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Old 04-16-2019, 08:24 AM #1
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Question Do you get your things back from your ex?

I have a couple things at my ex boyfriends house..he said he would drop off but thereís NO WAY I want to see him. He said some very cruel things to me, and seeing him would just rub salt in the wound.

Itís not something I need right now...perhaps after some time has elapsed and Iím healed, I can get my things.

What do you think?
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Old 04-16-2019, 01:49 PM #2
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Default Re: Do you get your things back from your ex?

Break ups are hard. Having our belongings returned or retrieving them is one of the niggling things that can either expediate or prolong..... or even prevent closure. I think if it were me, I would contact the ex and arrange a specific time for him to drop off or for you to retrieve your belongings. Should you feel uncomfortable seeing your ex again, its probably wise to have a friend with you to mediate the exchange. Allowing too much time to go by will only make it harder...and I fear if you wait too long you may never get your belongings back.
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Last edited by Quarter life; 04-16-2019 at 03:47 PM.
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Old 04-16-2019, 02:02 PM #3
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Default Re: Do you get your things back from your ex?

Sorry you are dealing with a break up. I had the opposite, an ex wanted some things of his that I had. It was a bad break-up as well, very nasty in the end, so I didn't want to see him. I ended up sending them to him via a mutual friend.
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Old 04-16-2019, 02:45 PM #4
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Default Re: Do you get your things back from your ex?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Quarter life View Post
Break ups are hard. Having our belongings returned or retrieving them is one of the niggling things that can either expedite or prolong..... or even prevent closure. I think if it were me, I would contact the ex and arrange a specific time for him to drop off or for you to retrieve your belongings. Should you feel uncomfortable seeing your ex again, its probably wise to have a friend with you to mediate the exchange. Allowing too much time to go by will only make it harder...and I fear if you wait too long you may never get your belongings back.
I am getting it this weekend..itís going to be awkward but Iím just going to be like thanks, take care..I donít want a hug from him. If he tries, Iím going to tell him Iím not comfortable doing that...I donít like the cruel things he says to me and I wonít hold a grudge, but I think he misrepresented himself big time
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Old 04-16-2019, 03:24 PM #5
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Default Re: Do you get your things back from your ex?

I never did get my favorite dark gray shorts back after my last breakup. I still had the similar pair of light grey shorts, but they werent the SAME, even tho they were identical except for the color! Every time i wore the pair i still had, i was reminded of the pair i no longer had. And i wear things like that until they are not even good for the rag bin.

We are talking over twenty years ago now. The shorts wouldnt fit me now. I GUESS im over it!
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Old 04-16-2019, 03:28 PM #6
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Default Re: Do you get your things back from your ex?

Quote:
Originally Posted by unaluna View Post
I never did get my favorite dark gray shorts back after my last breakup. I still had the similar pair of light grey shorts, but they werent the SAME, even tho they were identical except for the color! Every time i wore the pair i still had, i was reminded of the pair i no longer had. And i wear things like that until they are not even good for the rag bin.

We are talking over twenty years ago now. The shorts wouldnt fit me now. I GUESS im over it!
Iím reconsidering..I donít think seeing him would be good for me..not now, or ever
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Old 04-16-2019, 03:30 PM #7
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Default Re: Do you get your things back from your ex?

Ok, Iíve had many strange relationships and hereís a story of yet another one.

A guy I broke up with demanded I give him back a tube of lip gloss he gave me that he already had left over from his beauty salon from before we met. He demanded back a tube of lip gloss!!! I left it for him to pick up at my store and I wasnít there.

If your things arenít worth much money or sentimentally, and you donít want your final contact with him to be like that, blow it off.
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Old 04-16-2019, 03:40 PM #8
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Default Re: Do you get your things back from your ex?

Quote:
Originally Posted by TishaBuv View Post
Ok, Iíve had many strange relationships and hereís a story of yet another one.

A guy I broke up with demanded I give him back a tube of lip gloss he gave me that he already had left over from his beauty salon from before we met. He demanded back a tube of lip gloss!!! I left it for him to pick up at my store and I wasnít there.

If your things arenít worth much money or sentimentally, and you donít want your final contact with him to be like that, blow it off.
For my own sanity, Iím going to..
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Old 04-16-2019, 04:20 PM #9
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Default Re: Do you get your things back from your ex?

I'm so sorry you're hurting so much, Gymgirl71! I completely agree with what Quarter life and rechu! I'd suggest to you to listen to them as much as you can if you want to! They always give such KIND, GREAT, WISE, WONDERFUL ADVICE to EVERYONE, like in THIS CASE! I completely agree with them about talking to a friend about this and see how it goes from there! Maybe that could help! You could ask them to try to help you to get the things that you've left at his house or get them for you if they can! I'm sure they'll be glad to help you and that they'll understand your situation! If they can't do that, perhaps you could just ask him to just give to you a specific time and place to give to you the things you need to get back! Please NEVER give up HOPE! Try to HANG ON as much as you POSSIBLY CAN! I'm so sorry you have to deal with all of this, Gymgirl71!
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Old 04-16-2019, 08:07 PM #10
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Default Re: Do you get your things back from your ex?

I posted on your other thread. Can you ask someone to get your stuff? Or tell him to drop it off by your house/apartment when you are not home? No need to see him. And is it stuff of value? If not, let it go. Not worth it.
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