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Member Since Aug 2018
Location: Midwest
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#1
Someone important to me is at his wit's end and I fear he may think suicide is the only way out. He did not have legal representation at the divorce (several years ago) and his wife was awarded child support & alimony. Kids are now adults and he's up to date on what he owes her. He served her papers because the alimony has no end date and he cannot afford it (he is blue collar, works hard but does not make a lot). Now the ex may try to get even more out of him (since he opened the door by filing against her) - she claims to be disabled and has signed over her home to their daughter so she can show very few assets.
It doesn't seem like there's a good outcome from this. He could try to cancel his action against her so she doesn't try to get more out of him, but then he's in the same boat he's been in plus he owes money to the lawyer. If she does try to get more out of him, I have some capacity ($) to try and help him fight it but I don't know if there's much chance things can get better, like getting the alimony stopped or reduced. It feels pretty hopeless. Yes, he made a big mistake in not having a lawyer when they divorced, but should he have to pay for a mistake like that for the rest of his life? Does anyone have suggestions for a website where I could learn more about the legal process in situations like this? Are there any men's advocacy organizations that can help? I've been thinking about other ways that he might consider dealing with this. I think there would be some satisfaction if he could somehow get other people to see what an evil person she is - I believe she is just trying to make him as miserable as possible, she is trying to "win." I don't know if her family or community could have any sway with her, but if she were treated as the pariah that she deserves to be treated as, at least she would pay some sort of price for trying to destroy him. He's not perfect, but he tries very hard to do the right things. He does not deserve this. Maybe we could write a book about this or blog or something. Thanks for listening. |
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Anonymous43949, MickeyCheeky
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MickeyCheeky
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#2
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By law, is she forbidden from getting cash from her ex-husband if another man is supporting her? If so, can you find out if she has re-married or in a domestic partnership with another man? |
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MickeyCheeky
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MickeyCheeky
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#3
What state do you live in? Maybe I can help/
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MickeyCheeky
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MickeyCheeky
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Member Since Aug 2018
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#4
The issue is happening in Missouri. Yes, I agree, the unlimited alimony is ridiculous, but that's what happened since he didn't have a lawyer and she did and she wanted to make him as miserable as possible. She is not re-married and not being supported by a man as far as I know.
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Anonymous43949, MickeyCheeky
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#5
I found this:
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Anonymous43949, MickeyCheeky
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MickeyCheeky
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#6
I wish I've had more legal advice to give to you and your friend, G lady! I'm REALLY HAPPY that sarahsweets was able to look for some information about that at least! Hopefully that will help a little bit! It's certainli HORRIBLE that your friend is getting humiliated like this and I certainly hope that you'll BOTH be able to find a solution! You're BOTH in my thoughts and prayers! I hope things will work out for him! Let us know if there's ANYTHING AT ALL that we can do to HELP YOU OUT and WE'LL DO IT! THAT'S A PROMISE! Please keep us updated on your and your friend's situation AS MUCH AS YOU POSSIBLY CAN IF YOU CAN AND WANT TO, OK? I HOPE THINGS WILL GET BETTER SOON FOR YOUR FRIEND! WISH YOU THE BEST OF LUCK TO YOU BOTH! Sending many AWESOME, kind, safe, sweet, warm, wise and WONDERFUL HUGS TO YOU AND YOUR FRIEND, G LADY, JUST LIKE YOU BOTH ARE! PLEASE BELIEVE THAT AS MUCH AS YOU POSSIBLY CAN BECAUSE IT IS TRUE AND PLEASE REMEMBER THAT AS MUCH AS YOU POSSIBLY CAN BECAUSE IT IS TRUE AND YOU BOTH KNOW THAT EVEN IF IT'S DEEP DOWN INSIDE YOU!
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Anonymous43949
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#7
Can he find a "no win no fee" lawyer? Is there a blue collar trade union he can join which provides legal help? Are there any legal aid organisations in your town?
It seems worth doing a bit of digging around advice organisations to get opinions/ referrals, since from what you say he should have a good case. I know it's triggering to not have the money that you need to solve the problem of not having the money, & etc - but that is what trade unions and advice organisations are there to provide. Even, I once got great advice from a debt counselling organisation that happened to have someone with legal experience on board. I called a heap of supposed debt advice people who were useless, then I chanced on a well-informed place. It's worth trying everything you can find, and then some. Good luck!!! __________________ *"Fierce <-> Reality"* oh god I am struggling today, help me to remember how to stay connected and human! remember: the nut shell against human predators and my own fear! |
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Anonymous43949
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Location: Midwest
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#8
Thanks for the info and support!
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#9
The best person for him to get advice from is an attorney.
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