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Member Since Dec 2019
Location: Calgary
Posts: 2
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#1
Hi Everyone. I have no one to talk to and just need my story out there. I'm still married to the woman I love with a 3yrld and 7yrld. I've always been faithful and try insanely hard everyday to do what she wants to make her happy. Typical day for me...get up, make breakfast, get my 7yrld ready for school, take him, take my younger one to the library or park, make lunch, usually prepare dinner so it's easy for my wife to feed them later, clean around the house, go to work, come home, get them ready for bed.... Everyday I do this and usually take them to sports classes or dance twice a week. Then I do something fun on the weekends... I feel like I'm being taken advantage of. My wife usually does the laundry but I've been doing that the past month too. She says she has no time but she has time 6am to about 3 or 330pm everyday!
Now, I know I'm not perfect but I try to be better everyday. But I have no bad habits aside from eating chocolate. I'm healthy, sporty, and love my family more than anything and always try to get us to a counselor for help. I try to do everything and I'm proud of what I can do. I have an amazing job, working 30hrs a week an make 6 figures. My wife has not worked much for the past 7 years, I really wish she would because she's not a stay at home mom type person and always breaks down and can't handle the for more than a few hrs. I'm often afraid to come home knowing she'll be in tears. NOW, here are the big issues.....She spends $500 or more per month on wine. Drinks every night and becomes violent, mean, obnoxious, etc.. 1 bottle or more pee night, has to be at least 14% alcohol. A few years ago was asleep in her Van passed out. Another time I had to hold her down to keep her from hitting me, she hit my ear so bad she blew my eardrum and J was bleeding and didn't hear right for a year. 2nd, she's extremely jealous. If we are at a beach and a good looking woman in a bikini is near, she'll make us move...I have no interest and my wife is gorgeous to me! There are many crazy examples. 3rd, She's horrible with money, she sold her previous house, had about 250000 and burned through it on I don't know what in About 4 or 5 years. She didnt have insurance on her house for 2 years and the mortgage company found out. I had to get her insurance. She didnt pay her water bill forever, so I had to pay $3000 for it. I pay all our bills, mortgage, food, etc and she has the nerve to always call me cheap. I bought her s $90 pair of sunglasses (which she liked) along with other stuff for Christmas and she found out the glasses were $90 and made me return them to by her a $250 Kate Spade pair. I spent $500 on gifts for our kids and she spent another $2000 on gifts for them without telling me! Finally, she's had some stress this year from family and she snapped. One day she suddenly was accusing me of everything like having a other instagram account, I showed her it was some other guy. Then she started saying there are cameras all over our house and acting insane saying there are videos of us online. She even took videos in the park of other parents she said were videoing our kids.... I honestly think she is a paranoid schizophrenic. She seemed to get better and couldn't believe she was even hallucinating. She said she'd get help but still hasn't. The oast 2 weeks she says she wants to split up. I don't know how I still have the strength to try but I still remember the great things about her and I still love her. Am I insane? Should I give up? Seems like I'm the only person willing to try in our relationship. I'm so worried for our two amazing kids. If I knew 100% I'd get custody I'd be a little less scared. But I have no idea how it will work. It would make sense I would. But I'm sure she'll make up something. Thanks for letting me tell my crappy story. Not having anyone to talk to has killed me but I needed to let it out. Forgot to say, now she will only text me not talk and locks herself in our room and won't see me. Even spent a couple days at an airbnb. Not a good way to welcome the new year. Thanks again. |
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Purple,Violet,Blue
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Skeezyks
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#2
Hello Feelnscared: I see this is your first post here on PC. Welcome to Psych Central. One additional forum that may be of interest here on PC is the Partners of People & Caregivers forum. Here's a link:
https://psychcentralforums.com/partn...ivers-support/ And then, since you're a dad, the Healthy Parenting forum may also be one to check out: https://psychcentralforums.com/healthy-parenting/ I'm sorry you are having such a difficult time. Hopefully coming here to PC can be of some comfort & support. You wrote you feel you're being taken advantage of & you asked (I presume rhetorically) if you're insane. Of course you're not insane. It sounds to me as though you're doing a remarkable job of bearing up under extremely difficult circumstances. I guess I personally wouldn't say you're being taken advantage of either though since that would suggest your wife is doing what she's doing intentionally. And, although I'm not a mental health professional, I personally doubt that is the case. Based on what you wrote it sounds as though your wife is seriously mentally ill & in that case perhaps not able to consciously make the decision to take advantage of you. Unfortunately in terms of how that affects you, either way, it's the same. And sadly unless & until your wife decides to seek the treatment she needs little, if anything, may be likely to change. So there may come a point where you will be forced to make some decisions regarding your marriage. I'm sure this will be agonizing for you. Here are links to a selection of a dozen articles, from Psych Central's archives, that touch upon some of the concerns you raised in your post: Top 10 Signs of Schizophrenia | Psych Central Paranoid Schizophrenia | Symptoms & Diagnosis | Psych Central Ten Things To Do When Everything Erupts | Bipolar Update 8 Ways To Cope With Someone Who Has Delusions | Caregivers, Family & Friends https://blogs.psychcentral.com/careg...dium=popular17 https://blogs.psychcentral.com/careg...dium=popular17 https://blogs.psychcentral.com/careg...hout-fighting/ https://psychcentral.com/blog/10-tip...ental-illness/ https://psychcentral.com/blog/how-to...dium=popular17 https://psychcentral.com/blog/11-way...-denial/?all=1 https://blogs.psychcentral.com/welln...rom-an-expert/ https://blogs.psychcentral.com/welln...artner-part-2/ My best wishes to you & your family. I hope you find PC to be of benefit. __________________ "I may be older but I am not wise / I'm still a child's grown-up disguise / and I never can tell you what you want to know / You will find out as you go." (from: "A Nightengale's Lullaby" - Julie Last) Last edited by Skeezyks; Jan 01, 2020 at 03:23 PM.. |
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Location: New Jersey
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#3
Hi @Feelnscared:
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You are going to have to give her consequences for the sake of your children. Even if you think everything is hidden from the kids they know. __________________ "I carried a watermelon?" President of the no F's given society. |
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New Member
Member Since Dec 2019
Location: Calgary
Posts: 2
4 |
#4
Thanks for the info.
Sarasweets, I would say she's done less an less over the past 8 yrs. Now, I feel like I'm doing about 90%. They are our kids. We just both had houses before we met and after going through so many troubles renting it with hers, she finally sold it. But sive helped her the past 8 yrs maintain it and put a tonne of money into it for renovations before being sold. It's amazing what alcohol can do to her plus she's very petite and about 5" tall so I'm sure that makes it worse. Everyone in her family drinks alcohol like water. I would say she wasn't bad when I met her but after our first child it really started to get out of control. I don't think the the jealousy is from the alcohol though she was really bad when I met her and I thought she'd get better but hasn't. I'm literally one of the most faithful people on the planet. Plus the recent breakdown she had where she thought cameras were everywhere was like something out of a movie. It was unbelievable. Right now it is like a rollercoaster, yesterday was great, today awful. Thanks again |
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Jan 2011
Location: Australia
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#5
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