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Old 04-16-2019, 06:42 PM #21
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Default Re: Feel terrible

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Originally Posted by Gymgirl71 View Post
I just donít get why I miss this bozo 🤡 he is a total creep. I have not reached out except when I told him he can bring my things..
Humans are wired to attach from the moment we are born. Premature infants do not grow and thrive as well if they do not receive at least some physical touch while in the NICU. Our need for attachment still remains in adulthood.

Sometimes attachment is healthy and sometimes it's not (based on attachment styles we learned from our parents). You have indicated that your attachment to your ex-bf was unhealthy but it was still an attachment...not something you could just switch off as soon as the relationship ended. You need time and support to work through this loss and pain. I think you are being really tough on yourself. I have a feeling you'd be more understanding and kinder to another woman in a similar situation than you are toward yourself. That may be worth thinking about.
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Old 04-16-2019, 07:00 PM #22
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Humans are wired to attach from the moment we are born. Premature infants do not grow and thrive as well if they do not receive at least some physical touch while in the NICU. Our need for attachment still remains in adulthood.

Sometimes attachment is healthy and sometimes it's not (based on attachment styles we learned from our parents). You have indicated that your attachment to your ex-bf was unhealthy but it was still an attachment...not something you could just switch off as soon as the relationship ended. You need time and support to work through this loss and pain. I think you are being really tough on yourself. I have a feeling you'd be more understanding and kinder to another woman in a similar situation than you are toward yourself. That may be worth thinking about.
Yes I am usually hard on myself
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Old 04-16-2019, 08:03 PM #23
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Could you arrange someone to pick your stuff from him? Or can he drop it by your house when you arenít there? Iíd not want to meet him
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Old 04-17-2019, 06:51 AM #24
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Could you arrange someone to pick your stuff from him? Or can he drop it by your house when you arenít there? Iíd not want to meet him
Itís doubtful. I live in a secured apartment building so he canít get in without me letting him in. Itís ok, Iím planning on losing weight anyways so the coat will be replaced. Plus it was from an ex also. My therapist told me to just get a new one and not to see him. It will disrupt my healing process
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Old 04-19-2019, 11:26 AM #25
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Default Re: Feel terrible

I agree with your therapist. Sounds like it is time to move on from him.
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