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Old 01-25-2019, 10:40 PM #71
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Old 02-02-2019, 03:53 PM #72
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#rollercoaster
#seasickness
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Old 02-02-2019, 04:05 PM #73
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You only recently for divorced so Iíd say you just have to give it time. It most certainly will get better. Just be gentle to yourself.
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Old 02-07-2019, 02:44 AM #74
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Dear All,
I succeeded in calling a therapist. Let me see if it will give me some benefit to heal from my wounds.
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Old 02-07-2019, 03:10 AM #75
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Congratulations, Azzurrella! It's a very important step. Be proud of yourself for that. I hope you'll receive the help you need and deserve. Remember that you're stronger than you think. You've got this. Wish you good luck! Let us know how it goes. Sending many hugs to you
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Old 05-09-2019, 03:25 PM #76
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Hi guys! Just to keep in touch with you...
Iím so tired because of my job that I have not any energy to think about how and why everything happened to me.... my ex husband is going to marry my ex friend, they are in a hurry, it seems they are frightened of losing their train...I donít know, they are no long my matters.
Iím looking at my life like a movie on the television, I have no emotions, no happiness, no willingness, maybe also no pain. Nothing at all.
Delusion after delusion, Iím also no longer frightened (or unhappy) to be alone. Iím meaning, Iím very frightened to be alone for the rest of my life, when also my parents or relatives wonít be anymore....I will have anyone but one or two friends....and a lot of things to take care about... Iíll do my best and pay for a good insurance, because no one will take care of me... and IĎm really frightened.... but not to be inside a couple, now I donít care. I donít want anyone bothering me with jealousy or other strange things. I want to be myself. I donít want to pretend to be something different in order to be appreciated and loved. Iíve lost my tolerance.
When I go to my job, in the early morning, I cry. But I canít do anything to change things. I have to accept. Everything. And Iíll do.
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Old 05-09-2019, 03:31 PM #77
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I have met some guys interested in me, I thought. But everyone wants something, they are not able to give time and friendship, to meet me and decide what to be, they for me and me for them. This is a huge stress I really donít need, now. So Iím bothered of such people, please come the next, Iíve no time or energy to lose. Thatís me. Alone and tired. No matter to be a... bachelor?? Sorry!!
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Old 05-09-2019, 04:32 PM #78
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A person who cries every morning is not a person who has no emotions. Slow down and hear yourself. You are contradicting yourself. That's okay. You don't have to be perfectly consistent. But listen to how you are kind of double-talking. Then slow down.

You've lost a husband and a friend. It's a huge loss, but you've had some time to get used to it. You see that life does go on, though it may feel kind of empty. It will take time to fill that emptiness. Maybe a lot of time.

Don't be in a hurry to be back in a relationship. It sounds like you are not rushing into the arms of a new man, and that is good.

What you had was an illusion of being in a committed relationship. He was not committed. Now you know. You didn't lose a wonderful marriage. He was not a wonderful husband. You got fooled. It happens to the best of us.

I'm glad you have family that care about you. But you are right. They won't be around forever. You will need friendship in your life. I believe you can find it. There's a good chance you might even find love again. Don't focus mainly on men. Take an interest in the women you meet and be open to friendship. Some women don't have the capacity to be great friends. Accept people's limitations. You can have "minor" friendship with some. A friend doesn't have to be a very close friend to be worth having something to do with. Be open to different levels of friendship with different women. I'm not saying you can't be friends with a man, but that gets tricky. Do things with neighbors, with cousins, with whomever. But take an interest in people around you. Don't be impatient. Sometimes life moves ahead slowly. That's okay. Slow down your thinking.

You sound like a nice, young woman. There are nice people in the world around you who would enjoy getting to know you and who would value you. You just have to meet them. The more you circulate, the better the odds of you bumping into the "good ones." That's what statistics tells us. If you meet enough people, some will be good ones AND some will be bad ones. You're going to meet both kinds.

How do you tell "the good ones" from the "bad ones?" T i m e, and more t i m e. The only way to know someone is to spend time around them. Don't be in a hurry. Some people can seem so charming, you just want to trust them right away. Don't! Be slow to fully accept, and slow to fully reject. Spending time with someone means in their physical presence. Texting and emailing don't count. Don't rely on the Internet. Those ways of meeting people in cyberspace create illusions. You don't want to go back into another illusion.
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Old 05-11-2019, 06:28 AM #79
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Default Re: How long?

I couldn't agree more with expanding the friendship base and having more women friends in life. Men are great, don't get me wrong, but having a circle of women to fall back on and lean on is a gem, no doubt in my mind. And it's true about accepting the limitations of certain friendships, but savoring the pieces of those.
It also helps in the sense that when the right man does come along, you will have a much stronger base of not relying or subconsciously expecting said man to be your everything and anything. Plus in its own way makes one more desirable just because it does add a dimension of mystery without being mysterious, per se.

Mend your heart and be gentle with yourself.
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