Daily Check In Thread for those with an eating disorder of any kind #2 - Page 68 - Forums at Psych Central



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Old 06-11-2019, 03:43 PM #671
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Default Re: Daily Check In Thread for those with an eating disorder of any kind #2

Mixed up 2 meds this AM during a bad panic attack (have those pills set aside in bottles as they are prn). Yesterday, I picked up a Trazodone prescription, and I must have put it with the prn meds. Trazodone in the 50 mg form is the same shape, size, color as one of the prn meds. I then ended up taking Trazodone, or so I figure, sleepy as I felt. Had to cancel appointment with T because I wasnít sure Iíd be alert enough to drive, so that sucks. I got really, really nauseous. Couldnít manage even a light lunch until 2 PM. Really still donít feel hungry, and I was planning baked potatoes for dinner. Not sure if I can face that or have to have something more like soup and sandwich. Still think I am waiting for the full effect of the Trazodone to wear off. I guess I have no tolerance for it any more. I took a 50 mg pill this AM, but I usually cut them in half, take only 25 mg at night. There was a time I needed 400, 450 mg to sleep, and even that didnít always work.
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Old 06-11-2019, 05:40 PM #672
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Default Re: Daily Check In Thread for those with an eating disorder of any kind #2

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Originally Posted by Blueberrybook View Post
Iím so sorry. When I first got on psych meds, I was young, 18 or 19. They put me on Remeron, and I didnít know any better. That med makes nearly everyone gain weight; vets even use it to stimulate appetite in cats and dogs. In my case, I gained fast because all I did was eat and sleep, but it felt so out of my control. Nearly turned to bulimia but I physically can not make myself throw up except a handful of times.



Edema is awful though. I had it happen once when I changed brands of birth control pill. In just over a week, I was so swollen. Had to stop the pill. And it happened at the end of pregnancy (just the normal amount expected especially when you go pas5 your due date like I did), but that you just pretty much pee out.



Did the doc weigh you or are you weighing yourself between appts. If itís at the pdocís, can you ask to be weighed backwards ? I am assuming your pdoc knows your history with EDs?
The pdoc weighs me at the office when I come in. I usually don't weigh myself. I can get obsessive about weighing if I start so I just don't.

I'm hoping a lot of the weight was the edema. I'm tempted to go weigh myself on my mom's scale. Since I stopped the medicine, the edema has gone down a lot. It's not all the way gone yet but it's lessened.

I'm wanting to restrict too. Which is bad especially, because I have diabetes, and my blood sugar can drop and make me sick. It's 5:30pm and I've only eaten once today. I'm hungry, but I don't want to eat.

I can't make myself throw up either, honestly. I used to abuse laxatives for purging. Any time I genuinely need them, it's triggering. I hate having to take them. I don't keep any in the house ever. My brain is telling me to go buy some, and I'm trying to fight it, but it's getting really hard.

I'm honestly not sure if I have been honest with my pdoc about the ED. It's been so long since I've acted out on it that I don't mention it with my history usually. It's one of those things that I'm hesitant to have labeled. It follows you, you know. If it's mentioned, when you're in the hospital, they watch what you eat and don't let you go to your room for awhile after meals. It just seems like a lot of judgement follows when your labeled with an ED.

The thoughts of wanting to purge are strong today. And my brain is like, if you don't eat then you don't have to purge. I hate my brain. I want to just be able to enjoy food like a normal person.
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Old 06-11-2019, 06:54 PM #673
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Default Re: Daily Check In Thread for those with an eating disorder of any kind #2

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I'm honestly not sure if I have been honest with my pdoc about the ED. It's been so long since I've acted out on it that I don't mention it with my history usually. It's one of those things that I'm hesitant to have labeled. It follows you, you know. If it's mentioned, when you're in the hospital, they watch what you eat and don't let you go to your room for awhile after meals. It just seems like a lot of judgement follows when your labeled with an ED.
It's important to mention all the same, even if you don't act out on it.

I suppose there are some people fortunate enough to recover 100%, but I never have. Even when I'm doing well, healthy weight, eating fine, not overexercising, I still have those ED thoughts/voices in my head. Sure, sometimes not as much or as strong or it's easier not to act on them and ignore them, but when life gets tough, it tends to be one of the coping mechanisms I embrace first, again and again.

I was diagnosed with anorexia over 20 years ago, so yeah, it comes back all the time, or the thoughts were awful too when I had to gain weight because I was pregnant with my daughter. The doctor only asked for the standard 25-35 lb., and I gained around 30 and felt enormous and wanted to do all the ED things but couldn't because of the baby. OB made me get right on a waiting list for a pdoc even before my third trimester.

I haven't had pdocs focusing on the ED unless I let them know the thoughts were bad or they could tell I was losing too much weight and made me step on the scale. I do think it's something your pdoc, even all your doctors should be aware of. These things can affect you medically down the road even if you were fully immersed in the ED for a short time frame.
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Old 06-11-2019, 07:22 PM #674
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Default Re: Daily Check In Thread for those with an eating disorder of any kind #2

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Originally Posted by Blueberrybook View Post
I haven't had pdocs focusing on the ED unless I let them know the thoughts were bad or they could tell I was losing too much weight and made me step on the scale. I do think it's something your pdoc, even all your doctors should be aware of. These things can affect you medically down the road even if you were fully immersed in the ED for a short time frame.
I've mentioned it to my stomach doc because I still have problems from the laxative abuse. Do one doc knows, but that's it. I caused damage to my system from the laxatives, and am still dealing with it. It's just something I'm embarrassed to talk about I guess.

I sent a text to my T. She's gonna call when she gets home. She's driving right now. Gonna try to tell her about the ED thoughts, but also having psychotic symptoms from the change in meds. Just overall having a rough day.
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Old 06-11-2019, 08:00 PM #675
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Default Re: Daily Check In Thread for those with an eating disorder of any kind #2

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Yeah, looking healthy and being healthy are 2 different things though. How are you doing with eating today?

Do you have a GI doc treating the gastritis? Are you on medication for it, like a proton pump inhibitor? Though those come with their own series of problems. Iím on Protonix. It could be some of the reason Iím have iron anemia (you need enough stomach acid to absorb the iron). I have gastritis as well.
Eating wasn't well today (1/2 sandwich). I'm suppose to be seeing a GI dr but there are none in my area. My case worker is trying to find one and a nutritionist. I'm on 2 meds for gastritis and 325 mg of iron and 500 mg vit. C 2x a day. My labs are all messed up I'm suppose to see a hematologist. I keep thinking as long as I don't "look" it I'm okay but I never "looked" it. Is your gastritis chronic or is it temporary?
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Old 06-12-2019, 06:44 AM #676
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Default Re: Daily Check In Thread for those with an eating disorder of any kind #2

Just thought I'd say hi to you all. I have nothing to add.
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Old 06-21-2019, 06:18 PM #677
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Default Re: Daily Check In Thread for those with an eating disorder of any kind #2

Put my scale away. Just going to check my weight every two weeks for a bit, was getting obsessed with it again and weighing myself every day multiple times
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Old 06-21-2019, 06:22 PM #678
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Default Re: Daily Check In Thread for those with an eating disorder of any kind #2

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Just thought I'd say hi to you all. I have nothing to add.
Hope you're doing well
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Old 06-22-2019, 03:51 PM #679
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Default Re: Daily Check In Thread for those with an eating disorder of any kind #2

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Put my scale away. Just going to check my weight every two weeks for a bit, was getting obsessed with it again and weighing myself every day multiple times
I have mine back in my apt. It's not bothering me as much as it was for some reason. I am not what I weigh but a whole woman with qualities. Never going to be a size 0! Don't want to be either.
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Default Re: Daily Check In Thread for those with an eating disorder of any kind #2

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Hope you're doing well
Doing okay, thank you. I hope you are doing alright, too. Wishing you all the best!
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