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Blueberrybook
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Default Mar 27, 2019 at 02:34 PM
  #621
Restarted therapy yesterday. It went well. We focused a lot on panic attacks/anxiety because I am having an issue with that in the wake of the ITC incident. My T lives even closer to that area than I do and says she still feels her life hasn't quite gotten back to normal. I am not glad she went through it too though I am glad to have a T who understands how frightening/frustrating/scary such an incident can be and how it definitely could trigger even more anxiety and panic attacks.

I am worried though. Just got a call from the rheumatologist (had a lot of bloodwork done). I had thought I might have low iron (often I do), but lately I have gotten to the point of craving/chewing crushed ice a lot (often associated with low iron), so I just figured my iron count was perhaps lower, nothing major.

She is concerned because I am very anemic, and my hemoglobin has dropped a lot in 8 months. She's sending off the lab results to the GI doctor (had surgery for a perforated duodenal ulcer Valentine's Day 2018), who I just saw this morning before getting this info (would have helped had I gotten this bloodwork done last week when my appointment with the rheumatologist was originally scheduled but cancelled because of the ITC chemical plant incident), and she is concerned of a slow bleed somewhere in the GI tract. I am sure this is going to mean more tests and just what that might show. I expect the GI doctor will call either today or tomorrow

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Default Mar 28, 2019 at 06:33 AM
  #622
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Originally Posted by Blueberrybook View Post
Restarted therapy yesterday. It went well. We focused a lot on panic attacks/anxiety because I am having an issue with that in the wake of the ITC incident. My T lives even closer to that area than I do and says she still feels her life hasn't quite gotten back to normal. I am not glad she went through it too though I am glad to have a T who understands how frightening/frustrating/scary such an incident can be and how it definitely could trigger even more anxiety and panic attacks.

I am worried though. Just got a call from the rheumatologist (had a lot of bloodwork done). I had thought I might have low iron (often I do), but lately I have gotten to the point of craving/chewing crushed ice a lot (often associated with low iron), so I just figured my iron count was perhaps lower, nothing major.

She is concerned because I am very anemic, and my hemoglobin has dropped a lot in 8 months. She's sending off the lab results to the GI doctor (had surgery for a perforated duodenal ulcer Valentine's Day 2018), who I just saw this morning before getting this info (would have helped had I gotten this bloodwork done last week when my appointment with the rheumatologist was originally scheduled but cancelled because of the ITC chemical plant incident), and she is concerned of a slow bleed somewhere in the GI tract. I am sure this is going to mean more tests and just what that might show. I expect the GI doctor will call either today or tomorrow


I am glad you started therapy again and it is going well

I do not know anything about the ITC insodent, but I am sorry that it's causing you more panic/ anxiety

hopefully the tests (if indeed you need them) will be okay
 
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Default Mar 28, 2019 at 06:46 AM
  #623
I am worried about the iron tests. All the tests to do with iron and red blood cells plummeted. The GI doc seemed to want me to consider a colonoscopy, and this was before I got the blood test results. The rheumatologist seems to want to repeat the tests dealing with iron and red blood cells first. All my other tests (full thyroid workup, vitamin D, C-reactive protein were OK, though I think I had high neutrophils, something that indicated inflammation, and she didn't test the B vitamins). If I don't hear from either doctor or their staff today, I will call and ask about what the doctors think should be my next step as soon as possible, so I can stop worrying about it.

I am so super worried about internal bleeding and needing surgery to control it. The recovery from the surgery from the perforated ulcer was so painful and uncomfortable, I wished I had died from the ulcer. I didn't know a human could feel so much pain and still be alive. Morphine didn't touch it. This was both a morphine pump and morphine shots should you rate your pain over 7 or 8. Sleep was a gift because I could escape a little, but then I'd shift, and the stupid IV alarm would go off all the time. It pretty much sucked and will be one of my worst life experiences ever. All they gave me was a saline IV and some ice chips (not much), only small sips of water to swallow pills for 5 days straight. OMG, it sucked.

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Somewhere ages and ages hence:
two roads diverged in a wood, and I -
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.
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Default Mar 29, 2019 at 06:33 AM
  #624
Sticking to the eating program. Exercising too. Result, everything's improving except the number on the scale.
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Default Mar 29, 2019 at 08:24 AM
  #625
my dinner yesterday was rank

I just have to say it, it was rank (and I don't often use that word, gross often covers it)

also had a bad night with lots of flashbacks

today I had a shower which made me feel ugly and didn't do anything for my back pain (if anything, it was made worse)

4 hours after my shower and my back is still in terrible pain

also my shopping arived today for the week, had to put that away, which also caused me a lot of back pain

nothing else to do for the rest of the day, so I guess pretend to exist...
 
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Default Apr 01, 2019 at 12:51 AM
  #626
Just dropping in to say hello to everyone...if you want to chat with me you can vm me or pm me.

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Default Apr 02, 2019 at 07:56 AM
  #627
Haven't checked in for awhile

Possible trigger:


Anyway, I'm home now and am making a serious effort to recover.

Hope everyone is well

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Default Apr 02, 2019 at 02:51 PM
  #628
motivation today =0

I litirally, after breakfast, sat in my room and watched my soap opera (back to back episodes). I saved like a week of recordings of the show

emotionally I am doing a bit better than yesterday, but no where near healthy emotions.
dinner wasn't too impressive, and the garlic bread left a horrible taste in my mouth

(I like garlic bread, just not the sort I had this evening)
 
 
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Default Apr 03, 2019 at 07:24 AM
  #629
so far today it's no sleep and really bad back pain

oh and burned breakfast which I've come to realise is not the worst thing in the world.

burned toast actually tastes quite nice
 
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Default Apr 04, 2019 at 01:04 AM
  #630
Was tired all morning...ate too much. So I took a nap, woke up, and ate more. ARGH! I just want some normalcy
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Default Apr 04, 2019 at 12:59 PM
  #631
I'm starting to feel a lot better physically, I'm determined to recover

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Default Apr 05, 2019 at 09:39 PM
  #632
How's everyone been doing?

I'm doing alright, to be honest I feel a little scared from my experience on Monday but it was a wake up call I needed

I ate normal the past few days. Im having a lot of anxiety but trying to work through it

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Default Apr 07, 2019 at 11:20 AM
  #633
backpain not letting up

(as I wrote that, got a really sharp tingle)

tumble drier's broken but hopefully not for long.

did laundry today but had to dry clothes outside (not as affective)

appetite big today

not really an overeat but certainly over the top
one of my little insiders wrote a story today

all by herself

so cute
 
 
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Default Apr 12, 2019 at 11:12 PM
  #634
My wife has been very ill in hospital for 3 weeks. Watching her vomit and wretch continuously for days on end while npo and w/tubes in her stomach actually turned off some of my negative urges. She is home now, and i am so delighted. Really trying to care for myself better so i can take the best care of her. So happy she's home.
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Default Apr 14, 2019 at 06:09 AM
  #635
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My wife has been very ill in hospital for 3 weeks. Watching her vomit and wretch continuously for days on end while npo and w/tubes in her stomach actually turned off some of my negative urges. She is home now, and i am so delighted. Really trying to care for myself better so i can take the best care of her. So happy she's home.


how is she feeling now?

vomiting is horrible. it leaves your mouth so dry

try and get her to have little bits of liquid to keep her hydrated

actually I find soup works good

and mint tea (but not all at once)
 
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Default Apr 14, 2019 at 06:12 AM
  #636
I have been really struggling this week with hunger.

actually, my food (main food) has been really poor this week, and I've not been enjoying it

so I think that's why. I'm eating chocolate and things more than usual, but it's not actually filling me up because my food (dinner and breakfast) is so poor
 
 
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Default Apr 14, 2019 at 04:25 PM
  #637
Almost 2 weeks into recovery, feeling pretty good

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Default Apr 15, 2019 at 06:44 PM
  #638
I bought a dress today for Easter.

It fits me. I can stand, sit, bend, and twist in it, and nothing rips. It is not made of any kind of stretchy knit fabric.

And it did NOT come from the Plus Size section.
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Default Apr 19, 2019 at 12:20 PM
  #639
Hello, I'm doing pretty well. My doctor weighed me, but I didn't see the number because it was done where I wouldn't face it. I've been referred to a nutritionist, so I'll be setting up that appointment soon.

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Trig Apr 20, 2019 at 03:34 PM
  #640
Warning: *MAY TRIGGER*

New here. I just read this entire thread! Talk about free time.

I am not dx with an ED. However, I thought I'd pass my experience along.

I am dx with schizoaffective disorder- bipolar 1 with pschotic features basically but those features are outside a mood episode.

I recently started exercising and eating less/more nutritionally. Because of the meds Ive taken for bp/sza have ruined my metabolism and Ive gained 60 pounds over the last 14 years. Before I was diagnosed, I was very fit: judo 2/3 times a week, competed... In fact I have pix of me at a competition- it makes me so sad! I was in shape. Now I catch my reflection, and I hate it. I see obese people in public and think "that's how I look..." I purposefully do not look at the scale at the doctor or pdoc.

When I was exercising a lot, I had just lost 60 pounds! Now I feel like I'm starting over. I HAD to go to judo even if I didn't feel well. I restricted food all the time and would only eat certain foods. I would "chew/spit"- chew yummy food but stop short of swallowing and spit it out. I was too lazy to figure out how to make myself throw up. Now, because of the psych meds, I have developed fatty liver disease from having metabolic syndrome: pre-diabetes, high cholesterol, and high triglycerides. I am incredibly upset over this! The first time I lost weight, people would tell me how great I looked. Guys only wanted me for my body. My primary doctor became concerned about my weight as it kept going down- too much. I was also very anemic. I was cold all the time. I'd not eat before judo and once almost fainted in the locker room after class. Or, sometimes, I'd get home from class and binge because I felt so bad. Then I'd feel guilty. Everything I ate had to be compensated for with "the right type" of exercise.

Now, I'm seeing the old patterns creeping back. I am seriously planning to discontinue Rexulti- an antipsychotic- because it causes weight gain. I just went off Seroquel because of weight-gain side effects. Previously, I have taken Depakote and Zyprexa- two psych meds that are notorious for "severe" weight gain. I plan to walk or ride my bike as often as I can (stupid rain) to get a big head start. I see myself restricting already "in the name of health". I can only have certain "healthy" foods. Some days all I eat is granola cereal with a banana. I feel I'm sliding back to my old ways- even if still technically overweight.

Thanks for making it this far!

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Last edited by Moose72; Apr 20, 2019 at 04:49 PM..
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