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Default Nov 19, 2018 at 09:07 PM
  #121
Gained some insight into my eating disorder relapse

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Default Nov 19, 2018 at 10:28 PM
  #122
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Gloomy day here. I didn't sleep very well last night. Tried a nap, but I couldn't fall asleep.

Did run, beat the rain though I got a little damp on the home stretch. Felt better being able to exercise. Weight is down a bit today, but I think I am dehydrated. See the pdoc on Wed., need to get hydrated again. See the T tomorrow, but this week feels weird with both H and my daughter home. Today feels like Sat. or Sun. (H is a teacher, so he is off this week along with the students.)

Stupid me keeps obsessing over my body. I have a skinny distrance runner's physique now, very compact. Thighs too big, but well, I run.

Still hating the ulcer surgery scar on my abdomen (belly button & up around 4 inches) from Feb. I swear, you can still see where those stupid staples went in. Most of the scar is healing good, though there is a dark pink spot taking it's time. I see gastro-doc next month. Gastro doc and trauma surgeons seem super pleased with this surgery. I had muscle where they normally would have taken fat for the surgery (I had started running, maybe a month or so), and they had to take the fat from another place, changing other parts of the surgery a bit. I don't doubt they have collaborated and written it up for a journal, from off-hand comments I heard. It's not like they need my permission, they just call me female, age 40, etc. Stupid scar.
I'm sorry you're so bothered by the scar.
I have a great number of scars, but most of them don't trouble me much.
I do find silicone sheets for scars, available otc, are good for raised scars, and moisurizing lotion with vitamin E is good in general. Most other otc scar treatments are just sunscreen, and its usually more cost effective to just buy sunscreen.
FYI i also had a perforated ulcer in 2009. I don't tend tend to be too bothered by surgical scars, but i can understand their being upsetting to others.
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Default Nov 20, 2018 at 02:55 AM
  #123
Another day, another chance to start over. I'm really going to try to do my best today. I really need to drink more water.
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Default Nov 20, 2018 at 09:28 AM
  #124
((((Everyone)))) You can do this! You're all in my thoughts.
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Default Nov 20, 2018 at 12:03 PM
  #125
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I'm sorry you're so bothered by the scar.
I have a great number of scars, but most of them don't trouble me much.
I do find silicone sheets for scars, available otc, are good for raised scars, and moisurizing lotion with vitamin E is good in general. Most other otc scar treatments are just sunscreen, and its usually more cost effective to just buy sunscreen.
FYI i also had a perforated ulcer in 2009. I don't tend tend to be too bothered by surgical scars, but i can understand their being upsetting to others.
Sorry you had a perforated ulcer too. Mine was duodenal. That has got to be the most painful thing I have ever been through, especially post-op and recovery. So much worse than childbirth. I guess at least I got help before I passed out and died though after surgery, I hurt so much I wish I had died. I spent around 3-4 days hallucinating a lot, which I hope was from the combo of pain & the medication I was on and not the bipolar. And it happened on Valentine's Day, so while I am sure I will forget the year in the future, I am pretty sure I will always remember the day of the anniversary.

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Default Nov 20, 2018 at 12:11 PM
  #126
I woke up too late to run today. It's left me a bit antsy. I also have a bad sinus headache, and I hoped it would go away with being upright instead of lying down, but I guess not. Maybe I will try Tylenol, though it is rare that it actually helps me.

I see the T later today, the pdoc tomorrow. Hope the pdoc will not weigh me. I am dehydrated so I'm weighing a bit less, got to get more hydrated today, plus his stupid scale weighs 5 lb. low, so he thinks you weigh less than you do. I really need to drink more water today, but it gets boring, and I want the caffeine in coffee & Diet Coke. Ugh.

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two roads diverged in a wood, and I -
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.
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Default Nov 20, 2018 at 04:00 PM
  #127
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Originally Posted by Blueberrybook View Post
Gloomy day here. I didn't sleep very well last night. Tried a nap, but I couldn't fall asleep.

Did run, beat the rain though I got a little damp on the home stretch. Felt better being able to exercise. Weight is down a bit today, but I think I am dehydrated. See the pdoc on Wed., need to get hydrated again. See the T tomorrow, but this week feels weird with both H and my daughter home. Today feels like Sat. or Sun. (H is a teacher, so he is off this week along with the students.)

Stupid me keeps obsessing over my body. I have a skinny distrance runner's physique now, very compact. Thighs too big, but well, I run.

Still hating the ulcer surgery scar on my abdomen (belly button & up around 4 inches) from Feb. I swear, you can still see where those stupid staples went in. Most of the scar is healing good, though there is a dark pink spot taking it's time. I see gastro-doc next month. Gastro doc and trauma surgeons seem super pleased with this surgery. I had muscle where they normally would have taken fat for the surgery (I had started running, maybe a month or so), and they had to take the fat from another place, changing other parts of the surgery a bit. I don't doubt they have collaborated and written it up for a journal, from off-hand comments I heard. It's not like they need my permission, they just call me female, age 40, etc. Stupid scar.
I've had a scar since 1989 when I had "female surgery." It was so dark for a long time and my lower abdomen looked deformed. It really bothered me for a long time. Wish I had not had the surgery and found out I could have gone a better route with a different doctor and then would not have the scar at all. I guess now it's just a part of who I am and it doesn't bother me so much now.

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Default Nov 21, 2018 at 08:53 AM
  #128
It's a new day, a new beginning. Feeling alright today. Didn't feel so good yesterday, think I slept too much making me ache all over.

Daily Check In Thread for those with an eating disorder of any kind #2

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Default Nov 21, 2018 at 01:29 PM
  #129
Well, Thanksgiving is tomorrow. I am thawing a turkey breast for tomorrow. Also have a yam, brussel sprouts and will make some stuffing, too. I'll be spending it just with my dog Suzy and we WILL enjoy our meal!

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Default Nov 21, 2018 at 02:19 PM
  #130
((((LucyD)))) You can do this!
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Default Nov 21, 2018 at 02:44 PM
  #131
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((((LucyD)))) You can do this!
Thanks so much.

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Default Nov 21, 2018 at 03:28 PM
  #132
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Well, Thanksgiving is tomorrow. I am thawing a turkey breast for tomorrow. Also have a yam, brussel sprouts and will make some stuffing, too. I'll be spending it just with my dog Suzy and we WILL enjoy our meal!
I'm proud of you! I wish I had your motivation. Thanksgiving for us with be H, my daughter, and me, and I thought, "What is the point of cooking a Thanksgiving dinner for only 3 people?" so we are not having Thanksgiving. Possibly some ham, depends, I am not feeling well today.

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And that has made all the difference.
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Default Nov 21, 2018 at 03:38 PM
  #133
Ran today. Stomach got upset (diarrhea & feeling like I had to throw up). Made it to the pdoc's dehydrated. I told him, don't even weight me, the number won't be right, and he didn't. I got a lecture on eating more protein. Kept meds the same for the first time in forever. Have a phone appt. with him in 2 weeks.

Got home, started feeling sick again. Took some Pepto-Bismol (supposed to be careful using it if you have ulcers, but I am not sure about post-ulcer because they gave it to me in the hospital all the time, of course, the liquid version). Started feeling a bit better. Ate chicken, rice & barley soup, some applesauce, feel horrendous, like I might throw up any second. I had thought maybe I made myself sick running too far on an empty stomach, but I'm pretty sure it's a stomach bug. OMG, I feel awful.

Every time I try to lie down in bed, something disrupts me - telephone (telemarketer), doorbell (UPS, then FedEx, then UPS, then Jehoviah's Witnesses). I just can't lie down and nap or even relax.

Dehydrated to the point of looking bad in the face: the sallow, hollow type face. I get just a few pounds lower or lose some water, I just look awful. Took more Pepto-Bismol (that stuff can be taken more than most medications), feeling a bit better, so I think I will look for more liquid: water, apple juice, applesauce even. Wish I had some grapes, but I don't.

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I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
two roads diverged in a wood, and I -
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.
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Default Nov 21, 2018 at 04:20 PM
  #134
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Originally Posted by Blueberrybook View Post
Ran today. Stomach got upset (diarrhea & feeling like I had to throw up). Made it to the pdoc's dehydrated. I told him, don't even weight me, the number won't be right, and he didn't. I got a lecture on eating more protein. Kept meds the same for the first time in forever. Have a phone appt. with him in 2 weeks.

Got home, started feeling sick again. Took some Pepto-Bismol (supposed to be careful using it if you have ulcers, but I am not sure about post-ulcer because they gave it to me in the hospital all the time, of course, the liquid version). Started feeling a bit better. Ate chicken, rice & barley soup, some applesauce, feel horrendous, like I might throw up any second. I had thought maybe I made myself sick running too far on an empty stomach, but I'm pretty sure it's a stomach bug. OMG, I feel awful.

Every time I try to lie down in bed, something disrupts me - telephone (telemarketer), doorbell (UPS, then FedEx, then UPS, then Jehoviah's Witnesses). I just can't lie down and nap or even relax.

Dehydrated to the point of looking bad in the face: the sallow, hollow type face. I get just a few pounds lower or lose some water, I just look awful. Took more Pepto-Bismol (that stuff can be taken more than most medications), feeling a bit better, so I think I will look for more liquid: water, apple juice, applesauce even. Wish I had some grapes, but I don't.
I hope your stomach gets better. Bugs are no fun at all! Oh no! Not the Jehoviah's Witnesses! Don't forget to drink plenty of water. I need to also.

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Default Nov 21, 2018 at 10:45 PM
  #135
Seems not many have stopped by today..wonder why..is it the Holidays? I know how hard they can be. My brother moved out of state this summer leaving me with no one in the family. Well, my nephew is still here but really no one gives a crap any more.

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Default Nov 22, 2018 at 09:12 AM
  #136
Hi, Everybody!

I know why I overeat. I am trying to compensate for all of the unmet needs in my life. So, I am going to sit my fat butt down to go through it and come up with a plan of action.

Happy Thanksgiving, Everyone!!

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Default Nov 22, 2018 at 11:45 AM
  #137
Daily Check In Thread for those with an eating disorder of any kind #2

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Default Nov 22, 2018 at 02:21 PM
  #138
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My favorite is classic rock n roll but I also like just about every kind of music. I listen to some of everything. My favorite lately is Bryan Ferry. I love his music! What kind of music do you like?
I love classic rock too. Plus every other kind of music, including classical, u name it! Everything! I love Bryan ferry & Roxy music! Was just listening to song "slave to love" on YouTube Daily Check In Thread for those with an eating disorder of any kind #2
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Default Nov 22, 2018 at 02:28 PM
  #139
I haven't eaten anything yet, but I will have a big dinner.
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Default Nov 22, 2018 at 02:29 PM
  #140
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I love classic rock too. Plus every other kind of music, including classical, u name it! Everything! I love Bryan ferry & Roxy music! Was just listening to song "slave to love" on YouTube Daily Check In Thread for those with an eating disorder of any kind #2
That's a great song! I found a song on his cds the other day I hadn't heard before. It's really a nice song. I'll post it when I come across it later.

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