Divorce in Canada - Financial question

I'm weighing my options, and this is one I have to investigate

I don't think I can afford to divorce.

I have a good job, and clear about $4000 a month.

We've been together 20 years, so spousal support is paid until I die, basically.

I'm the primary wage earner.

By all online calculators available, we will split all assets, and I will pay spousal support (not child support) of up to $2400 a month. She is self employed and earns a small income. That support amount doesn't seem to change, regardless of her making 10K a year or 35K a year.

So, my good job will leave me with about $1600/mth of income. I'd easily be into $1000/month for an apartment and utilities.

We have about 100K value in our home. But, I contribute to a company pension, so I expect I will walk away from any value in the house and more, as she will get half my accumulated pension.

How the heck do people do this?

Well your wife might want spousal support for life but unless she is on disability most certainly she won’t get it for life. It’s ridiculous

My husband was married nearly 30 years when he and his ex divorced. She was awarded alimony, Sure she wanted for life and about double the amount but judge thought otherwise. There was a limit to spousal support. Yes it was tough for him to pay it but there was the light at the end of the tunnel. It eventually ends

Usually alimony is for few years, 5, 10 etc Not forever. There is no reason for your ex to not go get a job so that’s how courts look at it. They also won’t take most of your salary to be paying someone who is capable of working. The amount suppose to be within reason

She will need few years to get her act together and after that there is no need to be supported by her ex forever. She can work just like everyone else.

Yes she might walk away with half your pension but often times if she receives alimony from you, judge won’t give her your pension. Typically it’s either one or the other. If she wants your pension she will get less alimony if any

Honestly instead of looking at calculators, you have to go to talk to a lawyer. Lawyers will be looking at all that and negotiating

Overall that’s why I believe people need to encourage their spouses to be equal partners, not dependents. Our minor children should be our dependents. Not adult spouses. Sure stay home while kids are too young to be in school and day care is too expensive. But you can’t claim to be “stay at home mom” when kids aren’t even at home.

So when you ask how most people do it, nowadays most women are equal partners and men aren’t sole providers anymore. Then things split evenly. Honestly if she is the one wanting divorce now, she should go get a job and start contributing. Kids are 18, so she can’t claim to be stay at home mom.

Just looking at sites like these (link below) based on me making about 72K and her making about 10K. Together 20 years.

She has health issues and doesn't work full time.

This is my third time this month being kicked out of our room and name called based on assumptions she's jumped to about me that didn't happen. One night was because of a board game and my inability to explain it properly the first time I played it with her.

Regarding seeing a lawyer, our finances are blended. I don't want that payment showing up until I'm ready to do this. Just investigating right now.

Spousal Support Calculator - Canada [2020]

Do not use a calculator, it’s just a general idea. It’s not set in stone. You can see a lawyer for a free consultation.

At the time of their divorce my husband’s ex was not working at all. Over the years she had some jobs, here and there usually just part time. Getting closer to the end of marriage she refused to get a job at all, hoping to get high alimony. He was making about the same then as you are making now. .

She was awarded 800-900 a month for a duration of 8 years. She demanded twice as much and for life. Judge didn’t think so. He also didn’t have to give up half of retirement plan (it was not much) because he had to pay alimony. Unless your spouse is rich (and 72k is not rich) typically you aren’t going to pay through the nose

Everyone has health problems. Who does not have health problems? My husband actually has a disability (he is not ON disability). No one ever said he should quit a job and someone should support him for life. Judge will not care about regular health problems. She will be awarded an alimony but it won’t last forever and it will not be a billion dollars

Bottom line is you assume you’ll pay for life and a gazzilion of money because you read something on the internet. You have no idea what actually is going to happen.

Ok I had to look up your previous posts, I remember you now. I confused you with someone thinking you have grown children.

If your kids are minor you’ll need to figure custody. You’ll either have to pay child support (and it’s separate from alimony) or you’ll have kids full time and she’ll have to pay you (she wouldn’t want that so she’ll fight for custody l). So your situation is more complicated.

You mentioned that she doesn’t take care of kids or house so she can’t claim to be stay at home mom or housewife. You need to start documenting things diligently including her not doing any child care. Keep a journal with details times of the day and dates etc

So that’s the woman who can’t work and can’t take care of the kids and the house but can paint for 6 hours. Document that too. Daily. It will show the court system that she is capable of working. Ability to work would determine length and amount of spousal support

Thank you.

I'll look for a free consultation.

With these online calculators, the amount changes very little with or without child support. With child support, it just becomes allocated differently.