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Winnie973
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Member Since: Oct 2018
Location: St. Louis MO
Posts: 14
5 yr Member
Default Apr 25, 2019 at 01:59 PM
  #1
Ok, so my dietician said that she would recoment a higher level of treatment than just OP which is what I have been doing for the past 2 ish years. I recently have started to restrict more and I have absolutly no motivation what so ever. however, she did say I could stay in OP if I promise to step it up and actually challenge myself and maybe gain a little more weight.
I really do not know what to do. I realize a higher level of treatment might be good for me in terms of therapy. But I do not want to gain more weight, it was hell when I first started treatment. Since then I have had a stable weight (since restricting more I have lost a bit), probably less than what I should weigh, but I was and still am unwilling to gain more. But if I do more treatment they will make me gain more.
I just feel like I am being forced into recovery when I am not ready to. I am terrified of gaining weight. I do not have any motivation to recover, nothing that will help get me through the negative thoughts. I just feel like no one is listening to me. Everyone says recovery is better on the other side, but I felt even worse before the ED, so why will it be any better if I recover?
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Gr3tta_0
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Default Apr 25, 2019 at 08:50 PM
  #2
Your post souds very conflicted.

"but I was and still am unwilling to gain more. "
"I am terrified of gaining weight."
"I do not have any motivation to recover, nothing that will help get me through the negative thoughts."
"I realize a higher level of treatment might be good for me in terms of therapy. "
"I just feel like I am being forced into recovery when I am not ready to."

Basically, the choice is yours. If you want a higher level of therapy to really help you, you must ask for it.
If you don't, you may refuse it, and have full knowledge of possible consequences.
It does not sound based on your post that you are being forced, via court order etc.
The choice remains yours to decide your own level of commitment to recovery.
All the best to you.
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