[Blue_Bird]

Had a good day yesterday and today seems like it will go well. I'm noticing patterns with the b/p. I tend to do it either when I'm stressed/home all day/or gone all day busy and not bringing anything with me to eat and screwing up when I get home cause I'm so hungry.

[eskielover]

Originally Posted by Blue_Bird

I b/p'd last night........

Hoping to do better today, it's such a tricky balance..

Is there something that is actually bothering you more than usual in your life right now? Sometimes things like this can be our "learned response" to a feeling we are experiencing about something that is happening in our life.

Just a thought

[Blue_Bird]

Originally Posted by eskielover

Is there something that is actually bothering you more than usual in your life right now? Sometimes things like this can be our "learned response" to a feeling we are experiencing about something that is happening in our life.


Just a thought

Yes, I have a lot more stress than usual. I'm back in college. I started with one class last semester, am taking one class now, which is the same amount of work as taking two classes because the summer semester sessions are half the time and all the work. I know that doesn't sound like much but it's a lot for me. And there's some other stressful stuff going on with social security and also trying to get this stuff together so I can get into a more affordable apartment.

I'm planning on trying to get a part time job at some point possibly by the fall. that is my short term goal. It's just a lot. I've never worked before in my life, I'm excited about it though.

Oh yeah, and my moods are out of whack again. I keep bouncing from high in euphoric bliss for days to barely getting out of bed for days. And when I am like that I go 3, or 4 days with maybe an hour or two of sleep then when it stops I start sleeping almost 15 hours a day.

Not sure which is causing which. I think it's some kind of circular thing and they're all effecting each other, the sleep, stress, eating disorder, and mood swings

[eskielover]

All the stressful things yiu are going through explanes it well.....& YES, summer sessions are stressful.

Many times our ED'S are actually our learned coping mechanisms to the stress in our lives & yes, they then add into the imbalance but they usually don't start it.

Learning more healthy coping skills really helps.

[LucyD]

[eskielover]

For me, stress makes me feel sick to my stomach which in turn makes me not want to eat.

Right now I am finally going through my divorce but what should be simple is turning into an expensive legal action & law suit against him all because he is a jerk.

I have bought lots of mild flavor foods that aren't heavy to eat so I will be more tempted to make sure I eat. A law suite 2100 miles away is not the easiest thing in the world. I just want this guy out if my life who has made it hell for so long.....even the last 11 years after leaving me, I was trapped financially in a situation that made it impossible to divorce until now.

I honestly now know the stresses I was under when my anorexia first started....just thankful I sm in a better place in life than I was then or I would be right back there.

so far this week I have stuck to my menu

I did eat some jaffer cakes (probably a bit too many jaffer cakes), which is my only slip up so far of the week.

not bad seeing as it's only tuesday

[Blue_Bird]

Major screw up, I can't seem to stop

[eskielover]

Keep working with your T & focus on controlling your stress level. This has been your coping mechanism for stress & it takes time to change when you are actually under stress.....easy to revert back to our old ways.

[Blue_Bird]

Originally Posted by eskielover

Keep working with your T & focus on controlling your stress level. This has been your coping mechanism for stress & it takes time to change when you are actually under stress.....easy to revert back to our old ways.

I think that may be part of the problem, I am still waiting to be assigned a therapist at my clinic. I'm still seeing my doctor there for meds but that's really all she does and the therapy stuff is for the counselors but I have been waiting to be assigned a new one the past month and a half.

[eskielover]

Maybe you can tell them it has become critical for you to get the assignment now because of your higl level of anxiety in your life you ard struggling to handle. It never hurts to ask rather than just wait.

They always say "the squeeky wheel is the one that gets greased"

[LucyD]

In a pinch Youtube has some good meditation videos and ones for anxiety, too.

Here is one: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4EaMJOo1jks

[Blue_Bird]

Thanks guys, I called and left a message at the clinic with the lady handling my intake, hopefully I'll hear something soon.

[LucyD]

Originally Posted by Blue_Bird

Thanks guys, I called and left a message at the clinic with the lady handling my intake, hopefully I'll hear something soon.

I, too, am awaiting a call from a new counselor. I hope it's soon.

I have had a good (mostly good?) week, sticking to the menu that I planned out

started to slip towards the end of the week though- someone sent me some stuff in the mail, and well.. it started me off

[MoxieDoxie]

I think I can finally say I no longer have an eating disorder. I have been bulimic free for almost 2 months.

[Blue_Bird]

Good morning

My sleep is starting to get back to normal. I'm thankful for that, it was really screwed up for awhile and certainly wasn't helping things.

Originally Posted by MoxieDoxie

I think I can finally say I no longer have an eating disorder. I have been bulimic free for almost 2 months.

this is good!

(((hugs))))

[LucyD]

[Blue_Bird]

Good morning, how is everyone?

I had a major success today, I was able to buy ice cream and not binge on it. I had a small amount of it in a small dish and thoroughly enjoyed it. I have more in the freezer, and I actually feel very confident that I will be able to control myself.

Learning how to eat without fear, no obsessing of how "fat" I believe something is making me or that I need to restrict or purge to "get rid" of all the weight.