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Old 11-10-2018, 07:50 AM #31
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Default Re: Daily Check In Thread for those with an eating disorder of any kind #2

I've not had any takeouts this week which is a good thing.

still eaten quite a few biscuits, and I did (for 2 nights in a row), eat the same meal (chicken)
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Old 11-10-2018, 01:16 PM #32
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Default Re: Daily Check In Thread for those with an eating disorder of any kind #2

It freaks me out how scale shoots up cuz I drank a pot of coffee. Yesterday I ate a bowl of oatmeal. That always causes me extra food weight, showing on scale. Cuz I just want to know my true weight, wtf. Like I feel like I gained and should go low calorie today.
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Old 11-10-2018, 02:03 PM #33
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Default Re: Daily Check In Thread for those with an eating disorder of any kind #2

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Originally Posted by shovelhead View Post
It freaks me out how scale shoots up cuz I drank a pot of coffee. Yesterday I ate a bowl of oatmeal. That always causes me extra food weight, showing on scale. Cuz I just want to know my true weight, wtf. Like I feel like I gained and should go low calorie today.
The scale drives me crazy. A lot of my smaller clothes fit me now so I'm glad. Coffee makes your weight go up...wow..I hate the scale. I have a love/hate relationship with it..lol
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Old 11-10-2018, 03:16 PM #34
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Default Re: Daily Check In Thread for those with an eating disorder of any kind #2

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The scale drives me crazy. A lot of my smaller clothes fit me now so I'm glad. Coffee makes your weight go up...wow..I hate the scale. I have a love/hate relationship with it..lol
Thanks do much. Yeah I pound coffee non-stop then I'm dehydrated & don't drink enough water. The bowl of oatmeal in my tummy is weighing me down. It's heavy food for me! Sometimes oatmeal will put me right to sleep.
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Old 11-10-2018, 03:48 PM #35
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Default Re: Daily Check In Thread for those with an eating disorder of any kind #2

I hate scales, wish they'd never been invented. But when my old scale stopped working (it was digital), I went and bought a new one...sigh. Mad at the scale right now because I have PMS, that always causes my weight to go up a bit.

I just want to stay at this one specific number, so unrealistic. I know I really need to gain weight to be healthy, but I don't want to. I'm not so low a weight people just instantly think ED unless I'm wearing something that shows my chest, my spine (bones, which the ED likes...sigh). Found another pair of my smaller jeans I didn't get rid of and am glad of that because I only had one other pair that wasn't awfully loose and falling down.

I now weigh within 10 lb. of my 10 (soon to be 11 next month) year old daughter. She is tall for her age (over 5 ft now), and not overweight, can wear some of my clothes, doesn't like a lot of my pants because I like my clothes fitted and she does not like fitted clothes. She wore a pair of my capri pants for a recent dance performance at school.

Last week, one day, my daughter asked my husband (while I was sitting with them) why I am so small. Ugh. I've tried to explain to her about eating disorders, and while I I feel she definitely does not want to ever be fat or teased about her weight, my being so skinny she didn't get. She was like why not just don't exercise? if the doctor says you will feel better if you weigh at least X? I didn't want to have to explain all about the effects of sexual abuse (physical & mental too and bad and even weird bad - like a near shooting - life events). Hate that she notices though.

I'm better than I was in college. Really, I'm shocked I got through that without the hospital. I came back from 80 lb., maybe a little less on my own, which God, I wonder how in the world I did that, in my early 20s too, so quite young. But obviously, I never did recover 100%
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Old 11-10-2018, 10:02 PM #36
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Default Re: Daily Check In Thread for those with an eating disorder of any kind #2

Has been awhile since I've checked in on this thread. I had some rough days. Today has been great though. I'm using mindfulness a lot. I gained some weight...not exactly happy about it but not obsessed and depressed over it either
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Old 11-11-2018, 01:38 AM #37
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Default Re: Daily Check In Thread for those with an eating disorder of any kind #2

Hi everybody. Yesterday I ate like crazy: sandwiches, croissants, biscuits, the works. I'm battling both overeating and smoking so at times I feel hopeless and a total slave to these addictions. I also need to drink more water, I used to drink lots of it every day, then at some point it just became boring. Crazy, I know. I will try to do my best today.
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Old 11-11-2018, 10:35 AM #38
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Default Re: Daily Check In Thread for those with an eating disorder of any kind #2

OK, I guess. I'm eating breakfast now though the ED would rather I skip it since it is already 10:30 AM. I ran this morning. Dissociated a lot in my head, not sure what's up with that. Ran farther than normal due to cloudy skies, cooler temps, and the dissociation. My app would announce a mileage, and I couldn't believe I'd gone a couple miles since the last time.

Forgot to take my morning meds until now other than Protonix. I am usually good about remembering to take them when I get up, weird I forgot.

Saw a house already decorated for Christmas. Jumping the gun a bit. I am Christian and believe in Jesus & God, but I hate the holidays and the new years resolutions to lose weight, all the weight/exercise/diet stats listed on Facebook, the fake happy Thanksgiving & Christmas holiday pics everyone puts one FB. Who is that happy all the time? I wish I had my youngest sister's willpower. She went off social media altogether years ago because she said it made her feel inadequate as a wife and mother. I totally get that. I should do that, but there are people I do like keeping up with ...ugh.
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Old 11-11-2018, 10:39 AM #39
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Default Re: Daily Check In Thread for those with an eating disorder of any kind #2

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Originally Posted by Blue_Bird View Post
Has been awhile since I've checked in on this thread. I had some rough days. Today has been great though. I'm using mindfulness a lot. I gained some weight...not exactly happy about it but not obsessed and depressed over it either
Sorry about your struggles lately. Good for you taking the weight gain in stride. Mine is up a couple pounds, and the ED doesn't like that, but I also have PMS. Period could start any time now, and that always causes my weight to go up a bit.
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I shall be telling this with a sigh
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two roads diverged in a wood, and I -
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.
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Old 11-11-2018, 10:40 AM #40
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Default Re: Daily Check In Thread for those with an eating disorder of any kind #2

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Originally Posted by fallaximago View Post
Hi everybody. Yesterday I ate like crazy: sandwiches, croissants, biscuits, the works. I'm battling both overeating and smoking so at times I feel hopeless and a total slave to these addictions. I also need to drink more water, I used to drink lots of it every day, then at some point it just became boring. Crazy, I know. I will try to do my best today.
I hope today goes better for you. I can't remember, do you see a therapist or not?
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I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
two roads diverged in a wood, and I -
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.
--Robert Frost
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