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DaddyWhale
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Default Mar 05, 2020 at 08:19 PM
  #1
Hi. I'm so glad to have found this forum!

I'm going through a terrible divorce. There are two children (boys, one 14, the other 11) who have been caught up in this. The process was initiated by my wife over a year and a half ago. The court date is in a month or so. It's dragged on so long!

Prior to the divorce filling, my wife got a restraining order to kick me out of my home and my children's lives. I have not seen my eldest in almost two years and my wife pushed to not allow me to visit with my youngest without a supervisor present. In the almost two years, I've seen my youngest 4 times for an hour each.

I'm really hurting and feel lost. That's my reason for joining this community of yours.

And now to my request, which I've googled on but with no success. Would any of you know of in-person support groups for divorced/divorcing dads? Online is great, but sometimes you need to be physically present to discuss these things. I live in the Providence, RI area.

Well, that's my first post. Thank you for reading!
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Yaowen
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Default Mar 06, 2020 at 12:04 PM
  #2
Hi DaddyWhale,

I want to welcome you to these Forums.

My English is not very good, but I want to express to you how very, very sorry I am for the ordeal you are experiencing and have experienced. It is utterly heartbreaking to read of it and how much more heartbreaking to actually be living it.

Since I don't know much about what is going on in the United States of America, I hope others here will have useful information on in-person support groups for divorced/divorcing dad in Providence RI.

My heart goes out to you in your grief and anguish and I wish you only good things! -- Yaowen
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DaddyWhale
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Default Mar 06, 2020 at 12:39 PM
  #3
Quote:
Originally Posted by Yaowen View Post
Hi DaddyWhale,

I want to welcome you to these Forums.

My English is not very good, but I want to express to you how very, very sorry I am for the ordeal you are experiencing and have experienced. It is utterly heartbreaking to read of it and how much more heartbreaking to actually be living it.

Since I don't know much about what is going on in the United States of America, I hope others here will have useful information on in-person support groups for divorced/divorcing dad in Providence RI.

My heart goes out to you in your grief and anguish and I wish you only good things! -- Yaowen
You are very kind, Yaowen! (And your English is perfectly fine!) Thank you for the warm welcome.

In terms of in-person support, I continue to look around, and my psychiatrist may also be able to help. I'm casting my net as wide as possible.
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Smile Mar 06, 2020 at 04:45 PM
  #4
Welcome to Psych Central, DaddyWhale. Since I don't live anywhere near Rhode Island I wouldn't have any suggestions regarding support groups for divorced dads. Perhaps there will be other members, here on PC, who will have some suggestions they can offer.

Here are links to 8 articles on the subjects of divorce as well as on children & divorce, from Psych Central's archives, that may be of interest:

How To Deal With Depression After Divorce: 5 Actionable Tips

7 Ways to Beat Depression After a Divorce

5 Helpful Ways to Cope With Post-Divorce Depression

What to Do When You Feel Lost After Divorce

Kids and Divorce: Ten Tough Issues

https://pro.psychcentral.com/exhaust...-need-to-hear/

https://psychcentral.com/lib/how-par...dium=popular17

https://psychcentral.com/lib/the-poi...f-their-fight/

I hope you find PC to be of benefit.

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"I may be older but I am not wise / I'm still a child's grown-up disguise / and I never can tell you what you want to know / You will find out as you go." (from: "A Nightengale's Lullaby" - Julie Last)
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Default Mar 08, 2020 at 11:53 AM
  #5
So what happened that she got a restraining order?

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partyofone
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Default Mar 12, 2020 at 10:14 AM
  #6
I don't know the details of your situation, DaddyWhale, but no matter what: What you're going through sounds so, so difficult.
Unfortunately, I'm also no where near RI, so I can't help you there either.
What I can say is that I'm also going through a painful divorce after 33 years of marriage, and I think that--no matter what's involved--we just have to go through things rather than around them
You sound like you're making a real effort to do that.
I know just from my own experience that Meetup and Divorcecare (online) list support groups depending on your area.
Churches and temples also have them often.
I wish you the best of luck. Take care of yourself!

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iamhurting
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Default Mar 28, 2020 at 11:38 AM
  #7
I too am a divorcing dad. My ex filed divorce nov 2017 and has been dragging me through the meat grinder of a court system. She filed a domestic violence injunction against me early on, luckily the judge did not grant it. Restraining orders are a common divorce tactic and many are happy to lie and manipulate the courts to get one. My wife took my shared custody away from me early on for my 6 and 10 year old through an emergency motion. She manipulated a child counselor and worked the system against me. The judge made a hasty decision to give me every other weekend instead of week on week off. My life was crushed when this happened. I am so sorry for your situation. If the judge had granted my ex's dvi, I would be in the same spot. I have found a local therapist to go to in my area which has helped me some in my pain and depression, but it still hurts. I just joined this forum, but will be checking regularly. I hope you check in as needed and ask for help. I think knowing you are not alone helps. Also, being in a caring environment is what you need. Its hard to find friends who don't judge you or give you answers that don't help like get another attorney, why don't you take her to court, why don't you just settle, etc... which none of those are helpful. We need friends who love us and acknowledge our grief and suffering with us.
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