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Default Feb 25, 2019 at 07:17 AM
  #541
Haven't been here, been struggling with pain and physical therapy and "things." Haven't read the posts. Don't have the energy to catch up.

Wishing everyone all the best for their lives. We can all do this One Day At a Time..

I was thinking about it and no one deserves the way we beat ourselves up. All's we've done is try to live in this crazy society that puts too much value on outward looks and makes us hurt.

I hope you all have a good week.

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Default Feb 26, 2019 at 03:10 PM
  #542
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Originally Posted by LucyD View Post
Haven't been here, been struggling with pain and physical therapy and "things." Haven't read the posts. Don't have the energy to catch up.

Wishing everyone all the best for their lives. We can all do this One Day At a Time..

I was thinking about it and no one deserves the way we beat ourselves up. All's we've done is try to live in this crazy society that puts too much value on outward looks and makes us hurt.

I hope you all have a good week.

Daily Check In Thread for those with an eating disorder of any kind #2
So sorry Lucy. I'm the same with keeping up with posts.

I HATE the images society forces us to feel we need to meet to be an acceptable or good person, especially for women (though I know there are plenty of males with EDs too).

I also hate that there are also all these pro-ED sites & forums that drag in a lot of young teenagers and basically cause them to want to be anorexic, tips, daily updates, triggering stuff, photos, etc., and then what do you know, they become anorexic and/or bulimic? I was already deep into anorexia before going to one of those sites when I was in college (they cloak themselves a bit since my college days, but you definitely still can find plenty out there, you just have to look for the right stuff/sites to get there). I belonged to a couple recovery forums that were once very active, some are gone, and the active ones maybe get a couple posts in 2 weeks, if even that.

Hollywood makes it seem glamorous to have anorexia (like it's the golden standard of eating disorders everyone should aim for), and the reality is that it is not glamorous at all, it sucks so, so, so much, just like all eating disorders suck.

I've run across studies that estimate at least 3 out of 4 women have some sort of disordered eating thoughts or habits, even if they do not have a diagnosed ED, will do things like skip a meal because of their weight or feelings about their images. That is just messed up.

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Default Feb 26, 2019 at 03:15 PM
  #543
Running too much though I am enjoying having H being able to work from home Tuesdays and Thursdays. The running is an addiction too, but it is tied to the ED. If I don't run, I don't let myself eat as much as I should be eating. And always, always I have the guilt about eating period.

I am anxious right now. My mom is having gallbladder removal surgery. She ended up going to the ER after 3 days of bad stomach pain (stubborn). She had a gallstone ending up in a bile duct, clogging the duct. They are removing her gallbladder but think she may have passed the gallstone in the duct; they will assess during this surgery whether she will need another.

I so hate myself for having panic attacks and anxiety driving on busy roads and freeways. She is at a hospital roughly an hour's drive away, but on the worst and busiest freeways off the Houston metro area, and I just can't drive it to be there right now. Both my sisters are driving out to help, one doing a long drive from the Dallas area, anywhere from a 4-6 hr. drive, that entire route tends to be busy these days.

I should be there, and I'm not because of my stupid panic disorder

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Default Feb 26, 2019 at 11:19 PM
  #544
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So sorry Lucy. I'm the same with keeping up with posts.

I HATE the images society forces us to feel we need to meet to be an acceptable or good person, especially for women (though I know there are plenty of males with EDs too).

I also hate that there are also all these pro-ED sites & forums that drag in a lot of young teenagers and basically cause them to want to be anorexic, tips, daily updates, triggering stuff, photos, etc., and then what do you know, they become anorexic and/or bulimic? I was already deep into anorexia before going to one of those sites when I was in college (they cloak themselves a bit since my college days, but you definitely still can find plenty out there, you just have to look for the right stuff/sites to get there). I belonged to a couple recovery forums that were once very active, some are gone, and the active ones maybe get a couple posts in 2 weeks, if even that.

Hollywood makes it seem glamorous to have anorexia (like it's the golden standard of eating disorders everyone should aim for), and the reality is that it is not glamorous at all, it sucks so, so, so much, just like all eating disorders suck.

I've run across studies that estimate at least 3 out of 4 women have some sort of disordered eating thoughts or habits, even if they do not have a diagnosed ED, will do things like skip a meal because of their weight or feelings about their images. That is just messed up.
I agree with all you've said. It's a sad thing.

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Default Feb 26, 2019 at 11:19 PM
  #545
I hope everyone sleeps well.

Daily Check In Thread for those with an eating disorder of any kind #2

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Default Feb 27, 2019 at 02:27 PM
  #546
So I am new to this community and new to this kind of community. I am trying to figure out coping skills for when my brain is telling me I am hungry, but my body is not hungry. Sometimes it has to do with emotions, but sometimes it is just plain boredom; or sometimes it is because I want something other than food that I cannot have at the moment, some kind of psychological reassurance. My goal here is to fight back, to get my mind to rule my body and not the other way around. I think taking a walk is usually helpful, but I am in a situation where I am not always free to get up and walk around. Any ideas for healthy coping skills would be greatly appreciated.
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Default Feb 27, 2019 at 07:43 PM
  #547
Hi Puma..sounds like you know quite a bit about why you and many of us eat or don't eat. Glad you are here..

Daily Check In Thread for those with an eating disorder of any kind #2

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Default Feb 27, 2019 at 09:46 PM
  #548
It's been another very struggly day. Glad it's over.

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Default Feb 28, 2019 at 01:02 AM
  #549
I need to schedule a surgery for myself. The doctor weighed me as i was ( in heavy snow boots, literally 8 layers of clothes, my winter coat, and holding my purse which in itself weighs several pounds ) And given that it was still low, and no concerns. I'm always confused about others confrontations? Maybe i just look so darn healthy. Anyhow, i am super happy to get the sugery scheduled. I was concerned I'd get more "wait and see" attitude, but that didn't happen.
Hope all are well.
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Default Feb 28, 2019 at 04:04 AM
  #550
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I need to schedule a surgery for myself. The doctor weighed me as i was ( in heavy snow boots, literally 8 layers of clothes, my winter coat, and holding my purse which in itself weighs several pounds ) And given that it was still low, and no concerns. I'm always confused about others confrontations? Maybe i just look so darn healthy. Anyhow, i am super happy to get the sugery scheduled. I was concerned I'd get more "wait and see" attitude, but that didn't happen.
Hope all are well.
Good to see you. I hope the surgery goes well and your recovery is smoothe. I don't know why you are having surgery but know this is always a serious thing to undergo.

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Default Feb 28, 2019 at 08:59 AM
  #551
Turns out I am losing more weight than I thought. And the eating program is obviously doing something, because I have to reduce my insulin dosage.
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Default Feb 28, 2019 at 01:13 PM
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Turns out I am losing more weight than I thought. And the eating program is obviously doing something, because I have to reduce my insulin dosage.
I'm not sure if that is bad or good but I wish you well with your plan.

I'm going to be resurrecting the scale from the garage in the next few days..I know I've gained some as I was weighed last week. Dr. suggested weighing once a week. We'll see how that goes..or the scale may end up in the Lake.

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Default Feb 28, 2019 at 08:51 PM
  #553
I'm doing much better mentally now. I hope it lasts! Thinking about you all and wishing you happiness. Sometimes, for me, it comes in the little things and moments.

Daily Check In Thread for those with an eating disorder of any kind #2

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Default Mar 01, 2019 at 05:49 AM
  #554
A new month and going to get the scale out but not yet....kind of scared to and don't want the whole vicious cycle to start again with weighing and feeling like crap because of it. I think I need some positive self talk about how the scale doesn't dictate what or who or how I am..

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Default Mar 02, 2019 at 10:23 AM
  #555
Got the scale out of my car trunk. Trying to prepare myself mentally for what it's going to say. I want to accept my weight and not beat myself when it's more than what I think is acceptable. And I know it is more than what I feel I should weigh already because I was weighed at the doctor last week. It doesn't make me a bad person or any negative adjectives. I'll use it as a baseline for further weigh-ins because I need to watch it for my health's sake and only that reason. I am a good, worthwhile, pleasant person no matter what I weigh.

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Default Mar 02, 2019 at 10:46 AM
  #556
Well, I weighed myself and it's okay. It's only a number and does not define who or what I am.

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Default Mar 02, 2019 at 10:48 AM
  #557
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I'm not sure if that is bad or good but I wish you well with your plan.

I'm going to be resurrecting the scale from the garage in the next few days..I know I've gained some as I was weighed last week. Dr. suggested weighing once a week. We'll see how that goes..or the scale may end up in the Lake.
Thank you. I'm being medically supervised and check in regularly. My doctor is pleased with my progress. I'm sticking to the program, and my insulin dosage has been cut in half. Insulin can make a person gain weight, or at least make it next to impossible to lose it, so the less I have to take, the better. If my blood sugars can be controlled without it, that would be the ideal.

I hear you on the scale. I was initially told to weigh myself every day. And only once a day! I might get obsessive enough to weigh myself several times throughout the day, and of course I'm going to be a little heavier as the day goes on, which is going to be discouraging. I was counseled that little fluctuations might be water weight or whatever, and not a true measure of whether I'm gaining or losing body weight.

I'm not even sure about weighing every day. I might be better off once a week, so I can see the loss, if any. Seeing the same number for several days in a row can make it feel like I'm not making any progress, which would make me want to give up.

Of course, I know if I give up, all of the progress I've made is undone.
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Default Mar 02, 2019 at 08:51 PM
  #558
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Thank you. I'm being medically supervised and check in regularly. My doctor is pleased with my progress. I'm sticking to the program, and my insulin dosage has been cut in half. Insulin can make a person gain weight, or at least make it next to impossible to lose it, so the less I have to take, the better. If my blood sugars can be controlled without it, that would be the ideal.

I hear you on the scale. I was initially told to weigh myself every day. And only once a day! I might get obsessive enough to weigh myself several times throughout the day, and of course I'm going to be a little heavier as the day goes on, which is going to be discouraging. I was counseled that little fluctuations might be water weight or whatever, and not a true measure of whether I'm gaining or losing body weight.

I'm not even sure about weighing every day. I might be better off once a week, so I can see the loss, if any. Seeing the same number for several days in a row can make it feel like I'm not making any progress, which would make me want to give up.

Of course, I know if I give up, all of the progress I've made is undone.
So glad you are doing alright. I'm diabetic, too. I have the scale back indoors. I'm going to try once a week. For the reasons you said I find it discouraging to weigh more often. I may be going on something for the diabetes. I'll get an A1C this month most likely. I think I may be put on Metformin which I've heard has helped some to lose weight. Probably not the same thing you take.

I hope your night is a good one.

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Default Mar 03, 2019 at 10:14 AM
  #559
It's been awhile since I checked in on this thread. I kind of had some psychosis symptoms that were consuming my life for over a week. I wasn't eating properly or anything at all but it actually wasn't intentional. I was so out of it and far from reality I just never even remembered to eat.

I'm eating normally again now that I'm out of that episode for the most part. I have a lot of stress though now as a result of some problems with my college classes due to the episode so I'm trying to not eat a bunch of junk food to make myself feel better or escape temporarily

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Default Mar 03, 2019 at 08:33 PM
  #560
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It's been awhile since I checked in on this thread. I kind of had some psychosis symptoms that were consuming my life for over a week. I wasn't eating properly or anything at all but it actually wasn't intentional. I was so out of it and far from reality I just never even remembered to eat.

I'm eating normally again now that I'm out of that episode for the most part. I have a lot of stress though now as a result of some problems with my college classes due to the episode so I'm trying to not eat a bunch of junk food to make myself feel better or escape temporarily
So sorry you were having such a hard time. I'm glad you are feeling better now. I've been wanting to binge but have no junk in my apt. Had some other stuff I didn't need tho last night. Getting back on track for the most part. Hang in there!

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