How long? - Page 4 - Forums at Psych Central



advertisement
Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 12-27-2018, 10:35 AM #31
Rose76's Avatar
Rose76 Rose76 is offline
Wise Elder
 
Member Since: Mar 2011
Location: USA
Posts: 9,574
Rose76 Rose76 is offline
Wise Elder
Rose76's Avatar
Rose76 pondering what to do next.
 
Member Since: Mar 2011
Location: USA
Posts: 9,574 (SuperPoster!)

8 yr Member
4,043 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Re: How long?

Everything we go through in life counts as experience. Experience can be the source of wisdom. Wisdom makes life better.

May you be well in the new year.
Rose76 is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Hugs from:
"Thanks for this!" says:

advertisement
Old 01-01-2019, 04:29 PM #32
Azzurrella Azzurrella is offline
Member
 
Member Since: Nov 2018
Location: Italy
Posts: 42
Azzurrella Azzurrella is offline
Member
Azzurrella has no updates.
 
Member Since: Nov 2018
Location: Italy
Posts: 42

5 hugs
given
Default Re: How long?

Hi.
I feel ill.
One day Iím warmly up, one day Iím deeper down.
Iím a little tired of such up and down.
Iím shaked, Iím like on a ship in a hurricane.
The last event... My father tries to make me more reasonable, sayng that I would have to be happy with them, in this desert, far from everything and everybody...because when I will go back in the town I will be even more lonely than I am now.
I kindly requested him not to bother me anymore with his attempts of self-made therapist. I cannot struggle anymore with anything. I only hope to sleep and sleep and sleep.
But also sleeping is an effort.
I feel like a Santa Klaus of a trash movie, I have to hide myself, not to be recognized, with my luggage of thoughts that brings me down.
So tired.
Will it never end?
Azzurrella is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Hugs from:
"Thanks for this!" says:
Old 01-01-2019, 05:07 PM #33
healingme4me's Avatar
healingme4me healingme4me is offline
Perpetually Pondering
Community Liaison
 
Member Since: Apr 2013
Location: New England
Posts: 46,183
healingme4me healingme4me is offline
Perpetually Pondering
Community Liaison
healingme4me's Avatar
healingme4me Needs a little reading lamp.
 
Member Since: Apr 2013
Location: New England
Posts: 46,183 (SuperPoster!)

5 yr Member
6,590 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Re: How long?

That really stinks to not have the support you need from your father in order to rebuild your self confidence and to have the needed encouragement to regain your independence.

Of course getting out into the world to make new friends and have new experiences is going to be slow going at first. However, as Eskie, who writes here often will tell, moving accross country and making new connections was life changing in a positive way.

I'd don't think that even for myself, I would be where I am now in life, if I was under the shadow of either of my parents. Old friends live far away. I've made some newer connections through the years and have seen unexpected reconnections with extended family that weren't a prominent presence before.

It takes time to heal, but not being sequestered or geographically isolated matters.
healingme4me is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Hugs from:
"Thanks for this!" says:
Old 01-02-2019, 03:49 AM #34
Azzurrella Azzurrella is offline
Member
 
Member Since: Nov 2018
Location: Italy
Posts: 42
Azzurrella Azzurrella is offline
Member
Azzurrella has no updates.
 
Member Since: Nov 2018
Location: Italy
Posts: 42

5 hugs
given
Default Re: How long?

@all of you

Do you believe Iím on time to recover? Because of some financial issue after separation I had to come back to my parents. It is only temporary, but Iím frightened it has been the worst choice I could make. I suffer also because my ex said to me I always had done the wrong choice in my life, even if I studied with profit, Iím very good in my job, my new colleagues appreciate me and help me to be comfortable at work. Because me too, Iím helpful with every one I meet.
I feel like Iíve lost the last year of my life, as I cannot recover from this changement in my life. Iím not interested in a new relationship, I only would like to have a normal life.
Is it possible that everything Iíve done was the wrong thing? Why my ex did not help me to do the right choice? I asked his opinion, every decision was taken together.
I think he wanted only to hurt me. He cannot separate his job from his family, I was treated as a simple worker of his property. A worker not worthy, btw.
I need someone who could tell me that heís fool. His new fiancťe was more lonely than I am. So now I see there are no laws, no rules, no ethic, no moral, anything. I can just think that maybe me too I will steal the husband of a friend of mine, I must not desperate.
I did something for his friends, when they were in trouble. They only disappeared when I was.
I feel crazy.
Please tell me that Iím not.
If you have money, you can do everything. If you donít have, you have to be silent.
Is it possible that he told me I always took the wrong choice?
He was and he is so lucky in his life...he can built and destroy at his own pleasure, nothing matters.
I hate my home, my parents that make me crazy. I feel in a cage. That was another bad choice. I thought they would love and help me, as I could do. They are old and sick, Iím the only one for them. I could not stay were I was, it was too far away; and because I had not enough money to live. So is this another wrong chioce? Everything I do is wrong?
Is this only a bad period of my life or the mirror of my future?
I have to wear a mask every time I go in the world. Iím the envy of people, it seems I have no problems. No one knows how I feel, no one understands, so I cannot talk to anyone.
It is the contrary, people tell me their own problems, because Iím wise and strong.
Iím very tired.
I would like to know if Iím in time to heal from this hate, from this cage, from rage.
Thank you.
Azzurrella is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Hugs from:
"Thanks for this!" says:
Old 01-02-2019, 04:16 AM #35
healingme4me's Avatar
healingme4me healingme4me is offline
Perpetually Pondering
Community Liaison
 
Member Since: Apr 2013
Location: New England
Posts: 46,183
healingme4me healingme4me is offline
Perpetually Pondering
Community Liaison
healingme4me's Avatar
healingme4me Needs a little reading lamp.
 
Member Since: Apr 2013
Location: New England
Posts: 46,183 (SuperPoster!)

5 yr Member
6,590 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Re: How long?

So many step back for financial reasons and parents are a common stepping stone/path during a post divorce era. It's typically a safe place to land. Happens all the time.
I'd say continue creating your nest egg with work and the fewer bills that occur by virtue of staying with your parents. Keep working with your therapist to unravel the awful things that are replaying from your ex husband. Rebuild yourself -esteem and confidence.
It wasn't nice of him to run off and leave you for another woman. No it doesn't mean you are going to be like her?? Where did that idea come from?
healingme4me is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Hugs from:
"Thanks for this!" says:
Old 01-02-2019, 05:22 AM #36
Azzurrella Azzurrella is offline
Member
 
Member Since: Nov 2018
Location: Italy
Posts: 42
Azzurrella Azzurrella is offline
Member
Azzurrella has no updates.
 
Member Since: Nov 2018
Location: Italy
Posts: 42

5 hugs
given
Default Re: How long?

@healing

Because Iíve seen that being a good person doesnít premiate.
What Iíve learn from them?
That it is more useful and powerful to be egoist, to threaten, to lie, to deny ouselves than to be honest and good. Not to help anyone, is useless.
That me comes before than others, does not matter how many corps I will leave behind me.
Isnít it true?
I have really to stop questioning.
Maybe it will be useful to take something to sleep and stop thinking.
I cannot accept it was my fault.
I hate my parents telling me that the problem itís me, because I donít accept a life of sufference and desert, as many people have.
I only hope this rage will find another person to catch.
Azzurrella is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Hugs from:
"Thanks for this!" says:
Old 01-03-2019, 03:40 PM #37
Azzurrella Azzurrella is offline
Member
 
Member Since: Nov 2018
Location: Italy
Posts: 42
Azzurrella Azzurrella is offline
Member
Azzurrella has no updates.
 
Member Since: Nov 2018
Location: Italy
Posts: 42

5 hugs
given
Default Re: How long?

Ok. Today it is better. Iím amazed from this up and down in my mood, they are not normal. I see.
Todayís feeling: Iím so angry because...I know why, and it is a stupid matter. Hope I will let go away also that one.
It is an hard pathway, but I can succeed in.
Azzurrella is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Hugs from:
"Thanks for this!" says:
Old 01-16-2019, 04:03 PM #38
Azzurrella Azzurrella is offline
Member
 
Member Since: Nov 2018
Location: Italy
Posts: 42
Azzurrella Azzurrella is offline
Member
Azzurrella has no updates.
 
Member Since: Nov 2018
Location: Italy
Posts: 42

5 hugs
given
Default Re: How long?

Hi guys!
Everythingís ok?
Azzurrella is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Hugs from:
"Thanks for this!" says:
Old 01-18-2019, 01:01 AM #39
ennie's Avatar
ennie ennie is offline
Grand Member
 
Member Since: Oct 2018
Location: United States of America
Posts: 801
ennie ennie is offline
Grand Member
ennie's Avatar
ennie has no updates.
 
Member Since: Oct 2018
Location: United States of America
Posts: 801 (SuperPoster!)

1,712 hugs
given
Default Re: How long?

Quote:
Originally Posted by katydid777 View Post
I also don't know how long your divorce will take. It will take you some time to be ok about your divorce, and it will take time to date again. The hardest part of it all is waiting. Don't rush into another relationship, bc as a rule they don't work out!!!
I agree with this. Don't rush. You are vulnerable right now and someone might take advantage of that. Take some time with self-care and lean on the support of your female friends.
ennie is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Hugs from:
"Thanks for this!" says:
Old 01-18-2019, 03:05 AM #40
Azzurrella Azzurrella is offline
Member
 
Member Since: Nov 2018
Location: Italy
Posts: 42
Azzurrella Azzurrella is offline
Member
Azzurrella has no updates.
 
Member Since: Nov 2018
Location: Italy
Posts: 42

5 hugs
given
Default Re: How long?

Thank you.
So Iím thinking and thinking... and Iíve realized that my ex husband is a bad person I donít want anymore in my life, not to meet even at the supermarket. The woman heís with is a false person, even worse than he his. They have no moral, no respect for people, no love for people. So let them in their present or future mud.
Iíll be a...bachelor(?) Is it possible to use this term for a woman? I donít need anything, Iím quite good also alone, if the alternative is to stay in a ill relationship or to have someone not good near to me. I stop struggle, it is useless. People are really imperfect, and Iím tired of accepting all the rage, the sadness, the incapacity of doing something good from others.
Everyone I meet stands on his sofa waiting for something good in his life, otherwise crying on destiny and so on. I cannot tolerate anymore, I leave them with their problems, because they want to speak and speak, but nobody has time to listen. Being on the sofa....
What do you think about?
Azzurrella is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Hugs from:
"Thanks for this!" says:
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off



All times are GMT -5. The time now is 02:49 AM.

Powered by vBulletin® — Copyright © 2000 - 2019, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.



 

advertisement

Psych Central Forums

Psych Central is the leading mental health website, overseen by mental health professionals since 1995.

 

Helplines and Lifelines

The material on this site is for informational purposes only, and is not a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment provided by a qualified health care provider. .

Always consult your doctor or mental health professional before trying anything you read here.
Please read the full disclaimer.