Am divorcing a Narcissistic to protect my children. - Forums at Psych Central



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Old 03-14-2018, 12:06 PM #1
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Default Am divorcing a Narcissistic to protect my children.

Was in the end of my 12th year of marriage, and was wondering why have I put up with all the crap over the last 8 years. I thought we wanted the same thing, home and family. What I did not realize till it was too late, my husband just wanted a ATM machine. As soon as the money ran out he was gone.
He mortgaged my childhood home to the hilt, and did not feel he should have to help pay the mortgage, because to him it was a 50 year old piece of crap house. His parents live in a million dollar lake house and own 8 cars.
When he gambled away over $20,000 of my retirement it was my fault because it was our money and I should not question how he spends our money.
When his 2007 Dodge Ram was repossessed in 2012, he took my 1999 Yukon. If I volunteered at my daughter's school, he would say "Why are you always there, they don't pay you!!"
When I needed gas money or food money and I took it out of the jars in our bathroom, he would go ballistic and scream not to touch HIS money, if I need money ask him for it.
He always threatened me with divorce, then later would say he was sorry he yelled, but it was my fault that he got angry.
He deserted us in May 2017, and asked for the divorce in Oct. I filed and before he was even served he was dating.
He said he needed love and to be loved, and that I chose our daughter's choir over him.
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Old 03-22-2018, 09:18 AM #2
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Default Re: Am divorcing a Narcissistic to protect my children.

Sorry to read this post (like so many of the others)
You have hit the nail on the head (!!) with this post.

Your account is accurate - & yes, as soon as you 'outlive your usefulness' you will be discarded

He mentioned love? He doesn't know how to - I feel sorry for 'the next in line' (aka "supply"), she has NO idea what kind of "species" she's dealing with. This "love" is conditional to need & use - which ISNT love. They are so masterful as mimicking life & emotions. The tragic thing is that they are down to nice people - & never to anyone like them. they hate themselves.

We all wonder why we put up, dont! its a slow boil ... try to recover & heal moving forward!
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Old 03-23-2018, 07:07 AM #3
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Default Re: Am divorcing a Narcissistic to protect my children.

I am so very sorry for what you've gone through and for what he's done to you. Narcissists are the most infuriating people to deal with and will leave you feeling filled with rage, injustice and their own poison. It's a cleansing process, really, to get rid of their mental and psychological poison. Yes, their love is not love. Their kind of love is abuse and they use people.

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Old 03-23-2018, 03:50 PM #4
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Default Re: Am divorcing a Narcissistic to protect my children.

Have you spoken to a lawyer?
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Old 02-08-2019, 09:08 PM #5
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Default Re: Am divorcing a Narcissistic to protect my children.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mom2018 View Post
He deserted us in May 2017, and asked for the divorce in Oct. I filed and before he was even served he was dating.
He said he needed love and to be loved, and that I chose our daughter's choir over him.
He hasn't really proven his love to you by treating you with dignity and respect.

He can't demand love from you while bypassing treating you with a basic respect.

Last edited by ennie; 02-08-2019 at 09:24 PM. Reason: add hug
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