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Newly Joined
Member Since Oct 2020
Location: Washington
Posts: 1
3 |
Oct 19, 2020 at 03:22 PM
#1
My children (ages 10 & 13) came home from their dad's house upset because they were asked by him not to mention me (mom) or their grandparents (my parents) in front of his girlfriend because it's awkward for her. We've been divorced for close to 5 years, and he has been dating this person for about the same amount of time. Why this is coming up now, I have no idea.... but what I'm curious about is if this is pretty typical in divorces to not allow your children to speak about the other side? I have always allowed my kids to speak freely of whoever is important to them in their life, so I'm having a hard time wrapping my head around this. Any input would be great! Thanks in advance!
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 Skeezyks
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Disreputable Old Troll
Member Since Oct 2015
Location: The Star of the North
Posts: 32,762
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Oct 20, 2020 at 02:28 PM
#2
Hello love my new life. There's nothing I can offer with regard to your particular concern. But I noticed this is your first post here on PC. So I thought I would at least welcome you to Psych Central.
 Here are links to 5 articles on the subject of children & divorce, from Psych Central's archives, that may be of interest: Divorce and Child Custody 10 Essentials of Co-Parenting After a Divorce | The Exhausted Woman How to Co-Parent Successfully after Divorce 10 Essentials of Co-Parenting After a Divorce | The Exhausted Woman Tools for Parallel Parenting in a High-Conflict Situation I hope you find PC to be of benefit. 
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Mar 2011
Location: Northeast USA
Posts: 23,106
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Oct 20, 2020 at 02:35 PM
#3
Sounds pretty controlling to me. Maybe your ex-husband was a controlling type?
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New Member
Member Since Nov 2020
Location: Canada
Posts: 4
3 |
Nov 02, 2020 at 03:58 PM
#4
It sounds to me like your ex-husband's priorities are misplaced. He should be considering his children's feelings first. Grown-ups are expected to have the maturity to deal with difficult topics and situations. This is unfair to expect from children (and I would argue that it is emotionally and psychologically abusive for them to be asked such a thing).
If his girlfriend is uncomfortable with topics that involve some of the most important people in his children's lives, then that is her issue to deal with, not theirs. It's probably not your place, but it sounds like someone should suggest to your husband's girlfriend that she seek therapy to work on whatever is making her uncomfortable whenever yours or your family's names are brought up. |
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