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Old 12-07-2018, 04:52 PM #251
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Default Re: Daily Check In Thread for those with an eating disorder of any kind #2

I deep cleaned our house more, today. Cleaning up dust & dog hair. I am constantly distracted. It helps me relax, too. It helps my head. Gotta cook dinner now! Yahoo! I put off going into the kitchen, until the very last minute. Every single day. It's hilarious, actually. Nope, I don't care about kitchens Daily Check In Thread for those with an eating disorder of any kind #2
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Old 12-08-2018, 03:47 AM #252
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Default Re: Daily Check In Thread for those with an eating disorder of any kind #2

I've decided I won't be posting here much. I hope you all will be okay. I need to get myself together on my own. This place doesn't help me but I hope it helps you. Much love, respect and peace to all of you in going forward with your lives.
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Old 12-08-2018, 10:12 AM #253
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Default Re: Daily Check In Thread for those with an eating disorder of any kind #2

Quote:
Originally Posted by LucyD View Post
I've decided I won't be posting here much. I hope you all will be okay. I need to get myself together on my own. This place doesn't help me but I hope it helps you. Much love, respect and peace to all of you in going forward with your lives.
Do what you need to do to help yourself. Once I tried an ED support group, and I completely became so competitive, I set myself by a ton. Hope you drop by with an update now and again.
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I shall be telling this with a sigh
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two roads diverged in a wood, and I -
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.
--Robert Frost
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Old 12-08-2018, 10:17 AM #254
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Default Re: Daily Check In Thread for those with an eating disorder of any kind #2

Birthday party today for my daughter with some of her friends from school. Every single one invited could make it, go figure. Cake and such...blah. I overslept. Need to shower, get balloons, cake and ice. Canít wait for today to be over. I hate birthday parties, even for my own daughter. Though by next year, it will probably be a slumber party, so I should be grateful.
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Bupropion XL 150 mg, Seroquel 400 mg, Lamictal 400 mg, Clonazepam 1 mg 4/day, Clonidine 0.3 mg, Propanolol 10 mg 3/day, Buspar 30 mg 2/day, Adderall 40 mg, Trazodone 25 mg, Protonix 20 mg (ulcer) , Gabapentin 600 mg (fibro), Tizandine 4 mg 4/day (fibro)

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
two roads diverged in a wood, and I -
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.
--Robert Frost
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Old 12-08-2018, 05:47 PM #255
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Default Re: Daily Check In Thread for those with an eating disorder of any kind #2

Quote:
Originally Posted by LucyD View Post
I've decided I won't be posting here much. I hope you all will be okay. I need to get myself together on my own. This place doesn't help me but I hope it helps you. Much love, respect and peace to all of you in going forward with your lives.
LucyD, please don't leave this great thread you started. I hope one of my dumb posts complaining about food didn't upset you or anyone else. How are you doing otherwise? I always enjoyed chatting with u here. Daily Check In Thread for those with an eating disorder of any kind #2Daily Check In Thread for those with an eating disorder of any kind #2
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Old 12-08-2018, 09:10 PM #256
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Default Re: Daily Check In Thread for those with an eating disorder of any kind #2

Kid birthday party over, and I am still in one piece. Did OK talking to the 2 moms who stayed and didnít just drop their kids off. Had a piece of cake, but I do regret I didnít realize how much of this cake would have black icing (a road in the design), resulting in wonderful blue/black teeth. Surprised to have little guilt after eating the cake, but thatís a nice change. Pdoc did think I was getting manicky and upped the antipsychotic (Seroquel). I think manicky symptoms tend to feed the ED.
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Bupropion XL 150 mg, Seroquel 400 mg, Lamictal 400 mg, Clonazepam 1 mg 4/day, Clonidine 0.3 mg, Propanolol 10 mg 3/day, Buspar 30 mg 2/day, Adderall 40 mg, Trazodone 25 mg, Protonix 20 mg (ulcer) , Gabapentin 600 mg (fibro), Tizandine 4 mg 4/day (fibro)

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
two roads diverged in a wood, and I -
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.
--Robert Frost
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Old 12-09-2018, 04:56 AM #257
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Default Re: Daily Check In Thread for those with an eating disorder of any kind #2

Just a few thoughts...I think lately we have been posting a lot in this thread about not eating, not exercising & feeling guilt about eating or not working out, having zero appetite. Those things can be posted as it's a recovery thread, but we want to include people with all types of EDs, binge eaters, people not being told what bones they can see, etc. Though I am not exactly sure how we'd do that. Maybe for those of us needing to gain or stop bad habits working to post one thing we've done in the day to fight the ED, a thought we have dismissed, etc. I just don't want this thread making people with EDs other than anorexia, bulimia, whatever passes for ED-NOS these days feeling left out or uncomfortable posting because they have different issues with food. I don't know how we'd accomplish this though. We all need to remember this is a support thread that is recovery oriented, not continuing your ED oriented, but how? I know we have anorexia and bulimia subforums and more, but those are not very active at all. Posting there would be like what is the point? I think.

LucyD, I hope you can stay or come back when December passes. I know you said this is an especially hard time for you. I hope your depression starts to improve. I can't remember, do you see a pdoc or take meds or just a PCP? If you leave, I hope you return for an update (hopefully just for a little while, but I understand the need to go for awhile, I've done it on an ED forum - also a recovery one)

Everyone needs to feel welcome here, no matter the ED or even suspected ED, and we need to focus on that, along with recovery.
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Bupropion XL 150 mg, Seroquel 400 mg, Lamictal 400 mg, Clonazepam 1 mg 4/day, Clonidine 0.3 mg, Propanolol 10 mg 3/day, Buspar 30 mg 2/day, Adderall 40 mg, Trazodone 25 mg, Protonix 20 mg (ulcer) , Gabapentin 600 mg (fibro), Tizandine 4 mg 4/day (fibro)

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
two roads diverged in a wood, and I -
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.
--Robert Frost
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Old 12-09-2018, 04:41 PM #258
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Default Re: Daily Check In Thread for those with an eating disorder of any kind #2

Continuing my thought above...I think we have all gone through similar crap in our lives, and that causes issues with food and body image, whether you binge eat or barely eat at all. It's still a miserable lifestyle. Is there anyone on here who does not have a mood disorder like depression or bipolar? It's likely most of us do.

I am going to start with a few positives I did today:
I ate a leftover piece of my daughter's birthday cake.
I ran less than I wanted to in my head.
I didn't step on ths scale this morning! Though I have my period to thank for that, my weight is always crazy when I'm on it, and I figured, why bother stressing out?
I did something for myself by watching an episode of a TV show in a series I've been watching, snacking on Cheezitz with it (I'm addicted to those things).

It's always one day at a time. It's going to be a hectic week, and I am afraid that will affect my eating & exercise habits. H is flying to Toronto on Tuesday after teaching school and arriving back very late Wed. night, so late it will be after midnight & really Thursday morning. H's trip is for the partial share he owns in a company in India that makes nanotubes. They modified the method he developed in his graduate thesis, and consult him all the time, and by a fluke ended up finding a way to manufacture nanotubes with less junk in the batch. The CEO is a good person, has gotten a lot of good press in India, and now they are trying to get funding for the company as really nobody wants to buy nanotubes except to do research, and they need an application where only nanotubes work or nanotubes are superior to the existing method. We'll see. This company is around 7, 8 years old now, I think. My daughter has a choir singing thing at her school on Thursday evening, and my daughter's birthday is on Friday. Saturday, my mom is having an extended family birthday party for my daughter. It should be fun. Both my sisters will be there with my nieces & nephews. One of my sisters has 3 girls, the other 2 boys. Then, a shortened week of school, class Christmas party on Thursday with early release, and I told the room mom I would help her as she is really stressed (she was here for my daughter's birthday party yesterday).

I hope everyone is doing OK. Hugs to those who need them. Right now, my mood is a bit less manicky, especially when it comes to be irritable or interrupting people talking. Maybe the Seroquel increase is helping. I hope so. My head has been noisy with racing thoughts. They are not voices, they are my own thoughts, just one after another after another, nonstop, a giant tangle.
__________________
Bipolar 1 mixed features, PTSD, anorexia, panic disorder, ADHD

Bupropion XL 150 mg, Seroquel 400 mg, Lamictal 400 mg, Clonazepam 1 mg 4/day, Clonidine 0.3 mg, Propanolol 10 mg 3/day, Buspar 30 mg 2/day, Adderall 40 mg, Trazodone 25 mg, Protonix 20 mg (ulcer) , Gabapentin 600 mg (fibro), Tizandine 4 mg 4/day (fibro)

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
two roads diverged in a wood, and I -
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.
--Robert Frost
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Old 12-09-2018, 09:15 PM #259
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Default Re: Daily Check In Thread for those with an eating disorder of any kind #2

I've been eating more vegetables. I found a very simple recipe for squash I'm going to try later in the week.

I've eaten fairly well balanced the past couple days. I'm starting to wonder if I have a problem with dairy products. It's weird. I never had any issues with it before. Ever since I developed GERD I seem to have problems when I have milk or foods with a lot of dairy. Certain foods have been making me feel bad physically, not mentally but if I eat junk food lately it makes me feel like crap. My stomach was making strange noises earlier today Daily Check In Thread for those with an eating disorder of any kind #2 normally i have a steel stomach. So kind of confused as to why this has been happening.

Anyway, I finished reading the Eating Disorder Sourcebook. There was a lot of useful information in there. I signed up for some Eating D/O newsletters to stay up to date and informed on stuff.

I've been drinking more water because I'm probably dehydrated. I got some raspberry lime seltzer since I've been getting bored with plain water.

I'm trying to stay balanced nutritionally. I have a long way to go but I'm beginning to make changes. I have my first appointment with the nutritionist on the 18th.

Lots of stress. This week will be the last week of the fall semester then I take my final exam. Plus I'm trying to confront some anxiety and panic issues.
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Old 12-09-2018, 09:19 PM #260
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Default Re: Daily Check In Thread for those with an eating disorder of any kind #2

Quote:
Originally Posted by Blueberrybook View Post
Continuing my thought above...I think we have all gone through similar crap in our lives, and that causes issues with food and body image, whether you binge eat or barely eat at all. It's still a miserable lifestyle. Is there anyone on here who does not have a mood disorder like depression or bipolar? It's likely most of us do.



I am going to start with a few positives I did today:

I ate a leftover piece of my daughter's birthday cake.

I ran less than I wanted to in my head.

I didn't step on ths scale this morning! Though I have my period to thank for that, my weight is always crazy when I'm on it, and I figured, why bother stressing out?

I did something for myself by watching an episode of a TV show in a series I've been watching, snacking on Cheezitz with it (I'm addicted to those things).



It's always one day at a time. It's going to be a hectic week, and I am afraid that will affect my eating & exercise habits. H is flying to Toronto on Tuesday after teaching school and arriving back very late Wed. night, so late it will be after midnight & really Thursday morning. H's trip is for the partial share he owns in a company in India that makes nanotubes. They modified the method he developed in his graduate thesis, and consult him all the time, and by a fluke ended up finding a way to manufacture nanotubes with less junk in the batch. The CEO is a good person, has gotten a lot of good press in India, and now they are trying to get funding for the company as really nobody wants to buy nanotubes except to do research, and they need an application where only nanotubes work or nanotubes are superior to the existing method. We'll see. This company is around 7, 8 years old now, I think. My daughter has a choir singing thing at her school on Thursday evening, and my daughter's birthday is on Friday. Saturday, my mom is having an extended family birthday party for my daughter. It should be fun. Both my sisters will be there with my nieces & nephews. One of my sisters has 3 girls, the other 2 boys. Then, a shortened week of school, class Christmas party on Thursday with early release, and I told the room mom I would help her as she is really stressed (she was here for my daughter's birthday party yesterday).



I hope everyone is doing OK. Hugs to those who need them. Right now, my mood is a bit less manicky, especially when it comes to be irritable or interrupting people talking. Maybe the Seroquel increase is helping. I hope so. My head has been noisy with racing thoughts. They are not voices, they are my own thoughts, just one after another after another, nonstop, a giant tangle.


Those are great positive things you did! Keep it up

Try to make sure to incorporate self care during the week since it will be stressful for you. Maybe the seroquel increase will really start to kick in good and the racing thoughts decrease enough where you can focus and read a book, you enjoy reading right?
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