How much sexual life is important in marriage? - Forums at Psych Central



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Old 04-13-2019, 10:34 PM #1
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Default How much sexual life is important in marriage?

Me and my husband have been together for 8 years, married for over 4 years. I wasn't that good wife(cooks well, take care of house well, etc/he's more organized and clean than me. And he prefers his food over my food.), but I tried to do better. But he has been very indifferent to me, even when I was in pain, crying, struggling with many things including him. He wanted me to get out of his house(separation), but I asked him to file a divorce and it will be finalized in December. We had many problems like other couples, but what I found out is that we may be sexually unfit. I don't have much experience before meeting him, so it took time to realize it, but my genitals are much bigger than his, so he doesn't seem to feel anything.( I have few experience before meeting him, but I don't think I can feel by penetrating.) He even didn't ejaculate, but when I was doing lots of exercise, I felt that it fits better(I think all my muscles got stronger), and he ejaculated. But anyway we did sex just less than 30 times in our marriage life and never did it in 3 years. Do you think sex is very important to men? I am attached to him, and earn minimum wage so it's painful process to me, but I think it was a good decision to divorce.
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Old 04-14-2019, 05:19 AM #2
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Default Re: How much sexual life is important in marriage?

hi catmatch

iím new here too and going thru the possibility of divorse, although i think iím a bit older than you.

thats a sad story, i feel for you.

iíll take a stab at this and say i think most men, especially under that age of 40, are for sure pretty interested in sex. some too much so and have an unhealthy sexual obsession. maybe thats due to todays sex obsessed tv shows and web porn. things seem different now rhan they were in the 1980-90ís.

iíve known a few guys that sex was pretty low on the list.

here is my breakdown form what i can tell:

25% put it lower that other things
25% put as a notmal part of life but it foesny rule their life

the other 50% are complover sexed and watch too much porn.

i could be wrong but its my perception over the course of 52 years of life.
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Old 04-16-2019, 06:25 AM #3
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Default Re: How much sexual life is important in marriage?

As much as both partners need and compromise on. I only read this posts title because I have had a huge struggle with this issue and donít want to trigger myself. Best wishes to you in success and health.
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Old 04-19-2019, 07:07 AM #4
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Default Re: How much sexual life is important in marriage?

I think every marriage is an individual situation. And then it breaks down to each individual who has their own basic needs , wants , feelings , desires etc.....
So itís very hard to say. You should know , after the amount of time that you have been with your partner, what he needs and what you need.
Of course men desire more sex than woman due to a built in mechanism to procreate. Then thereís just plain lust , addiction.
I think that this problem you describe should be brought to professionals. Like marriage counselors.
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Old 04-19-2019, 11:50 AM #5
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Default Re: How much sexual life is important in marriage?

Maybe i am in the minority but my husband and I are evenly matched. We have been together for 26 years- married for almost 24 and we both want it the same amount. I'd say we have sex about once a week. Sometimes more or less depending on if one of us is ill or something. Like now I am recovering from shoulder surgery so we have only done it once-very carefully.
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Old 04-20-2019, 03:32 AM #6
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Default Re: How much sexual life is important in marriage?

Ofcourse sexual life is the important part of life. It makes relationship more stronger day-by-day. As per my experience I love my partner when it comes to this point. He is very attached to me. Without sexual life you can spend your wedding time happily.
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