advertisement
Reply
Thread Tools Display Modes
continuosly blue
Veteran Member
 
continuosly blue's Avatar
continuosly blue has no updates.
 
Member Since: Oct 2011
Location: USA
Posts: 533
10 yr Member
55 hugs
given
Default Oct 01, 2015 at 06:11 AM
  #61
Hi All, I just went thru a living hell after my wife decided she wanted ' to go in a different direction ". I guess the old " to death do us part ' should just be thrown out the window.
It's obviously a long story and I will share parts as I go along. I'm not much of a typer so I try to keep things short. But let me say this. I was married a very long time and because of my personal mental and physical situation I didn't even see it coming. For ME all the clichés are correct. Blinded by love , etc... It is like a death in the family and that's how I have to look at it to go on. The mental anguish I went through , especially having BPD , is and was horrific. To be continued...
All you people out there get all the help you can. If you have any feelings left for him/her its going to be hard. If your the kind of person who doesn't have any feelings left and have a ' replacement " or look with confidence about moving on it probably will be somewhat easier.
continuosly blue is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
Curry, Grandessa

advertisement
continuosly blue
Veteran Member
 
continuosly blue's Avatar
continuosly blue has no updates.
 
Member Since: Oct 2011
Location: USA
Posts: 533
10 yr Member
55 hugs
given
Default Oct 01, 2015 at 06:28 AM
  #62
TO : GAMGIRL 31

Wow, your husband doesn't know how lucky he is to have someone who is trying to understand and keep the marriage together. Obviously if he wants to die he needs professional help. At the same time you need to be ready to move on with your life without him. See I was on the other side of this and got hit with a ton of bricks I didn't even feel ! You are being forewarned so get the help you need too.

Last edited by continuosly blue; Oct 01, 2015 at 06:31 AM.. Reason: Reply to proper post
continuosly blue is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Thanks for this!
Grandessa
Grandessa
Member
Grandessa has no updates.
 
Member Since: Oct 2016
Location: Midwest
Posts: 64
5 yr Member
68 hugs
given
Default Oct 18, 2016 at 01:54 PM
  #63
Quote:
Originally Posted by DocJohn View Post
This forum is for the support and discussion of those who are going through a divorce of separation and just need to talk to others.

DocJohn
Thanks! it was recommended I start a new thread. How do I do that?
Grandessa is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
RosieDee
Junior Member
 
RosieDee's Avatar
RosieDee has no updates.
 
Member Since: Dec 2014
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 15
8 yr Member
Default Oct 29, 2016 at 12:03 PM
  #64
Quote:
Originally Posted by 72sweetskeet View Post
I am brand new member effective today and I have just started the process of getting a divorce! It is so overwhelming! Any and all info that I can obtain will help me!!! I just came upon this site and extremely excited for the help and guidance of others here. Thank you all in advance!
Hi where do you live. Knowing that can help a great deal in starting the process. I'm also thinking about starting mine. RosieDee
RosieDee is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
RosieDee
Junior Member
 
RosieDee's Avatar
RosieDee has no updates.
 
Member Since: Dec 2014
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 15
8 yr Member
Default Oct 29, 2016 at 12:06 PM
  #65
Quote:
Originally Posted by 72sweetskeet View Post
I am brand new member effective today and I have just started the process of getting a divorce! It is so overwhelming! Any and all info that I can obtain will help me!!! I just came upon this site and extremely excited for the help and guidance of others here. Thank you all in advance!
Where do you live by the way. What can I help with.
RosieDee is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Wantmyhusbandback
Junior Member
Wantmyhusbandback has no updates.
 
Member Since: Dec 2016
Location: Up north
Posts: 11
5 yr Member
Default Dec 13, 2016 at 09:29 PM
  #66
Hi everyone I'm new here. Going through a separation right now going on 4 months. Been married for 21years.trying to work it out.
Wantmyhusbandback is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
Grandessa, Lost_in_the_woods, Skeezyks
Grandessa
Member
Grandessa has no updates.
 
Member Since: Oct 2016
Location: Midwest
Posts: 64
5 yr Member
68 hugs
given
Thumbs up Jan 15, 2017 at 08:33 PM
  #67
Quote:
Originally Posted by sharon123 View Post
I got a divorce after 31 years of verbal and physical abuse....I am a christian; what my church did to me (very long story)....spiritual abuse...but I managed as always to make something positive come from the ashes: www.churchabusepoetrytherapy.com

I am the moderator of an abused survivors' group; have written my memoir and my book of poetry (Sanctuary of the Soul) is in the process of publication. I am working hard to get on national tv to speak about verbal abuse (rarely recognized nor understood). it took The Verbally Abusive Relationship by Patricia Evans to save my life and sanity. I have also written a 25 page paper on verbal abuse and joined the American Counseling Association; hopefully they will eventually accept my paper.....1 in 3 women abused and every 9 seconds a woman is assaulted. These are global statistics.....

Went back to school at age 60 and won a scholarship; it wasn't academic, but what I wrote about my life.

I believe we are all here to make a difference, and I will never stop. Getting a divorce was the most excruciating, scary experience of my life; being alone is right next to death for me, but I keep on....keeping on!

I agree... divorce is by far and away the scariest and most excruciating experience, but I'm moving on
Grandessa is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Grandessa
Member
Grandessa has no updates.
 
Member Since: Oct 2016
Location: Midwest
Posts: 64
5 yr Member
68 hugs
given
Default Jan 15, 2017 at 08:50 PM
  #68
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jamielow View Post
I've just got my divorce papers today gutted I wanted to grow old with her I'm so lonely Ive gone to my bed and don't want to ever get out just curl up an sleep forever it don't feel I can go on
Just keep living until you feel alive again. Ask anyone and everyone for support.... ask them to live with you for awhile if need be.
Grandessa is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Grandessa
Member
Grandessa has no updates.
 
Member Since: Oct 2016
Location: Midwest
Posts: 64
5 yr Member
68 hugs
given
Default Jan 15, 2017 at 09:04 PM
  #69
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jamielow View Post
I've just got my divorce papers today gutted I wanted to grow old with her I'm so lonely Ive gone to my bed and don't want to ever get out just curl up an sleep forever it don't feel I can go on
Just keep living until you feel alive again. Ask anyone and everyone for support.... ask them to live with you for awhile if need be.
Grandessa is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Grandessa
Member
Grandessa has no updates.
 
Member Since: Oct 2016
Location: Midwest
Posts: 64
5 yr Member
68 hugs
given
Default Feb 14, 2017 at 11:06 AM
  #70
I hope you are doing better. We have to do what we have to do for awhile to manage the shock and pain. I drank a lot of alcohol and called people and sobbed while I was drunk. Now have a counselor, support group, and family and friends (despite drunken rants.) I completely fell apart. Almost 6 months have passed now and am doing much better. Joined a health club and got a personal trainer and am looking to move to a community with more people my age (I'm 63!) Divorce process coming to conclusion. My old life is gone.

You will eventually get out of bed... it's a process. You will get through this, but I know about the gut-wrenching pain.
Grandessa is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Thanks for this!
prad22
campervanman
Veteran Member
 
campervanman's Avatar
campervanman has no updates.
 
Member Since: Sep 2016
Location: Liverpool, United Kingdom.
Posts: 659
5 yr Member
Default Feb 14, 2017 at 11:41 AM
  #71
"Good on you Grandessa"

I have been divorced for 8yrs now! First few months was shear hell for me! (Thank god my 3 girls had grown up!) Could not sleep, eat, wash, go out, talk to anyone, looking for answers and stirring into the gas fire like a zombie!!!!!!!!!!!!

`NOW` Over the turmoil (Thank God) More barriers guarding my heart now!!!
Depression and anxiety has calmed down to a certain degree!!!

`I know that this will never happen again` CAUSE, I will stay on my own!!!!!

__________________
My home is my sanctuary and also my prison.
campervanman is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
Curry
 
Thanks for this!
prad22
Grandessa
Member
Grandessa has no updates.
 
Member Since: Oct 2016
Location: Midwest
Posts: 64
5 yr Member
68 hugs
given
Default Feb 19, 2017 at 01:27 PM
  #72
Thanks Campervanman (story behind that handle?)

I'm kind of excited by what I'm learning from this. Truth be told, I have a great life��

__________________
Grandessa is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Thanks for this!
prad22
Grandessa
Member
Grandessa has no updates.
 
Member Since: Oct 2016
Location: Midwest
Posts: 64
5 yr Member
68 hugs
given
Default Feb 26, 2017 at 09:45 AM
  #73
Flintstone is exactly right! My former husband gave me divorce papers 4 months ago after a 41 year marriage. Now I get to heal a "victim mentality" that I've had from childhood, where my mother victimized me and encouraged my 6 siblings to do so as well. An old trauma that is now revealed so it can be healed. Not easy, and like Jamielow, I was gutted and did not see this coming. Went straight back into the early trauma and was suicidal. Too much pain... more than I felt I could bear.

Doing better now, but still triggered. Now, more aware and beginning work on boundaries with the lifelong victim trauma.

Motto: keep living until you feel alive again.

__________________
Grandessa is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
Curry
 
Thanks for this!
prad22
auyeung
New Member
auyeung has no updates.
 
Member Since: Mar 2017
Location: Bangkok
Posts: 3
5 yr Member
Default Apr 01, 2017 at 07:29 AM
  #74
I just divorced in Jan 2017.
auyeung is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
Curry
George5364
New Member
George5364 has no updates.
 
Member Since: May 2017
Location: virginia
Posts: 2
5 yr Member
Default May 04, 2017 at 10:23 AM
  #75
I have a question....I was in prison for 50 months and 2 days. Upon my return, I found out that my wife had a relationship with another man during the 13 till the 23rd month of my incarceration. She never told me about it and I only discovered it through some emails that she failed to delete.
My question....did she cheat on me?
George5364 is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
prad22
New Member
prad22 has no updates.
 
Member Since: May 2017
Posts: 7
5 yr Member
Default Aug 15, 2017 at 11:38 PM
  #76
Quote:
Originally Posted by George5364 View Post
I have a question....I was in prison for 50 months and 2 days. Upon my return, I found out that my wife had a relationship with another man during the 13 till the 23rd month of my incarceration. She never told me about it and I only discovered it through some emails that she failed to delete.
My question....did she cheat on me?
No,,,,,,,,, definitely no
prad22 is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
prad22
New Member
prad22 has no updates.
 
Member Since: May 2017
Posts: 7
5 yr Member
Default Aug 15, 2017 at 11:40 PM
  #77
Quote:
Originally Posted by Grandessa View Post
I hope you are doing better. We have to do what we have to do for awhile to manage the shock and pain. I drank a lot of alcohol and called people and sobbed while I was drunk. Now have a counselor, support group, and family and friends (despite drunken rants.) I completely fell apart. Almost 6 months have passed now and am doing much better. Joined a health club and got a personal trainer and am looking to move to a community with more people my age (I'm 63!) Divorce process coming to conclusion. My old life is gone.

You will eventually get out of bed... it's a process. You will get through this, but I know about the gut-wrenching pain.
Appreciated...
prad22 is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Curry
Member
 
Curry's Avatar
Curry has no updates.
 
Member Since: Jan 2015
Location: Vancouver
Posts: 350
8 yr Member
1,078 hugs
given
Default Mar 30, 2018 at 01:03 AM
  #78
I got divorced two years ago. My ex has been cheating for six years and left me eight years ago and came back. I have a wonderful boyfriend. I am happy and don't have craziness in my life. I look at my ex and think no way would I like him back, I wouldn't even know how to spend time with him. I just can't let go of him. I feel like I am carrying a dead cat around by its neck, instead of skipping through the tulips of life. I think the hardest thing is for me to let go of someone who promised to love me and be there for me forever. He was nice the first year and looking elsewhere the next twenty seven. I think all his problems made him swear we were destined for each other, and all my problems made me hold onto his promise. I wanted to believe in someone and I kept my eyes shut and wished hard for such a long time. Maybe I can forgive myself and try again, just not with my eyes shut this time.
Curry is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
PattyCrocker
New Member
PattyCrocker has no updates.
 
Member Since: Apr 2019
Location: Oregon
Posts: 1
3 yr Member
1 hugs
given
Default Apr 03, 2019 at 01:32 PM
  #79
My divorce was final 12/2018 but we were separated since 1/2012.
How do I move on without comparing my new boyfriend to my ex?
PattyCrocker is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
EWash
New Member
EWash has no updates.
 
Member Since: Sep 2019
Location: Renton
Posts: 6
3 yr Member
Default Sep 21, 2019 at 01:40 AM
  #80
In limbo. Not divorced. Emotionally separating. Husband is throwing in the towel. This is his second marriage so it's easy for him to just give up rather than lean in. We have 3 kids. One is a baby. One has special needs. One is older. Devastated that he is cold and distant. Been angry about it.
EWash is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Books & resources on divorce & separation sunrise Divorce and Separation 5 Mar 31, 2008 12:11 AM
separation anxiety Gabby2007 Anxiety, Panic and Phobias 5 May 28, 2007 06:42 PM
Using the old separation to survive wisewoman Dissociative Disorders 6 Dec 04, 2006 09:00 PM
Separation Anxiety dac0976 Anxiety, Panic and Phobias 1 Aug 23, 2006 01:59 PM


All times are GMT -5. The time now is 06:25 AM.
Powered by vBulletin® — Copyright © 2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.



 

My Support Forums

My Support Forums is the online community that was originally begun as the Psych Central Forums in 2001. It now runs as an independent self-help support group community for mental health, personality, and psychological issues and is overseen by a group of dedicated, caring volunteers from around the world.

 

Helplines and Lifelines

The material on this site is for informational purposes only, and is not a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment provided by a qualified health care provider.

Always consult your doctor or mental health professional before trying anything you read here.