Divorcing a narcissist - Forums at Psych Central



advertisement
Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 10-17-2017, 06:51 PM #1
Tatyana2009's Avatar
Tatyana2009 Tatyana2009 is offline
Grand Member
 
Member Since: Nov 2009
Posts: 894
Tatyana2009 Tatyana2009 is offline
Grand Member
Tatyana2009's Avatar
Tatyana2009 has no updates.
 
Member Since: Nov 2009
Posts: 894

8 yr Member PC PoohBah!
Default Divorcing a narcissist

Hello. Any advice on separation from an abusive narcissist?
Tatyana2009 is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote

advertisement
Old 10-18-2017, 05:42 AM #2
continuosly blue's Avatar
continuosly blue continuosly blue is offline
Member
 
Member Since: Oct 2011
Location: USA
Posts: 467
continuosly blue continuosly blue is offline
Member
continuosly blue's Avatar
continuosly blue has no updates.
 
Member Since: Oct 2011
Location: USA
Posts: 467

5 yr Member
53 hugs
given
Default Re: Divorcing a narcissist

Quote:
Originally Posted by Tatyana2009 View Post
Hello. Any advice on separation from an abusive narcissist?
Been there, done that. My best advice from personal experience is to try and cut off all personal contact, if possible. Talk through your lawyer. And start building a new life just for yourself.
Hang tough and don’t let anyone bring you down.
__________________
Today is the first day of the rest of my life.

*Disclaimer * Anything I have posted is strictly my own personal opinion or experience , and is in no way, shape, or form
meant to portray a professional assesment of any kind.
CB
continuosly blue is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
"Thanks for this!" says:
Old 10-18-2017, 09:57 PM #3
Tatyana2009's Avatar
Tatyana2009 Tatyana2009 is offline
Grand Member
 
Member Since: Nov 2009
Posts: 894
Tatyana2009 Tatyana2009 is offline
Grand Member
Tatyana2009's Avatar
Tatyana2009 has no updates.
 
Member Since: Nov 2009
Posts: 894

8 yr Member PC PoohBah!
Default Re: Divorcing a narcissist

Thank you. We still live in the same house.
I m worried he will invent lies about me during the divorce
Tatyana2009 is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Old 10-20-2017, 09:45 PM #4
healingme4me's Avatar
healingme4me healingme4me is offline
Perpetually Pondering
Community Liaison
 
Member Since: Apr 2013
Location: New England
Posts: 46,180
healingme4me healingme4me is offline
Perpetually Pondering
Community Liaison
healingme4me's Avatar
healingme4me Needs a little reading lamp.
 
Member Since: Apr 2013
Location: New England
Posts: 46,180 (SuperPoster!)

5 yr Member
6,590 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Re: Divorcing a narcissist

Judges have seen and heard a lot. At the same time, many cases do not go to trial and much of the work is done with the mediators, who have also seen and heard a lot. When it comes down to it, it doesn't seem like they can be bothered by all the pettiness you fear aka his slander and lies.
healingme4me is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Old 10-21-2017, 06:36 AM #5
continuosly blue's Avatar
continuosly blue continuosly blue is offline
Member
 
Member Since: Oct 2011
Location: USA
Posts: 467
continuosly blue continuosly blue is offline
Member
continuosly blue's Avatar
continuosly blue has no updates.
 
Member Since: Oct 2011
Location: USA
Posts: 467

5 yr Member
53 hugs
given
Default Re: Divorcing a narcissist

Quote:
Originally Posted by Tatyana2009 View Post
Thank you. We still live in the same house.
I m worried he will invent lies about me during the divorce
I’d like to ad that I also had to live in the same house for a few years before I could move out. It was hell. Oh , there will be lies and slander for sure but that could be the least of your problems. Try not to be in the house as much as possible when he’s there. I had nowhere to go. No work , no friends , no family. It’s hard not to talk to somebody you slept with in the same bed with for years. I tried and it always turned into an argument. The emotional toll it took on me was beyond description. I pray you can find a way out.
__________________
Today is the first day of the rest of my life.

*Disclaimer * Anything I have posted is strictly my own personal opinion or experience , and is in no way, shape, or form
meant to portray a professional assesment of any kind.
CB
continuosly blue is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
"Thanks for this!" says:
Old 10-24-2017, 02:04 PM #6
justafriend306
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
justafriend306
Guest
justafriend306 has no updates. Edit
 
Posts: n/a

Default Re: Divorcing a narcissist

In my experience the narcissist in my life walked away with all the family and friends. They are master manipulators and extremely charismatic. They tend to place themselves at the center of attention and surround themselves with those who if not one of their hand picked hangers on would be treated as unworthy.

Be prepared for him to be painted as the victim. Be prepared to be cut off as people pick his side (they can't help it).

But is this not worth being free of the cycle of abuse?
  Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
"Thanks for this!" says:
Old 10-26-2017, 02:40 PM #7
Sarmas Sarmas is offline
Grand Member
 
Member Since: Apr 2016
Location: Ny
Posts: 860
Sarmas Sarmas is offline
Grand Member
Sarmas has no updates.
 
Member Since: Apr 2016
Location: Ny
Posts: 860

3 yr Member
712 hugs
given
Default Re: Divorcing a narcissist

Quote:
Originally Posted by Tatyana2009 View Post
Thank you. We still live in the same house.
I m worried he will invent lies about me during the divorce
I divorced one as well. He invented lies and he continues to lie to everyone. He’s very convincing to others. Just gather your evidence and stay aware. Don’t communicate anything with him. More info for him is more ammunition. Keep your distance and sleep with one eye open. It’s a horrible experience.
Sarmas is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Old 10-26-2017, 02:41 PM #8
Sarmas Sarmas is offline
Grand Member
 
Member Since: Apr 2016
Location: Ny
Posts: 860
Sarmas Sarmas is offline
Grand Member
Sarmas has no updates.
 
Member Since: Apr 2016
Location: Ny
Posts: 860

3 yr Member
712 hugs
given
Default Re: Divorcing a narcissist

Live your life as if he doesn’t exist. Turn the page.
Sarmas is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Old 03-13-2018, 09:02 PM #9
Mom2018 Mom2018 is offline
New Member
 
Member Since: Mar 2018
Location: Texas
Posts: 3
Mom2018 Mom2018 is offline
New Member
Mom2018 has no updates.
 
Member Since: Mar 2018
Location: Texas
Posts: 3

1 yr Member
Default Re: Divorcing a narcissist

Most of my husband's family is on my side. My husband called his sister last week, and she told him what she thought of him and abandoning his family, and for him never to call her again. He drained me of my childhood home, my retirement and blames me for the money problems we has, even though I have proof of his gambling and gaming as to where the money went.
Mine left the home, it has been a struggle to pay the bills. Money is tight, but I am doing it day by day, without any support from him what so ever.
There are days I just want to sit and cry because I am.so angry at the way he is treating our children. How does someone be with a child from birth to 11 years and just walk away and not talk to them for 4 1/2 months. I can only go a couple days and I have to hear their voice. With him it is out of sight out of mind.
Do not communicate with him or let your lawyer do the talking for you. Mine had a restraining order against me, and was still texting me and harassing me. His attorney had to tell him to stop contacting me.
Change the locks, ignore him.
Stay Strong!
Mom2018 is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Old 03-18-2018, 09:44 PM #10
MrMoose's Avatar
MrMoose MrMoose is offline
Member
 
Member Since: Nov 2015
Location: New York
Posts: 165
MrMoose MrMoose is offline
Member
MrMoose's Avatar
MrMoose has no updates.
 
Member Since: Nov 2015
Location: New York
Posts: 165

3 yr Member
52 hugs
given
Default Re: Divorcing a narcissist

Separating from an abusive narcissist is difficult: they don’t take rejection well. And if the ANarc has some sort of legal right to live in your home, there has to be a compelling legal reason to actually change the locks...as hugely tempting as that is... otherwise they have a right to call the cops. On the other hand, if you find yourself locked out or in...you have the right to call the cops, too...
Any lies and threats you may encounter are just there to control you—they aren’t the truth. Find people who keep you grounded in reality and who are good for you—they’re the first line of defense against a manipulator.
MrMoose is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off



All times are GMT -5. The time now is 12:17 PM.

Powered by vBulletin® — Copyright © 2000 - 2019, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.



 

advertisement

Psych Central Forums

Psych Central is the leading mental health website, overseen by mental health professionals since 1995.

 

Helplines and Lifelines

The material on this site is for informational purposes only, and is not a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment provided by a qualified health care provider. .

Always consult your doctor or mental health professional before trying anything you read here.
Please read the full disclaimer.