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buttrfli42481
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Trig Mar 21, 2012 at 09:55 PM
  #1
I went to my gp's office and they told me how much I weigh! I am so not ok with it. I mean there was part of me that wanted to know and then part of me that knew better. I am so freaked out by this! All I want to do is restrict. I feel so freakin fat right now. Why do they have to weigh me? I get weighed every two weeks by my dietician who does not tell me what it is. If they want to know so bad, they can call her. I skipped breakfast and morning snack today, ate a very small dinner, and had a very small snack for this evening. I don't want to eat tomorrow either. All I want to do is get under that scary number and stay under it. Why have I been dealt this? Why?

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Default Mar 23, 2012 at 10:47 PM
  #2
Have you been feeling healthier & more functional lately (I mean before you learned what your actual weight is)?

I have honestly felt that I have a weight range that I am willing to stay between that is in the healthy range for my height......when I get over that top.....I will tend to restrict....more by making sure I don't eat any junk food.....interesting, I can cut out all the snacks & loose several pounds in a day or 2 & by just keeping away from those foods I can eat a bit more of when my weight is low, it get's my weight right back to where I want it just by eating good healthy food & keeping away from any of the fatening junk foods......It's a bit of the yo-yo thing, but at least I can eat things I like after rewarding myself by getting my weight back down to where I feel good about myself.

Only problem is that if I get my weight low & then I get sick or some stressful thing hits me.....then my weight ends up going way too low & I end up having serious problems again.

Know it's hard to stay at a weight that is healthy & still acceptable....but when you can find that balance, it's so much easier to be happier with life & not struggle so much of the time.

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Default Mar 29, 2012 at 10:41 AM
  #3
Hi: You're not alone!!! I can't give you an advice because I don't even started a treatment yet. So I don't think I can be a support right now all I can tell you if do your best to fight with this.
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Default Apr 07, 2012 at 09:42 PM
  #4
I was feeling good until I saw those numbers. I am still fighting with it. I am trying to change my number so that I can be healthy and my dietician told me that she won't let me keep gaining weight. I think that if I knew what the goal weight for me to get at would help. ED keeps telling me that this certain number is the max and if I go over it, then I am fat. It is a daily struggle for me to follow my meal plan. I have not been truthful with my family, my T, or my dietician with eating. I have skipped meals and snacks more than what I have admitted to. I wish that I could go to a time where ED no longer controls my life.

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Linda Watson
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Default Apr 10, 2012 at 01:59 AM
  #5
Hi
To be healthy without being fat you are dieting but along with follow some exercises and physical activities which will help you a lot.
Quote:
Originally Posted by buttrfli42481 View Post
I went to my gp's office and they told me how much I weigh! I am so not ok with it. I mean there was part of me that wanted to know and then part of me that knew better. I am so freaked out by this! All I want to do is restrict. I feel so freakin fat right now. Why do they have to weigh me? I get weighed every two weeks by my dietician who does not tell me what it is. If they want to know so bad, they can call her. I skipped breakfast and morning snack today, ate a very small dinner, and had a very small snack for this evening. I don't want to eat tomorrow either. All I want to do is get under that scary number and stay under it. Why have I been dealt this? Why?
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Default Apr 24, 2012 at 09:46 PM
  #6
Been restricting really bad lately. Not wanting to eat and not having the support at home doesn't help. I am past my safe weight and it scares me. I go to the dietician this friday and am afraid that I have lost more weight. I don't like not knowing what will happen if I lose more weight. To me I am still at a healthy weight, I guess I don't see it as a problem. I mean, my daughter is the same heighth as me and weighs less and they say that is fine. What is the difference? I don't get it.

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Default Apr 28, 2012 at 10:48 AM
  #7
Quote:
Not wanting to eat and not having the support at home doesn't help.
What has changed that is making you not want to eat again? Why are you NOT getting any support at home right now?

Those things need to be resolved so that you will be able to get back on track of the healing you know you need for yourself.

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Default Apr 28, 2012 at 10:50 AM
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Please try to be healthy for your sake and especially for your daughter's sake. Eating disorders can be passed down and you don't want your daughter to suffer like you do.
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Default Apr 28, 2012 at 09:07 PM
  #9
The only thing that has changed is knowing that I am over my "safe" weight. I have a number that ED keeps telling me to stay under and I listen to him. I have listened to him for so many years that it is hard to stop.

I have never had the support of my family. The day I got home from the hospital, my mom and step-dad both said that there was nothing wrong with me and that I just forgot how to eat. They don't make sure I am on my meal plan or that I supplement if I need to. They don't think I need to see a dietician and want me to stop going. They just don't get any part of this. My daughter at least tells me that I need to eat my snack when my alarm goes off, but she is getting lax on that. And it isn't her responsibility to be a support like that.

You are right, I don't want my daughter to suffer like I am. She doesn't know that I have slipped back into my old habits, at least not that I know of.

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