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PurpleRutabega
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Default Aug 27, 2019 at 11:54 AM
  #1
He makes 6 figures, and has hired an attorney.

I've been wife and mother for 14+ years, out of the workforce. I have zero resources on my own... Legal Aid helped me with initial paperwork, but that was all they could do.

I'm going for sole parental responsibility/no timeshare, due to abuse by him. I've got stacks of written documentation -- a lot of it confessions from him -- going back several years.

He's now filed this stupid thing asking for retro-active timesharing (since he hasn't seen the kids since April 1), and making these bizarre and unfounded accusations against me. (like that I stopped my oldest from going to counseling "unilaterally"... oldest wasn't IN counseling when we were together, and is, now.)

I feel sick. This abusive is going to get access to the kids again. Just because there's no police record.
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eskielover
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Default Aug 30, 2019 at 10:05 AM
  #2
Praying the judge will listen to facts & not just your H because he has a lawyer

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MrMoose
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Default Aug 30, 2019 at 09:47 PM
  #3
Hi Purple—
Remember that there’s a big difference between:
— the c**p he threatens you with when he’s trying to control you with fear and manipulate you, the things he accuses you of doing, all the idiocies that come out of his mouth, none of which need responses (you do not need to justify or excuse or explain yourself—it’s only an invitation for more abuse).
— the things he or his lawyer do legally—in court, in paper form, and so on, which need PROOF or at least some kind of legal justification, at which point you will have an opportunity and a couple of weeks to respond.
Just from hanging around divorce court (NOT a great place to be) has taught me that shenanigans from any side are recognized as shenanigans by everyone there because they see this kind of behavior every day they come to work, several times a day. (After my wife started telling everyone in the court what they should be doing, even the court officer got involved and told her to sit down and shut up).

two suggestions: make sure your paperwork and any proof is out of the house in a safe place he can’t take it from—a trusted friend, your Mum.
I read one book about splitting from an abuser (I’m sure there are many more): “Power: Surviving and Thriving After Narcissistic Abuse” by S. Arabi. And keep reading the articles and posts at Psych Central—information and understanding will help you.
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PurpleRutabega
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Default Nov 24, 2019 at 10:04 PM
  #4
So... #(%^_@ got visitation with our youngest, but not our oldest (who was in a Behavioral Health center at the time of the hearing).

Sat there and obviously purjured himself... no one cared.

I was barely allowed to speak. His attorney bounced all the evidence I tried to present on what seemed to me spurious grounds, and the magistrate let her.

He told obvious lies (In one breath, "I'm paying the electic bill", which is true. When he was asked if what he was paying was covering the full amount he said, "I don't know. They won't give me access to the account information as I don't have the account number." Really? Then how are you paying the bill? But I wasn't allowed to say anything.)

Only good news is that since then, I've been able to hire an attorney.
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