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Default Jan 25, 2019 at 04:27 PM
  #61
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Originally Posted by Azzurrella View Post
No, I didn’t talk so much of my situation with strangers, but I was really under stress. I’m also the woman who passed through that events, with rage and so on. I didn’t want to pretend I was different. And I thought it was not me who have to hide for what was going on. I had respect, always.
So I’m a little tired because of my job, and I know that when I’m tired I’m more fragile.
I try to be always in peace, to love other people. I find something good in everyone I meet, and I know a lot of great women and men. Who work hardly and harder than me. I hope I will be like they are.
And that these days will pass...
That's a beautiful and very insightful way to think! These days will pass, and better ones are coming! Keep telling yourself that
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Default Jan 25, 2019 at 11:27 PM
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Default Jan 25, 2019 at 11:28 PM
  #63
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Default Jan 25, 2019 at 11:32 PM
  #64
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Default Jan 25, 2019 at 11:33 PM
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Default Jan 25, 2019 at 11:33 PM
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Default Jan 25, 2019 at 11:35 PM
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Default Jan 25, 2019 at 11:35 PM
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Default Jan 25, 2019 at 11:36 PM
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Default Jan 25, 2019 at 11:39 PM
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Default Jan 25, 2019 at 11:40 PM
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Default Feb 02, 2019 at 04:53 PM
  #72
#rollercoaster
#seasickness
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Default Feb 02, 2019 at 05:05 PM
  #73
You only recently for divorced so I’d say you just have to give it time. It most certainly will get better. Just be gentle to yourself.
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Default Feb 07, 2019 at 03:44 AM
  #74
Dear All,
I succeeded in calling a therapist. Let me see if it will give me some benefit to heal from my wounds.
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Default Feb 07, 2019 at 04:10 AM
  #75
Congratulations, Azzurrella! It's a very important step. Be proud of yourself for that. I hope you'll receive the help you need and deserve. Remember that you're stronger than you think. You've got this. Wish you good luck! Let us know how it goes. Sending many hugs to you
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Default May 09, 2019 at 03:25 PM
  #76
Hi guys! Just to keep in touch with you...
I’m so tired because of my job that I have not any energy to think about how and why everything happened to me.... my ex husband is going to marry my ex friend, they are in a hurry, it seems they are frightened of losing their train...I don’t know, they are no long my matters.
I’m looking at my life like a movie on the television, I have no emotions, no happiness, no willingness, maybe also no pain. Nothing at all.
Delusion after delusion, I’m also no longer frightened (or unhappy) to be alone. I’m meaning, I’m very frightened to be alone for the rest of my life, when also my parents or relatives won’t be anymore....I will have anyone but one or two friends....and a lot of things to take care about... I’ll do my best and pay for a good insurance, because no one will take care of me... and I‘m really frightened.... but not to be inside a couple, now I don’t care. I don’t want anyone bothering me with jealousy or other strange things. I want to be myself. I don’t want to pretend to be something different in order to be appreciated and loved. I’ve lost my tolerance.
When I go to my job, in the early morning, I cry. But I can’t do anything to change things. I have to accept. Everything. And I’ll do.
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Default May 09, 2019 at 03:31 PM
  #77
I have met some guys interested in me, I thought. But everyone wants something, they are not able to give time and friendship, to meet me and decide what to be, they for me and me for them. This is a huge stress I really don’t need, now. So I’m bothered of such people, please come the next, I’ve no time or energy to lose. That’s me. Alone and tired. No matter to be a... bachelor?? Sorry!!
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Default May 09, 2019 at 04:32 PM
  #78
A person who cries every morning is not a person who has no emotions. Slow down and hear yourself. You are contradicting yourself. That's okay. You don't have to be perfectly consistent. But listen to how you are kind of double-talking. Then slow down.

You've lost a husband and a friend. It's a huge loss, but you've had some time to get used to it. You see that life does go on, though it may feel kind of empty. It will take time to fill that emptiness. Maybe a lot of time.

Don't be in a hurry to be back in a relationship. It sounds like you are not rushing into the arms of a new man, and that is good.

What you had was an illusion of being in a committed relationship. He was not committed. Now you know. You didn't lose a wonderful marriage. He was not a wonderful husband. You got fooled. It happens to the best of us.

I'm glad you have family that care about you. But you are right. They won't be around forever. You will need friendship in your life. I believe you can find it. There's a good chance you might even find love again. Don't focus mainly on men. Take an interest in the women you meet and be open to friendship. Some women don't have the capacity to be great friends. Accept people's limitations. You can have "minor" friendship with some. A friend doesn't have to be a very close friend to be worth having something to do with. Be open to different levels of friendship with different women. I'm not saying you can't be friends with a man, but that gets tricky. Do things with neighbors, with cousins, with whomever. But take an interest in people around you. Don't be impatient. Sometimes life moves ahead slowly. That's okay. Slow down your thinking.

You sound like a nice, young woman. There are nice people in the world around you who would enjoy getting to know you and who would value you. You just have to meet them. The more you circulate, the better the odds of you bumping into the "good ones." That's what statistics tells us. If you meet enough people, some will be good ones AND some will be bad ones. You're going to meet both kinds.

How do you tell "the good ones" from the "bad ones?" T i m e, and more t i m e. The only way to know someone is to spend time around them. Don't be in a hurry. Some people can seem so charming, you just want to trust them right away. Don't! Be slow to fully accept, and slow to fully reject. Spending time with someone means in their physical presence. Texting and emailing don't count. Don't rely on the Internet. Those ways of meeting people in cyberspace create illusions. You don't want to go back into another illusion.
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Default May 11, 2019 at 06:28 AM
  #79
I couldn't agree more with expanding the friendship base and having more women friends in life. Men are great, don't get me wrong, but having a circle of women to fall back on and lean on is a gem, no doubt in my mind. And it's true about accepting the limitations of certain friendships, but savoring the pieces of those.
It also helps in the sense that when the right man does come along, you will have a much stronger base of not relying or subconsciously expecting said man to be your everything and anything. Plus in its own way makes one more desirable just because it does add a dimension of mystery without being mysterious, per se.

Mend your heart and be gentle with yourself.
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Default May 30, 2019 at 12:13 PM
  #80
Hi.
Today I’ve seen the new wife-to-be of my ex husband. I have looked at her, in the same shop. No words between us. We used to spend time together as friends.

Now I would like to tell you something.
Please imagine how I felt while I was in our ex home alone, my husband absent, I could not know where he was, his mother pretended to not know where he was. And I was alone, with not an only word from him, he didn’t answer to my calls on the mobile. I was alone, without anything knowing, not what he was doing nor thinking to do. Alone in an empty house. She was hidding him in her house, with no respect for our friendship, but just succeeding in gripping him for herself, because he was rich and powerful. Now she has him, she’s proud of her.
And I had an husband that in 24 hours disappeared from my life. Changed my life, left me without an home and a family. I was desperate. I looked at the balcony, asking me if it was high enough to kill me suddenly. And they were laughing because I cannot found them, hidden in a house with high walls.
That was me.
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