Half sister issue.

When my dad was young, he had child with a one-night stand...
He took care of my half sister for years and when she was 16, she decided that she wanted to live with her mother and not my dad. My dad married my mom around that time and we haven't heard from my half sister since, (unless she was calling for money.)...

Recently, my mom was on FB and happened to read a message that my half sister sent her... Basically the message said, "I'm 44 years old now. I am a mother and a grandmother and I haven't seen my dad since I was 16. I don't understand how a parent could not speak to their own child for that long! I am also a step-parent, and as a step-parent, I would always encourage my man to stay active in his children's lives..."

Basically, she blamed my mom for not encouraging my dad to keep in contact with her. I can understand if she's mad that my dad wasn't active in her life, but she never reached out in 30-some odd years...

I want to reply to her... She's basically blaming my mom for her bad relationship with my dad instead of blaming herself. She mentioned in her message that my dad was a "great dad", yet she still seems upset for something that was partially in her control?

Should I say anything to her? Or should I just stay out of it?
I feel like I should say something, after all, she's trying to put the blame on my mom instead of on herself...

I don't think FB is the place to air out the family laundry. This so seems that your Dad should be talking about this with his other daughter if he so chooses. It's not your half sisters fault either. She was a baby from a one night stand. I would leave it alone.

Well, my half sister is in her 40s... She's never once tried to reach out to my dad for anything other than money.. When she was 16, she chose to abandon not just my dad, but our entire family. She severed all contact with her aunts and uncles and grandparents in our family.

And now she wants my dad to explain why he left her?!

She sent a private message to my mom through Facebook, so it's not being shared with all of our friends.

She puts blame on me and my mom for her mom and my dad never getting together. I think she was always resentful for being a one-night stand baby... But that doesn't change the fact that she chose to believe her mother's lies about my dad and she chose to sever contact with my dad's family.

She admitted herself in her message to my mom that, "he was a great dad", so I don't understand why she is feeling the need to attack my mom for [my half sister's] lack of correspondence with my dad.

I wrote her a message, but haven't sent it yet.

I'm just very upset that she waited soooo long to say anything. When I was born and when we lived in another state, my half sister never said a word. She'd literally only call my dad to ask for money. She even wrote on Facebook that, "[her] son was the only man in the "family" to take care of their kids"... Which, is a lie because my grandfather (whom she stopped talking to) raised his kids well, my uncle also was there for his children from infancy and STILL continues to provide for them even though they are well into their 30s. Even my own dad, whom she said herself, "was a great dad" has been there for her. He would have had custody of her, but she chose to live with her mother and sever ties with our family.

I know that she's very passive aggressive and that really pisses me off. My mom has nothing to do with her and my father's relationship. She was old enough to make a decision to stay in contact with the family and she chose not to. That's no one's fault but her own...

Don't send her a message. I know it's hard to see someone you love be insulted like that, but it will do no good to involve yourself. Don't get sucked into her drama. Take a deep breath. She's lashing out because she is not mature enough to take responsibility for her own actions... it won't do any good to try to reason with someone like that.

I'm personally of the opinion that it's the parents role regardless of age to maintain the contact and continuously try. However, everyone has their own scenarios. Her age, in my opinion, is on the young side for being a grandparent. And you are completely valid in the notion that these family/life wounds would be/need to be resolved by this point in life.

I'd perhaps "let it go" and move past the toxicity that it brings.

You dont know what happened to her after she went to live with her mom. It obviously was a bad decision. Maybe her mom forced her to cut ties with your side of the family?? Who knows. But this is not your fight. Stay out of it.

My mom gave my half sister my dad's number,
And she NEVER called.

My dad had a feeling that she wasn't serious about him being in her life. She just wanted a reason to complain...

My dad said that she's done this before, where she writes or calls and says something to the power of, "Why aren't you in my life?" And then when she's given the chance to actually talk to my dad, she refuses.

So I guess the issue is over?

This thread has been closed at the OP's request.