous32451 Guest Posts: n/a	Jan 03, 2021 at 06:05 AM #158 feeling in pain. still struggling with basic tasks a lot

Breaking Dawn Legendary Member Since Sep 2019 Location: USA Posts: 16,689 (SuperPoster!) 4 42.2k hugs given	Jan 03, 2021 at 07:34 AM #159 I guess I dissociated yesterday. This morning I found something new pinned to my cell phone browser's top sites. It's about fantasy prone personalities & it fits me, so I'm considering what it says. I don't know why I googled it in the first place. Did I run into it accidentally? Did I learn about it from someone else's post here?

Breaking Dawn Legendary Member Since Sep 2019 Location: USA Posts: 16,689 (SuperPoster!) 4 42.2k hugs given	Jan 03, 2021 at 06:44 PM #160 This is the only place where I feel safe enough to reveal what seems to be unraveling about myself, after all these years. I am old & a child at the same time. I love so much & so many things. I feel so blessed to have the privilege to be here. I am a loner, always protecting myself. But I love you so much! If you only knew how important all of you are.