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Default Nov 30, 2018 at 07:59 AM
  #201
It's very frustrating having an eating disorder but to really enjoy cooking and learning new recipes lol. how odd.

I'm doing good. I got a book at the used bookstore called "The Eating Disorder Sourcebook" (3rd Edition) by Carolyn Costin. It seems like it's packed full of useful information.

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Default Nov 30, 2018 at 08:13 AM
  #202
this week... not as bad as it could be

bearing in mind that things like my fridge and my cupboard have recently been fully stocked again

this week I only really had 1 bad day.. and that day was so bad I couldn't eat my dinner (or not all of it)
 
 
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Default Nov 30, 2018 at 10:54 AM
  #203
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I forget, what is your ED? Can't remember. You seem to exercise a lot.
Hiya! Can I PM you? I wanted to ask u a question about exercise. I asked u in a reply here, once. But u must not have seen it in notifications. Daily Check In Thread for those with an eating disorder of any kind #2

Last edited by shovelhead; Nov 30, 2018 at 11:53 AM..
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Default Nov 30, 2018 at 02:28 PM
  #204
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Hiya! Can I PM you? I wanted to ask u a question about exercise. I asked u in a reply here, once. But u must not have seen it in notifications. Daily Check In Thread for those with an eating disorder of any kind #2
Sure, you can PM me. I don't remember the post, or maybe it was just timing (days when I couldn't read all the posts, just didn't have it in me).

I am feeling a great need to burn calories today. Even took a walk after lunch despite running and a little walking this morning. I'm not doing good. I am burning more calories exercising than I can eat, considering I don't binge. I tend to eat normally, maybe a bit healthier than some people, not as healthy as others and don't count the calories anyway. And considering we have no money, now I almost never eat out.

Stupid ED is screaming I should walk AGAIN, but this time I am not. I have been around the block so many times today, it is a wonder I have not been reported to the police. I have no idea what the neighbors think, if I'm hyperactive, training for a marathon (I usually warm up going around the block a bit). The walking, I don't know. I haven't had that compulsion in awhile, and since a lot of the houses down this road are rentals or owned by elderly people moving out, the neighbors change quite a bit.

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Default Nov 30, 2018 at 04:29 PM
  #205
I had a haven't eaten yet today, I did have a glass of v-8. I am getting a little hungry, so I guess I will make a some left overs.
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Default Nov 30, 2018 at 04:42 PM
  #206
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Sure, you can PM me. I don't remember the post, or maybe it was just timing (days when I couldn't read all the posts, just didn't have it in me).

I am feeling a great need to burn calories today. Even took a walk after lunch despite running and a little walking this morning. I'm not doing good. I am burning more calories exercising than I can eat, considering I don't binge. I tend to eat normally, maybe a bit healthier than some people, not as healthy as others and don't count the calories anyway. And considering we have no money, now I almost never eat out.

Stupid ED is screaming I should walk AGAIN, but this time I am not. I have been around the block so many times today, it is a wonder I have not been reported to the police. I have no idea what the neighbors think, if I'm hyperactive, training for a marathon (I usually warm up going around the block a bit). The walking, I don't know. I haven't had that compulsion in awhile, and since a lot of the houses down this road are rentals or owned by elderly people moving out, the neighbors change quite a bit.
Thanks, I will PM you! Right now I'm cleaning & cooking. I'm always super distracted & busy doing something. Daily Check In Thread for those with an eating disorder of any kind #2Daily Check In Thread for those with an eating disorder of any kind #2 I can't concentrate too long, either. I'm the same way, burn-burn-burn. I never sit down for longer than 10 minutes. I have same thing as u, wondering about neighbors seeing me. I will jumprope outside at midnight. People sometimes drive by Daily Check In Thread for those with an eating disorder of any kind #2Daily Check In Thread for those with an eating disorder of any kind #2 Have a great day
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Default Nov 30, 2018 at 04:43 PM
  #207
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I had a haven't eaten yet today, I did have a glass of v-8. I am getting a little hungry, so I guess I will make a some left overs.
Thanks for reminding me. I should buy myself some V-8. They have different flavors now, don't they?
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Default Nov 30, 2018 at 05:59 PM
  #208
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I had a haven't eaten yet today, I did have a glass of v-8. I am getting a little hungry, so I guess I will make a some left overs.
You need to eat. It doesn't help your health issues not to eat, you know.

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Default Nov 30, 2018 at 06:00 PM
  #209
I'm fine for the time being and have eaten normally all week with no binging or purging, but now that finals are coming up like I mentioned before, things are going to get more crazy and I'm hoping I can keep things under control.
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Default Dec 01, 2018 at 12:15 PM
  #210
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I'm fine for the time being and have eaten normally all week with no binging or purging, but now that finals are coming up like I mentioned before, things are going to get more crazy and I'm hoping I can keep things under control.
Ugh. Finals were always hard for me in college. I don't know if you are a perfectionist or not but I was, at least when it came to grades, which made the finals even more stressful, and when I got in the higher level courses for my major, where you had more one-on-one time with the professor, I be freaked because these were the people I'd need to give me letters of recommendations to graduate school. A lot of the time, my ED got worse before finals, except the semester I graduated. I had re-gained weight. I am sure I still had the ED thoughts, but I am normal weight in all the pictures I have of my college graduation, so I must have stopped many of the ED rituals then.

Sorry, I don't remember exactly. that was 20 years ago. I graduated Dec. 2000 and am 40 years old now.

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Default Dec 01, 2018 at 12:16 PM
  #211
Too much exercise today.

ED jumping with joy.

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Default Dec 01, 2018 at 02:43 PM
  #212
Blueberry book, I just sent you PM to ask u about running, etc. So I'm a tad hungry but don't want to eat. What else is new? And I gotta start cooking again now, for someone else. I have to cook ALOT & I pretty much hate it. I don't like entering the stupid kitchen, at all.
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Default Dec 01, 2018 at 08:20 PM
  #213
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Blueberry book, I just sent you PM to ask u about running, etc. So I'm a tad hungry but don't want to eat. What else is new? And I gotta start cooking again now, for someone else. I have to cook ALOT & I pretty much hate it. I don't like entering the stupid kitchen, at all.
I hate cooking too. Loathe it. Some people with anorexia seem to like it, if they cook for others. Never me. I love my family, but when they are at work and school, lunch is one less meal I have to cook. It seems like mealtime is always coming around. I get so sick of it.

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Default Dec 02, 2018 at 02:01 AM
  #214
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I hate cooking too. Loathe it. Some people with anorexia seem to like it, if they cook for others. Never me. I love my family, but when they are at work and school, lunch is one less meal I have to cook. It seems like mealtime is always coming around. I get so sick of it.
I really did spend hours in the kitchen today. I loathe it, too. Absolute drudgery. It makes me hate food even more..
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Default Dec 02, 2018 at 04:17 PM
  #215
I had breakfast which was okay (bacon sandwich), then I had 2 chocolate bars and some potato chips- only 1 bag, which I suppose isn't too bad

but then at dinner I really let myself down- in sted of eating 8 yorkshire puddings like I usually do I had 14, which is almost double what I have- almost
 
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Default Dec 02, 2018 at 05:27 PM
  #216
I was restricting for awhile but I think I'm finally realizing I have to give up the ED. Every aspect of it. I can't hold onto certain parts that I feel like I can "keep under control"

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Default Dec 02, 2018 at 11:57 PM
  #217
Doing an extra set of jumprope cuz I ate extra food. I do not like high-restriction. Why am I doing it lately then? I don't know. I wish I knew exact calories of all my bites, here & there. I don't like eating a "meal". A large plate of food. No. Low calorie is easier. I still hate food Daily Check In Thread for those with an eating disorder of any kind #2 it annoys me!
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Default Dec 03, 2018 at 12:02 AM
  #218
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I was restricting for awhile but I think I'm finally realizing I have to give up the ED. Every aspect of it. I can't hold onto certain parts that I feel like I can "keep under control"
Blue_Bird, good luck to u in all your endeavors! Daily Check In Thread for those with an eating disorder of any kind #2 Thank u so much for that word of wisdom, u wrote. In gonna use that, for my alcohol cravings. About control, u wrote Daily Check In Thread for those with an eating disorder of any kind #2
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Default Dec 03, 2018 at 05:25 PM
  #219
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I was restricting for awhile but I think I'm finally realizing I have to give up the ED. Every aspect of it. I can't hold onto certain parts that I feel like I can "keep under control"
That is awesome! You can do it!

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Default Dec 03, 2018 at 05:38 PM
  #220
Having trouble eating today, not sure why. Yesterday was the anniversary of a painful event, maybe stress, anxiety? I ran so much today. OMG, I'm exhausted. Then, I had to run a lot of errands - drugstore (daughter's OTC allergy medication), bank, animal clinic (cats needed more flea medication, that stuff is over $100 a box, and you only get 6 doses, but we have 3 cats, ugh!), grocery shopping, gas, pharmacy to pick up medication for H & me as they do not take our insurance at the drugstore with the only generic allergy medication my daughter will take.

Unloaded groceries, cats all wanted fed, ate half a fancy chocolate bar with nuts putting away groceries, a handful of grapes as I washed them, then chores, finally a shower. I felt gross. It got in the mid-60s here today, and I'd been going, going, going. Struggled eating soup at lunch, couldn't finish it. Guess on the positive side, I was able to skip my prn anxiety meds today - 2 mg clonazepam, 1 tablet of propranolol, low dose Seroquel, just take the gabapentin (that one is prescribed by the rheumatologist).

Worried I'm a bit manicky. Well, I've been mixed for ages (since late March at least), could finally be coming out of that. Hypomania I like, but the full-blown stuff, I hate.

IDK, some days I think I have a normal appetite (though normal, what is that exactly?), others I'm starving, and other days are like today. Try to eat, just not hungry. I'm exhausted too, but I have to pick up my daughter in an hour. She has practice for a math competition until 5:30 today. Then, it's homework & dinner & bath, all delayed because of her practice. I already feel ready for bed. Am drinking some coffee to perk up.

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I shall be telling this with a sigh
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two roads diverged in a wood, and I -
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.
--Robert Frost
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