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Newly Joined
Member Since Jan 2020
Location: Texas
Posts: 2
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Jan 31, 2020 at 08:58 PM
#1
So I'm 2 months into a breakup that's tearing me apart because of my codependent traits. She is narcissistic and now that I'm used up financially and emotionally she left me to live with her daughter 3 hours away from me and I am going out of my mind. She had told me that we could work on things maybe if I moved there so I start making plans. Then she gets me to Loan her money a week ago being very nice and understanding. Now she wont pay it back and I need it and is restricting our communications. She text me tonight that she was getting a home massage and then going out to dinner. She is seeing someone I believe already and it is tearing me apart inside. I am going crazy thinking about her being with someone else and I dont know how to stop it. PLEASE SOMEONE GIVE ME SOME TIPS ON WHT TO DO TO MAKE IT STOP. BEFORE I DO SOMETHING STUPID LIKE DRIVE DOWN THERE.
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 bpcyclist, Freebird818
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 Skeezyks
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Disreputable Old Troll
Member Since Oct 2015
Location: The Star of the North
Posts: 32,762
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Feb 01, 2020 at 03:31 PM
#2
I'm sorry you are having such a difficult time with this. Hopefully you were able to resist the urge to "drive down there.") You asked for some tips on how to make "it" stop (presumably your thoughts regarding your ex's going out with someone else.) Unfortunately there is no way to make thoughts stop that I know of. The key is to learn to allow them to come up (because they're going to anyway) & then let them drift away at their own pace without getting hooked.
Here are links to 6 articles, from PC's archives, that offer tips for coping with obsessive, intrusive or just plain stuck thoughts along with a link to an article on the subject of rumination & one that talks about how to sit with painful emotions: Coping with Obsessive Thoughts How You Can Overcome Intrusive Thoughts | Dialectical Behavior Therapy Understood 7 Ways to Stop Obsessing Some Ideas to Help Stop Obsessing 5 Ways to Free Yourself From Dark and Obsessive Thoughts https://psychcentral.com/blog/9-ways...tuck-thoughts/ https://psychcentral.com/blog/8-tips...dium=popular17 https://psychcentral.com/blog/how-to...nful-emotions/ 
__________________ "I may be older but I am not wise / I'm still a child's grown-up disguise / and I never can tell you what you want to know / You will find out as you go." (from: "A Nightengale's Lullaby" - Julie Last) |
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| bpcyclist
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Jan 2011
Location: Australia
Posts: 3,260
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Feb 05, 2020 at 03:20 PM
#3
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