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Roxy1958
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Member Since: Apr 2019
Location: Ohio
Posts: 8
3 yr Member
Default Apr 27, 2019 at 01:22 AM
  #1
I should know how to deal with this but apparently I don't, my "SO" and I are in our early 60's. We have been in a relationship for about 4-1/2 years and have been engaged for about 2 years? We are not living together bc we live just over an hour away from each other and naturally both work close to where we each live. I cannot physically make the 90 minute drive from his home to my office without falling asleep driving. (I get up at 4:00a when I have to make the drive) I literally plan enough time into my commute to stop at a rest stop and take a 15 minute power nap each time I make the drive. He says I can quit my job and he will support me financially, but since I can retire in about 5 yrs, I don't want to do that. He has a farm so logically he can't move. We have not been able to reach a compromise yet. The problem is he is very discouraged and lonely so about a month ago broke off our engagement saying he wants to get married and doesn't know if we ever will. He says he still loves me but...Needless to say, I am devastated. Because he does want to get married, and his "advanced" age (??) he immediately posted a profile to an online dating site. For various reasons, I sincerely doubt he has had much success on the dating front. Because I was so hurt, when I found out, I then posted my own profile, and he knows about it because I was notified that he looked at it. For the first 2-3 weeks after we broke up I sent him a couple of emails and texts...most of which he simply ignored. The last email I sent was more business in nature, did he have his credit card, that I normally carried and used. I could not find it and if he didn't have the card it would need to be reported as missing. Later that day he sent me a text that he did have the card. He also wanted to know how I was doing. (I said I had been better). He then said he was sorry and could we be "friends"? I told him yes (under duress) but that he was going to have to initiate any contact. I did not hear anything from him for 2 weeks, (and I never contacted him) but during that time I noticed that anything I posted on FB, he began to "like". Neither of us are huge FB users, we just use it to keep in contact with family, grandkids, and a few friends. Then on Easter Sunday he texted me in the morning, Happy Easter. I eventually responded to his texts with the same greeting, well wishes to his family etc. Then he said he had seen the pictures on my daughter in laws FB page from my grandsons birthday party the day before and it looked fun. I responded that it was and made a couple of comments about the party and my grandson. He responded smiling and said he was glad all was going well for him. I thanked him and that is when the communication stopped. I have not heard anything else from him, but as of 2 days ago he is still "liking" my FB stuff.

Naturally, I want his sudden interest to mean that he is rethinking our breakup. In my mind, anytime I have ended a relationship that was not mutual, and the other person wanted to be friends, I might have said yes, butl I never contacted them, it was uncomfortable for me and painful for them. My question to anyone who is reading this is to "read his mind", does he really just want to be friends, or is he possibly rethinking his decision to end things?

I should mention that while it is not alot of significant stuff, we have never exchanged the stuff that each of us has at the others home. In fact I am storing a boat trailer on his property that will need to be retrieved at some point. He has told me on a couple of different occasions that he is in no hurry to have it moved.
Does anyone have any thoughts or ideas? Thanks.
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