COVID crap

Soon-to-be-ex has illegal custody of our oldest, holding at undisclosed location.

I still have to hand over our youngest for 4 hours of visitation every week. (Yeah, my attorney sucks, but I can't afford to fire her.)

So... I'm pretty much broke. Was working on commission, had no pay from X-mas thru late Feb. Finally took a PT job with Amazon... just as Corona blew up. (That, and selling plasma.)

(Because I was working on commission, couldn't get food stamps approved. Over a month behind on the phone, things getting dire.)

So less than a week into my Amazon job?

Daughter gets sore throat & fever.



2 weeks true quarantine, NO plasma donations, NO Amazon work.

Last weekend, let him know she was sick, couldn't visit. (She still had an actual fever at that point, though by Sunday, it was under 100.)

Meanwhile, we've both been staying indoors. My paycheck came, and I had groceries delivered.... to my doorstep. Waved to delivery person thru closed windows. Baby Girl is OK, but I am NOT TAKING CHANCES.

So today, we're baking cookies. Had JUST put them in the oven....

...and he shows up at the curb, to take her.

Him: I am outside awaiting Youngest
Me:
We are still under quarantine!
Until the 15th!

Him:
my home is Youngest's home. there is no violation of quarantine for her having her legally mandated visit with me.

Me:
If she goes with you, I have to isolate for another 2 weeks before I can work.

This isn't a "legal" matter, but a health-matter.

The virus and its incubation period don't care about your mandated visit.

Him: Ok. You are claiming thay you cant work until you have had 2 weeks of isolation. Logically then she should live with me for those 2 weeks. Instead, you are causing her grief keeping her isolated for your benefit. Were our situations reversed, would you accept it?

No matter. Your continued gae keeping of Youngest and the house continues to be documented.

Me: Yes:

During the COVID-19 outbreak, anyone who is exposed to someone who has a fever and respiratory symptoms (as Youngest did last week) is required to quarantine for 14 days (which is the incubation period of the virus) after last exposure.

Furthurmore, leaving the house except for "essential" tasks -- such as getting food, medication, health-care, or work in an "essential" industry -- is currently illegal in Florida.

So yes, I'm keeping her.

No, "logically", introducing her to another houshold during her quarantine period does not make sense. That you are willing to put everyone's health at risk is clear, but not in anyone's best interest.



(Reference to house: It's in his name -- VA loan. In his divorce filing, he said he wants me & kids to have house. Then, starting around Thanksgiving, he started ordering me to vacate the house. Please note: He makes 6 figures, and I'm so broke I'm selling plasma.)

Yeah... mentioned we were baking cookies? That's supposed to be a fun, happy thing....

Wound up shaking so bad I nearly puked.

It's been hours, now, and I'm still kind of a low-key wreck.

Look, do I like him taking her every week? NO! But (unlike him) I obey the law and the court-orders. Court says he gets her for 4 hours, I give her for 4 hours. I've rearranged my entire life & schedule around his visitation times.

But I don't control the virus, it's incubation period, Stay-At-Home orders, or any of the rest of our current reality. Both of my income-streams involve me potentially putting vulnerable populations at risk, if I should become infected. Would I rather we could leave the house? HELL YES! Am I going to let that happen before quarantine is up? Hell, no!!

I just don't understand his (lack of) thinking.

The entire frelling country knows we're in a pandemic, that nothing is "normal" anymore, and that the #1 concern is preventing the spread. He KNEW she was sick last week, complete with fever. So WHY does he think it's "not breaking quarantine" for him to drive across town (We are under mandatory stay-at-home order!!) and take her to his household while she is still under quarantine??????


*sigh*

Sorry. All the folks in my life are dealing with enough stress right now over the realities of isloation, work-and-school-from-home, lack of TP, etc. Don't need to dump divorce-crap on them. Just need a place I can LET THIS OUT. So... if you actually read this much, thank you, and you didn't have to!

It's 7 hours later, and... I want to kill myself.

To be clear, I'm NOT suicidal. I'm NOT in danger.

But gah... Yesterday was rough. (Quarantine isn't easy. Youngest & I had both fallen into too much time on our computers.) Broke that loop, with sheer force of will and refusal to give in to depression, had a bunch of things planned for today, starting with the cookies.... and then this BS. ^^^

It just.... broke me.

Wrong moment, you know? Last straw for the camel....

&%#!

Took that little bit of energy I had left, and was using to keep us (me & daughter) both on right track and... gone. Because of his BS.




Look, lemme be really clear: I'm not in danger. Suicide & I go way back... It's like lving with a chronic illness. At this point, I recognize when something is beginning to "flare", and I do what I gotta to correct it. When I can recognize it at this stage -- when it's ideation instead of impulse -- means I can (and will) take steps to a.) prevent that and b.) improve my mental state. I've got a Girl, depending on me. I'll be fine, because I have to be, for her. That means I'll do what I gotta. So I don't need anyone panicking over me, OK?

But I just gotta have a place to say that, right now, that's where I'm at, and what took that last strength-reserve out of me was his BS today.

I'm sorry your exe is being such a butt. He might be documenting all this but you'd think he'd be the one in trouble for trying to violate quarantine and a stay at home order

I'm sorry dealing with him brought you so low and I hope you manage to break that loop again with no interference from him.

Few days later, and... I'm mostly OK, now.

Daughter & I even had a conversation about quarantine. (She found out there's a US astronaut on the space-station right now, and we were speculationg on whether they'd stay up thereo, or come down, and the consequences both ways. ) We discussed the general "Stay-at-home" and social-distancing orders, vs actual QUARANTINE, which is what we're on for a few more days.

And she got it. In the course of this conversation, "So going to see your dad...."

"...would be bad, because we're NOT in the same household, and so we could be spreading it!"

This was in a list of other examples of things you can't do on quarantine that you can do on the less-restrictive orders. Like I had a medical isssue, and had to have the pharmacy delvier my prescription, rather than going out to pick it up. (Super-annoying.) I brought up the missing-visitation thing because it was something real that happened to her, but she completely understood (and was emphatic about it).

I still haven't had the mental-energy to be productive.... I NEED to do laundry and change my sheets, and still haven't. (among other things)

Had some good thinjgs happen this week, taking some financial strain off, so that helps. There's food in the house again, including "snackable" food for me, which helps.

(I fully expect him to get the stimulus check for both of us, and keep it all. So today, as people are getting deposits, I've been dealing with THAT emotion. But I need to let go and move on.)