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Coffeebooksrain
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Default May 19, 2020 at 11:03 AM
  #1
3 weeks ago, the cops came to my door. They informed me that my husband of 6 years has been having an affair and stole money from her and she pressed charges. Needless to say, I was on the floor, gasping for breath and trying to process the explosion of my entire world. I’m staying with my parents, filing for divorce, and getting counseling, but it’s hard not to feel that I will always be in this traumatized place. I can’t imagine a future where I’m back on my feet, stable and happy. We do not have children, thank God. I’m reaching out to this support group because I want so badly to everything I can to heal and recover from this. I just can’t process that the person I put my trust and faith in is so sick. I thought some input from people in similar situations might help.
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Yaowen
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Default May 19, 2020 at 12:08 PM
  #2
Dear Coffeebooksrain,

I am so very, very sorry that this happened to you. "Traumatic" is a good word for it although there is no word that can convey the pain of these kinds of things. I did suffer something similar in my own life and was devastated for such a long time. The mental scars are still there but lucky they don't really hurt anymore. It is just heartbreaking what you went through. Hopefully these Forums will prove to be helpful to you in you terrible distress. Wish I knew what to say that would help. I hope others here have better words than my poor words. My heart really goes out to you!

Sincerely yours, Yao Wen
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Coffeebooksrain
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Default May 20, 2020 at 11:38 AM
  #3
Thank you for your kind words!
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Open Eyes
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Default May 25, 2020 at 08:49 AM
  #4
Hi Coffeebooksrain, welcome to Psych Central. I am sorry you were caught totally off guard and discovered your husband was doing things you had no idea he was doing.

Unfortunately, there are people that can have a very dark side to them and yet can present as a person that can be trusted and seems good. They can get really good at being deceptive. They can be a family member, a work collegue, a friend we thought we could trust and a spouse we thought we could love and feel safe with.

I have had people completely shock me and traumatize me as well, so I can understand how you are struggling with this sudden reality. Please know this is not your fault, it can happen to anyone and it really does take time to learn how to move forward despite experiencing such a shock like this.
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Default May 27, 2020 at 02:24 PM
  #5
Hi Honey,

I’m so sorry you are going through this. It’s not fair that this happens. Relationships are so hard. Just know that you will overcome whatever you are going through right now. Times are tough but this too shall pass. Keep us posted. How is your husband/ex husband dealing with the process?

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